Ravenous

   I closed my eyes, my hands fisted at my sides. Whatever the aliens were doing, whatever they were intent on they were really begi

   “Bethany.” I forced my eyes open. Bret was watching me with wide eyed worry. “Are you ok?”

   I wanted to be a better person for him, wanted to be the person he thought I was. I wanted to be kinder, more understanding, and more patient. I wanted to be happier, more giving, and more faithful. I wanted to show some sort of emotion, other than fury right now, but I couldn’t. I was none of those things, yet Bret was certain that I was. I hated to disappoint him, but I didn’t know how to be anything different. I had tried to be that person for him for the past few months, I truly had, but it was impossible for me. I thought that if he understood things would be different between us, but he didn’t, and they weren’t.

   In fact I was fairly certain he wouldn’t want anything to do with the person I truly was, because he was just too good to understand that person, and the darkness that resided within me. I was a survivor, I was a fighter, and I was hard. It was the first time I admitted that fact to myself, but it was true. I was cold and I was hard. I had thought that it was the death of my father that had caused me to be this way, but I was slowly begi

   Yes, I had watched my father die. Yes, I had been young and defenseless. But we were defenseless now, and yet I still sensed more humanity in them than I did in myself. What was wrongwith me? Why couldn’t I be like them?

   My gaze finally went to Cade. For the first time I was able to look at him. The duffel bag with the guns was slung over his shoulder, his hand rested against the strap. Cade was a wealth of mystery and confusion to me that I wasn’t sure I would ever understand. Yet, as his dark eyes landed upon me, I knew, with unfailing certainty that he understood me completely. He saw inside of me and knewwhat kind of person I was.

   He saw my many flaws, and for some strange reason he didn’t mind them. He saw the depths of my imperfections, the intensity of my coldness, and he understood it. I was suddenly struck by the realization that I didn’t know what was worse. Being completely understood and accepted for my many defects, or constantly trying to prove that I did not have them, that I was a better person than I actually was.

   Was it better to be accepted for being an awful human being, or to have someone believe that I was something better than I was?

   Cade’s eyes narrowed, his head tilted to the side. Displeasure flashed across his features, his hand tightened on the strap around his chest. The moonlight hit his onyx eyes turning them nearly blue in the bright light.

   “Bethany?”

  “I’m fine,” I responded as I turned my attention back to Bret.

   “Maybe we should stop.”

   “We need to keep moving.”

   “Keep moving where?” Je

   “Somewhere.” Though I had no idea where. I just knew that we could not sit still. If we stopped we were sitting ducks.

   “Somewhere is not an answer!” she retorted sharply. “We need to have somewhere to go; just roaming aimlessly around is doing nothing for any of us! We need to find somewhere safe to hide!”

   “Oh, and since you know where all of those places are, why don’t you just tell us where to go!” I snapped back.

   Je

   “I’m not going inside again,” I responded at once.

   They all looked at me in surprise, even Cade seemed slightly taken aback. “Bethy…”

   “No Aiden. If you guys would like to find shelter, that is fine, but there is no way in hellI am going inside again. Not right now anyway,” I amended when I saw their distraught faces. I was not going inside again anytime soon, quite possibly never again, judging by the way I felt right now.

   “Well we have to find some place to hide!”

   Je

   “And we will,” Cade assured Je

   “The old lighthouse, only teens go there anymore. It will be safe,” Je

   “Nothing is safe anymore,” Abby whispered.

   Je

   “You really believe that a lighthouse, used to call in ships, set out on a Jetty that can be seen across the bay, is safer than the woods?” I asked incredulously.

   “I don’t hear you coming up with any ideas!” she practically wailed.

   “Our old tree house.”

   We all turned to Aiden. “What?” Bret asked.

   “Our old tree house,” Aiden responded excitedly, his brown eyes bright. “Our old house is on Cranberry Isle, the area has been built up over the past few years, but it’s still relatively private. Even more private is the tree house that Bethy and I built with our father when we were younger…”

   “You want us to hide in a tree house!?” Je

   I sighed loudly as I rolled my eyes. She was going to be my undoing, my snapping point, the end of my small tether on sanity. I was certain of it. I just wasn’t sure if it was because she was driving me crazy, or because Cade was trying to console her so much. A day ago the stupid ass had been kissing me, and being so kind and understanding that he had made me cry for the first time in years. Now, just a day later, he was all over Je

   I had a boyfriend, I reminded myself fiercely. Bretwas my boyfriend. To Cade, I had just been something to play with something to string along, and now it seemed he had set his sights on the far more beautiful, and pristine, Je

   I was angry at myself for believing there was some strange co

   I wanted to believe everything that I was telling myself, but the awful truth was that I wasjealous, and Cade had not taken anything from me that I had not willingly given to him. I could try and convince myself that what I felt for Cade was wrong and that he was a user, but I was not one to lie to myself. I never had been; I never would be. And I didn’t believe that Cade had just been toying with me. I didn’t know him well, but I knew that wasn’t the kind of man he was. He was too straightforward for that.