Sometimes It Lasts

“Eva?” Jeremy called my name as the screen door slammed shut behind him. I stopped watching Daddy as he walked across the back yard and walked to the front of the house to see Jeremy.

“Yeah,” I called out as I turned the corner into the kitchen. He was already fixing himself a glass of lemonade. He glanced over at me and frowned.

I knew that frown. He was here to talk. I wasn’t in the mood to talk.

“Cage coming back this afternoon?” he asked while pulling out a chair and flipping it around backwards before sitting in it.

“Yes. He went to get some more things from the apartment that I needed.” The guilt started eating at me again. I tried to ignore it but it was getting worse.

“You go

“I know that, Jeremy,” I snapped. Because I did know that. I didn’t need him to tell me that I was being selfish. That I was being needy. Cage had a future ahead of him. Going to Te

Jeremy sighed and sat his glass down on the table. “He isn’t go

I knew that too. I could see it in his eyes. I was going to have to force him to leave me. We could do long distance. Right now he didn’t need to be around me through this. I wasn’t me. I wasn’t myself. I would just drag him down with me. I looked over at Jeremy. “You’ll be here with me?” I asked. Because I couldn’t do this alone.

“I’m not going anywhere, Eva. You got me. I wasn’t wanting to go back anyway. You know that. But Cage… He wants to go. This is his chance. I know where I belong now and it’s here.”

It was times like these that it didn’t feel like Josh was gone. When Jeremy reminded me so much of the man I loved and lost. “Thank you.”

“It’s thick and thin, girl. It always has been,” he said with a sad smile.

He was right. We’d been through it all together. I looked out the window and watched as Daddy sat down on the tailgate of his farm truck to drink some water. He was refusing to stop living. This was what he wanted. As angry as I had been when I found out he was refusing to take treatments I couldn’t stay mad at him. It was his life. This was how he wanted his last days to go and I couldn’t take that from him.

“I love that man,” I said more to myself than anyone.

“He loves you too. You’re his world, Eva. You always have been,” Jeremy’s voice was laced with sadness. He loved my daddy too. It was hard not to.

“When Cage leaves tomorrow I’m go

“And I’ll be here,” he assured me.

“I’m going to go visit with Daddy,” I said as I stepped outside.

*

Daddy turned his head to see me walking toward him. A smile touched his face. Seeing that smile warmed me. He wasn’t smiling as much these days.

“Hey, Daddy,” I said as I pulled myself up to sit beside him on the tailgate.

“Hey, baby girl,” he replied and reached over to pat my knee.

“It’s hot out today. Normally doesn’t get this hot until July,” I said reaching for the ice towel in Daddy’s cooler and handing it to him. “Cool off.”

He didn’t argue. He took the towel and wiped his face and neck then rolled it up to rest on his neck. “Jeremy inside hiding?” Daddy asked with a grin.

“Probably,” I replied. He always accused Jeremy of hiding when he went to take a break and get a drink.

“Cage was go

Cage had been helping Daddy all week. It was as if it was last summer again… but it wasn’t. This time my dad was working with Cage and I was allowed near Cage… and my daddy was sick. “He should be back soon. He had to go take care of some things and get more of my things.” I trailed off because Daddy liked to try and talk me into leaving here when he got a chance.

He let out a weary sigh and I knew he was about to say something he knew I didn’t want to hear. I prepared myself for him telling me I needed to leave again. “I know you want to stay with me. I understand it. And honestly I’m glad you do. I want to spend as much time with you as I can. You’re the most important thing in my life. You know that right?”

I wasn’t going to cry. I couldn’t do that to him. He needed to talk and I had to be strong enough to let him. I nodded instead.

“Good. ‘Cause I need to say something that you’re not go

Daddy and Jeremy had always thought alike. I should have known this was bothering Daddy, too. It warmed my heart to know my daddy was thinking of Cage’s best interest. Not just mine. I wanted my daddy to love Cage too.

“I’m talking to him tonight. He’ll be going tomorrow. I’m not giving him a choice. I’m not breaking things off. We will just do the long distance thing.”

Daddy didn’t say anything more. He reached over and took my hand in his. We sat there and looked out over the fields in silence. I knew we were both thinking about the future neither of us wanted to talk about. I couldn’t imagine a future without Daddy in it. I wasn’t ready to talk about it.

“The day you were born your momma handed you to me and said with that saucy smile of hers, ‘You didn’t get that boy you wanted but I’m willing to bet that this little girl will own you before we even get her home.’” Daddy chuckled and shook his head. “She was right. I never imagined someone so small could control me so completely. When you were learning to walk I swear each time you fell down I fell to my knees with you. When you first said Dada I cried like a baby. Then the day I had to take you to kindergarten and you held onto my leg. I was so tempted to pick you up and run back home where you were safe and happy. Josh and Jeremy had shown up and eased you away from me. But I’d gone home and cried again. I was the first parent in line to pick you up at the end of the day. You were all pigtails and smiles. You chattered the whole way home about playdough and story time. You hated nap time something fierce.” He stopped and let out another low chuckle.

“I love you, Daddy,” I managed to whisper through the lump in my throat.

“I love you too, baby girl.”

CAGE

I waited for Eva to speak first. She’d been quiet through di

She stopped walking when we got to the swing down behind the barn. We were out of viewing distance from any window in the house. That made me ease up a little. I didn’t want to have to worry about upsetting Wilson. Because I sure as hell wasn’t go