Ravenous

   Abby threw herself back into his arms, clinging tightly to him. I released Cade as I made my way to them, wrapping my arms around them both. “Thank God you’re ok,” I whispered.

   “You too,” he said with a small smile. “And from the looks of you it doesn’t seem like you had a very easy time of it.”

   “It was awful,” Abby agreed.

  “Let’s go find the others and you can tell us all about it. We’ve found a place to stay for the past couple of days. I’ll take you there before going to retrieve them.”

***

   The shower had been lukewarm by the time I got to it, but I didn’t care, it was still wonderful. I scrubbed myself so ferociously that my skin was red and chapped by the time I was done. I lathered conditioner into my hair hoping that it would help untangle the horrific mess my hair had become.

   We had managed to dig up some clothes upon entering the basement apartment, but they were all men’s clothes. I didn’t care; I would rather have walked around nude then put my disgusting dump clothes back on again. My old clothes were sitting in a trash bag now, but I could still smell them. Either that or the stench really had permeated my skin forever. Just the thought made me scrub myself again, it was becoming painful to do so, but I didn’t care anymore. I just wanted the smell to go away.

   Wanting to save at least some warm water for Cade, I finally tore myself away from the spray of the shower. I dressed in the loose fitting tee and oversized pants. Using a belt I cinched the waist and rolled the bottom of the jeans up. It took me a long time, a lot of hair, and a lot of wincing and cursing, but I was finally able to untangle my hair so that it fell around my shoulders and back again.

   I didn’t pick up the trash bag with my clothes in it; I couldn’t bring myself to touch it, but opened up the door and kicked it out. Much like a soccer ball, I bounced it back and forth between my feet as I made my way down the dark hall before kicking it next to the other two bags sitting by the bulkhead in the small galley kitchen. There was no stove but a hotplate sat next to the microwave. The apartment was sparse; it seemed as if a college student had lived here. I didn’t know if the home above had been his parents, but the entrance into the house had been blocked off. The bulkhead was the only way in or out.

   The basement had no windows, but we had only turned on one light upon entering. The light was in the far back, in a small living room with a battered sofa and a ratty armchair that looked entirely inviting. I slumped into the chair, surprised by how comfortable it was considering that stuffing was popping out of the arms. Cade slipped down the hall, moving swiftly toward the shower.

   I drew my legs up onto the seat, closed my eyes, and passed out.

   I didn’t know how much time had passed when I woke up again. It was impossible to tell time in the windowless room. My legs were cramped, my neck ached from sleeping at such an awkward angle, but I felt better than I had earlier. “You’re awake.”

   I started, blinking slightly in surprise. I hadn’t realized that Bret was on the couch until he had spoken. I winced as my legs protested against me straightening them and my neck screamed in twisted agony, but I was slowly able to unravel myself from my cramped position. “I didn’t see you there. Where is everyone?”

   “Bedroom down the hall. How are you?”

   I swallowed heavily. His tone sounded off, dull, flat. There was something wrong, and I was afraid I already knew what it was. I had been an idiot to fall asleep before I’d had a chance to talk to him; it seemed as if Je

   “From what Abby said it sounded like you guys had a rough time out there.”

   “It could have been worse. Far worse.”

   I tried to make him out on the couch, but it was too dark in the room. There was definitely something off about him, but I wasn’t sure if Je

   The couch groaned slightly as he stood up and came slowly toward me in the dark. Guilt and self hatred flooded me as he knelt before me and took hold of my hands. I wanted to pull my hands away, but he leaned forward and kissed me before I could react. My head spun, I wanted to recoil from him, but I couldn’t bring myself to be that cruel. Bret didn’t deserve that, he didn’t deserve any of this. There was no spark in the kiss, no desire, but it was comforting, familiar, and sweet. I allowed him to kiss me for a moment longer before I slowly pulled away from him.

   “I’m glad you’re safe Bethany, and that you’re here. With me.”

   “Bret…”

   “We can get through this, together. We can get through anythingtogether.”

   His hands were tight on mine, squeezing more firmly as he leaned closer. I swallowed heavily, unsure how to proceed. I had never dealt with anything like this before. “Bret, we need to talk.”

   “You had a rough time out there.”

   “We alldid.”

   “Sometimes things happen…” I frowned at him, my eyebrows drawing tightly together. Had Je

   “Did you speak to Je

   “Je

   I hedged, uncertain how to proceed. He must have picked up on something between Cade and I; or perhaps Cade had said something after I’d fallen asleep. “Bret there’s something we need to talk about. Did Cade…”

   His hands tightened on mine, he leaned closer. “We don’t have to talk about him. When people are frightened, or stressed, they do things that they normally wouldn’t do.”

   “Bret…”

   “It’s ok Bethany; things will go back to normal now. Or at least as normal as they can be under the circumstances.”

   I didn’t know what to say to him, I could barely breathe through the anguish clenching my chest. I had known Bret most of my life, he was a good person. He was a wonderfulperson. It was me that was awful, and wrong and hurtful. I clasped both of his hands tightly in mine. I knew what had to be done, but maybe it didn’t have to be done right now. It was obvious that he didn’t wantit to be right now, obvious that he was clinging to the hope that we would be fine. There wasn’t much that I could give him, but I could give him that at least. Couldn’t I?

   Movement caught my attention. My eyes snapped toward the doorway, widening slightly as I spotted Cade. I didn’t know long he had been standing there, but if he hadn’t moved I never would have noticed him. It seemed as if he was a part of the shadows, he blended seamlessly in with the darkness. I watched him for a long moment, amazed and slightly u

   I pulled back, unable to stop myself as Bret leaned forward to kiss me again. Pain flashed through his eyes, his hands clenched upon mine as he sat back on his heels. I couldn’t look at either of them as I untangled my hands from Bret’s grasp and rose slowly. My back protested the movement as I stretched my cramped muscles, but it felt good to move again.

   I blinked against the harsh flare of light as Cade flipped the switch. Anger flashed across Bret’s features when he spotted Cade leaning in the doorway. “What do you want?” Bret demanded.