Ravenous

   I slipped through the forest, shoving aside bull briar, grape vine, and branches as I struggled to make my way to the stream. I was bleeding and sweating even more by the time I broke free of the woods and stumbled upon the stream. It wassmaller than I remembered, but it was still one of the most wonderful things I had seen in a long time.

   I swiftly kicked off my sneakers and socks and shed my filthy clothes. The stream reached a little above my knees as I waded in. I dropped down; sitting upon the rocky bottom, I let the cold water wash deliciously over my heated, filthy skin. Closing my eyes I fell back in the stream, allowing it to engulf me. I opened my eyes slowly to stare out at the world through the blurry haze of water above me. It was beautiful; the sky was as pristine and clear as the water trickling over my head. My lungs began to burn, but I stayed under, trying to pretend that the world was as perfect as it seemed from beneath the water. Trying to pretend that I could stay here, where it was cool and clean, and I could somehow be hidden from the horror above.

   Unfortunately, I did not have gills. I burst free of the water, gasping for air, struggling to keep the fierce shaking of my body under control. I was not safe here, I knew that, but I could not drag myself from the cool stream. It was the only sliver of peace I had managed to find in awhile. Pulling my knees up against my chest, I rested my chin upon them and closed my eyes.

***

   It was falling over in the water that jolted me awake. I was disoriented, confused, and stu

   I rose shakily to my feet, wincing as the softened pads of them landed painfully upon the rocks. I struggled out of the stream, teetering like a newborn foal as I tried to avoid the more painful looking rocks. I rang my hair out when I reached the shore. The last thing I wanted was to put my filthy clothes back on, unfortunately I didn’t have any other options.

   Sighing in resignation I slipped the smelly clothing back on, shuddering in disgust at the feel of it against my skin. Now that my skin was clean, the smell of them was even more repulsive as it engulfed me. I didn’t care if it was wrong or not, as soon as it was dark out I was going to search out some clean clothes. I was certain the owners of them would understand; if they were still alive they were probably looking for the same thing.

   I groaned in disgust as I slipped the dirty socks back on and shoved my feet into my sneakers. “Feel better?”

   I whirled, stumbling backwards in surprise and nearly falling over as the voice came from the edge of the woods. It took me a moment to find Cade half hidden within the darkening shadows of the day. The sun was behind him, making it hard to discern him against the glare of the rays. “How long have you been there?” I demanded, trying hard to control the accelerated beat of my heart as I panicked at the thought of what he might have seen.

   He shrugged, which was a highly a

   “I didn’t see anything if that’s what you’re worried about.”

   It seemed he was taking pity on me as he uttered these words. I didn’t want his pity, and I didn’t want him looking at me like I was a child. I didn’t want him treating me like I was helpless; I already got enough of that from Bret. “Good.”

   “Bethany…”

   “We should get back. It’s getting dark.”

   I turned away, trying hard to keep hold of my remaining shreds of dignity. He grabbed hold of my hand pulling me back. A small cry of surprise escaped me but it was swiftly buried beneath the hard press of his lips. I was stu

   His lips brushed lightly against mine, just a butterfly caress, before he pulled slowly away. His forehead rested against mine, his fingers stroked my cheeks. I didn’t want the moment to ever end, didn’t ever want to part from him, but I had to. Wehad to.

   “Why are you doing this?” I whispered.

   His eyes were as dark as midnight as he slowly surveyed my face. “Isn’t it obvious?” I shook my head. He sighed softly, his lips brushed lightly over mine again. Heat pooled through me once more, my heart beat a rapid staccato that I was sure he could hear. “It should be.”

   “But, Bret.” He did not move away from me, as I’d thought he would at the reminder of my boyfriend. “Bret’s a good person.”

   “He is.”

   “He loves me.”

   “This has nothing to do with him Bethany.”

   “But it does.” I closed my eyes, unable to meet the stark beauty of his onyx eyes.

   “I’ll tell him if you want.”

   My mouth dropped, shock and horror pounded through me. “That’s not what I want,” I blurted. It wasn’t what I wanted at all. I didn’t want Bret hurt; I didn’t want him to know anything about this. It would be such a huge weight off my chest, such a giant burden taken from me to tell him about my infidelity. However, I was not going to hurt Bret simply to ease my conscious. But there was a part of me that wanted to let this out so badly that I almost wept at the joyous thought of it.

   “Then what do you want? I’ll give you anything you ask for, just tell me.” His voice was hoarse, raspy with its desire and need.

   My throat ached with tears for him, for Bret. I didn’t want to hurt Cade either, but I suddenly realized that I was. “I don’t know Cade. I don’t even know what this is. I don’t even know if we’re going to be alive tomorrow morning. I know that I don’t want to hurt Bret, I just can’t, he deserves better. We, allof us, are all that we have right now. We need each other. We have to trust each other in order to survive. Bret is a good guy, he loves me, and I don’t want to betray his trust anymore than I already have.”

   “He does love you.” I had not expected Cade to say that he loved me too, there was no way that he could, but I hadn’t expected such a nonchalant confirmation like the one he gave.

   “He deserves better.”

   Cade frowned at me. “Then you?”

   I licked my lips nervously; my gaze darted anxiously toward the trees. He sighed softly as his fingers stroked over my face again. “Yes, he deserves far better than me. I’m so confused.”

   “I’m not. There is no better than you.”

   Before I could protest his statement he was kissing me again. His arms were around me and I was no longer confused, I suddenly knewwhere I belonged. It was the oddest, most bewildering, and most wonderful feeling I had ever experienced. How could I feel like this for someone I hardly knew? How could this feel so right and good, when it would only hurt people?