Страница 57 из 71
He acted all right. She wished she knew what to say about Dussad and mainday shift, that had been NG's—and Cassel's. She wished she knew what was going on in his head and she wished she had Musa here, to talk to NG, if nothing else. Or Bernstein. Bernie could get through to him. She wasn't sure she could, she wasn't sure she wanted to get into the topic with him at all.
DamnDussad. Hughes had stayed out of it, Hughes had to be taking all of it in and wanting to say something—and there was no doubt he would be saying something, in the bars and up and down dockside for five days, causing as much damage as he could, dropping stuff in ears he knew would be receptive, and in a liberty, down to the last day, the shifts mixed.
Damn, she wanted to be out there. Most of all she wanted NG out there in Musa's keeping, not on-ship, brooding on things, working alone while his partner was off doing what she couldn't let him know—
She ought to tell NG, hadto tell him sooner or later what was going on, and alone on the alterday watch might have been a decent time to do it, except for Dussad and that damn woman from mainday—Thomas, she thought it was, A
must be something in the mindset; while Dussad, out of Cargo, was a hard-nosed hard-sell sonuvabitch, but you couldn't fault him too much—just want to bust his damn thick skull, was all. "Eyes up!" NG yelled from overhead. "Fragiles!"
They weren't the only crew missing liberty: Parker and Merrill were on mainday duty in Engineering, and Dussad and Hassan just had a partial, going out to the suppliers' and dealing for the ship, with whatever spare time they were efficient enough to gain; while Wayland and Williams were on a three-day pass, having to come back and supervise the supply loading, and a lucky handful of bridge crew, rotating off-ship for sleep and whatever rec-time they could squeeze in, was responsible for the fill, indicator-watching, mostly, and communication with Thule Central—an ops routine she knew, for once, the intricacies of cables and hoses, the names of the lines and what the hazards were—
learned it because you'd always had to worry about sabotage, in the war, and when Africawas in dock, the squad was always out there in full kit, checking the hook-ups, posting guard—
Dammit.
She kept remembering. She didn't want to. There were those dead rigs topside, waiting for her, like ghosts—
And NG was going to ask questions, NG had a natural right to ask questions about where she was going every day, and why.
They had the night, at least. "I'm not making love in any hammock," she said to NG, setting up, having consulted Parker and Merrill via com on what was going to be quarters for four people, alternately, in the main stowage—so they just spread their two hammocks down for padding on the stowage deck, and, it turned out during the set-up, got themselves a brand-new bottle of vodka when Walters and some of the guys showed up to pay off the fetch-downs.
"You sure ain't missing much," Walters delayed to say to them. "Place is dead, places are closed up, about two bars and a skuzzy sleepover still open, and that's it. Nothing alive out there but echoesc"
Made her feel sad, for some odd reason, maybe just that it was a slice out of her life, however miserable, maybe that there was something spooky about it now, knowing a piece of humankind was dying, the dark was coming just like they'd said, taking the first bases humans had made leaving Sol System.
Like those names in the restroom they just painted over. Polaris, and Golden Hind.
God, Musa could probably remember Thule in its heyday.
And came back, a crewman on an FTL, to see it die.
"Bet?" NG asked her, nudged her arm, when the lock-door had shut, when Joh
the War, and all, they'll paint right over, like it never was, like none of us ever died—
Mazian doesn't see it. Still fighting the war—
Hell. What'swi
She felt NG's hand on her shoulder. She kept seeing Thule docks, Ritterman's apartment, the Registry—
The nuclear heat of Thule's dim star.
Curfew rang.
Walters' vodka, bed, privacy, all the beer they could reasonably drink and all the frozen sandwiches they could reasonably eat, out of Services, next door.
Wasn't too bad, she decided, putting tomorrow out of her mind, the way she had learned to do. Just take the night, get her and NG fuzzed real good—
Tell him later. The man deserved a little time without grief.
So they ate the sandwiches with a beer, chased them with vodka, made love.
Didn't need the pictures. Didn't need anything. NG was civilized, terribly careful of her back—
Not worth worrying about, she said. And got rowdy and showed him a trick they used to do down in the 'decks, her and Bieji.
"God," he said. He ran his hand over the back of her neck.
Nobody else had that touch. Nobody else ever made her shiver like that. Nobody else, ever.
Hewas the one who got claustrophobicc but for a second she couldn't breathe.
Here and now, Yeager. This ship.
This man. This partner.
"You all right?" he asked.
"Fine," she said, and caught the breath, heavy sigh. "I just can't get stuff out of my mind."
He worked on that problem. Did tolerably good at it after a minute or two, till she was doing real deep breathing and thinking real near-term.—One thing with NG, he didn't question much, and he knew the willies on a first-name basis. Knew what could cure them for a while, too.
She said, somewhere after, when she found the courage: "Bernstein just left me this nasty little list of stuff, topside, seems I'm the mechanic and you got the boards." She tried to say what it was. And had another attack of pure, despicable cowardice. Couldn't trust it. Couldn't predict what he'd do. Didn't want a blow-up til she'd gotten a day or so alone with him, softened him up, got an idea what was going on with him. "I hate it like hell. You're going to be alone down there."
"Been alone before," he said. "Been alone on port-calls for years."
He didn't ask what the work was. She told herself that if he had asked she would have gone ahead and spilled it right then. But he didn't. Wasn't even curious.
Thank God.
CHAPTER 24
MS. YEAGER," Wolfe said, when she arrived on the bridge and looked around for the mof-in-charge. The captain was not who she was looking to find.
"Sir," she said, and by way of explanation: "Mr. Orsini—"
Wolfe nodded. "Go to it, Ms. Yeager."
"Thank you, sir." She gave a bob of the head and took herself and her tool-kit to the number one topside stowage, where she could draw an easier breath.
It wasn't Fitch in charge, thank God, thank God.
Not Fitch in charge anywhere else on the ship, she hoped, but there was no way to find that out without asking, and she didn't figure asking was real politic. Mofs were handling the matter, mofs had their ways of saving face, and if Fitch wason board he was going to be twice touchy if they had him under any hands-off orders regarding her.
Couldn't push it. Didn't even dare worry about it.
So she got down to work, clambered up the inset rungs to set a 200 kilo expansion track between two locker uprights, hooked a pulley in, ran a cable and a couple of hooks into the service rings of the better of the two rigs, and hauled the thing up where she could work without fighting it.