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Ilisidi slowed and stopped ahead of him, where the trail began a downward pitch again.
“From this place,” Ilisidi said, waving her hand to the view ahead, “you can see three provinces, Maidingi, Didaini, Taimani. How do you regard my land?”
“Beautiful,” he said honestly.
“ My land, nand’ paidhi.”
Nothing Ilisidi said was idle, or without calculation.
“Your land, nai-ji. I confess I resisted being sent to Malguri. I thought it remote from my duties. I was mistaken. I wouldn’t have known about the dragonettes otherwise. I wouldn’t have ridden, in all my life.” In the moment, he agreed inside with what he was saying, enjoying his brief respite from Banichi, Jago, and sane responsibility, enjoying—the atevi attitude was contagious—his chance to push the restrictions under which the paidhi necessarily lived and conducted business. “But Banichi will kill me when I get back.”
Ilisidi looked askance at him, and the corners of her mouth tightened.
Literal atevi minds. “Figuratively speaking, nai-ji.”
“You’re sure of my grandson.”
Disquieting question. “Should I have doubt, nai-ji?” Ilisidi was certainly the one to ask, but one couldn’t trust the answer. No one knew Ilisidi’s man’chi, where it lay. She had never made it clear, at least that he knew, and, presumably, if Banichi or Jago knew, they would have told him.
But no more did he know where Tabini’s was. That was always the way with aijiin—that they had none, or had none in reach of their subordinates.
“Tabini’s a steady lad,” Ilisidi said. “Young. Very young. Tech solves everything.”
A hint of her thoughts and her motives? He wasn’t sure. “Even the paidhi doesn’t maintain that to be the case, nai-ji.”
“Doesn’t the Treaty forbid—I believe this was your insistence—interference in our affairs?”
“That it does, nai-ji.” Dangerous ground. Very dangerous ground. Hell if this woman was as fragile as she looked. “Have I seemed to do contrary things? Please do me the kindness of telling me so.”
“Does my grandson tell you so?”
“If he told me I was interfering, I do swear to you, nai-ji, I would certainly reconsider my actions.”
She said nothing for a space. It left him, riding beside her in the windy silence, to think anxiously whether anything he had said or done or supported in the various councils could be controversial, or as the dowager hinted, interfere in atevi affairs, or push technology too fast.
“Please, aiji-ji. Be blunt. Am I opposing or advancing a position with which you disagree?”
“What a strange question,” Ilisidi said. “Why should I tell you that?”
“Because I would try to find out your reasons, nai-ji, not to oppose your interests, not to preempt your resources—but to avoid areas of your extreme interest. Let me recall to you, we don’t use assassins, nai-ji. That’s not even a resource for us.”
“But they are, for atevi who may support you in your positions.”
He’d heard that argument before. He could get around it with Tabini. He longed after Tabini’s company, he longed only to ask him, forthrightly to learn things… that no one else was telling him lately.
And as now and again in the hours since he’d come to Malguri, he suffered another of those moments of dislocation—at one instant convinced that things were all right, and then, with no particular reason, doubting that, and recalling how completely he was isolated, more isolated than the paidhi had ever been from his resources.
“Forgive my question,” he said to Ilisidi. “But the paidhi isn’t always wise enough to understand his position in your affairs. I hope for your good opinion, nai-ji.”
“What do you hope to accomplish in your tenure?”
He hadn’t expected that question. But he’d answered it, repeatedly, in councils. “An advancement for atevi and humans, nai-ji. An advancement, a step toward technological equality, at a pace which won’t do harm.”
“That’s a given, isn’t it? By the Treaty, a dull and tedious given. Be less modest. Name the specific, wondrous thing you’d have done before you die… the gift you wish most, in your great wisdom, to bestow on us.”
He didn’t think it a harmless question. He could name certain things. He honestly didn’t have a clear answer.
“I don’t know,” he said.
“What, the paidhi without a notion what he wishes to do?”
“A step at a time, nai-ji. I don’t know what may be possible. And telling you… would in itself violate the principles…”
“The most ambitious thing you’ve ever advanced.”
“The rail system.”
“Pish. We invented the rail. You improved it.”
That was true, though atevi trains and steamships had been only the most rudimentary design, and boilers had burst with frightening regularity.
“So what more, paidhi? Rockets to the moons? Travel amongst the stars?”
A far more dangerous topic. “I’d like, yes, to see atevi at least reach that threshold in my lifetime. Nai-ji, so much is possible from there. So much you could do then. But we aren’t sure of the changes that would make, and I want to understand what would result. I want to give good advice. That’s my job, nai-ji.” He had never himself seen it so clearly, until now. “We’re at the edge of space. And so much changes once you can look down on the world.”
“What changes?”
One more dangerous question, this one cultural and philosophical. He looked outward, at the lake, the whole world seeming to lie below the path they rode.
“Height changes your perspective, nai-ji. We see three provinces from here. But my eye can’t see the treaty-boundaries.”
“Mine can. That mountain ridge. The river. They’re quite evident.”
“But were this mountain as high as the great moon, nai-ji, and if were you born on this very high mountain, would you see the lines? Or, if you saw them, would they mean to you what they mean to people born on the plain, these distant, invisible lines?”
“ Man’chiis man’chi. Man’chiis important. And to a dweller on the border—what meaning, these lines aijiin agree on? Man’chiis never visible.”
It was gratifying to expect the answer one got, the same that Tabini inevitably gave. It was gratifying to think one did accurately forecast atevi sentiments. It was useful to know about Ilisidi.
“So that wouldn’t change,” he said. “Even if you stood on the highest mountain.”
“ Man’chiwould never change,” Ilisidi said.
“Even if you left the sight of the world for years and years.”
“In hell and on earth, man’chiwould not change. But you don’t understand this, you humans.” Babs struck a slight rise, and for a moment walked solitary, until Nokhada caught up. Ilisidi dowager said, “Or you never tell your enemies, if you do change.”
That, too, was in the machimi plays. The catastrophic event, the overturning of a life’s understandings. But always toward the truth, as he saw it. Always toward what man’chishould have been.
Ilisidi offered no explanation of her remark. Perhaps he was supposed to have asked something wise. But imagination failed him.
“We truthfully didn’t understand your view of things, nai-ji, when we first arrived. We didn’t understand atevi. You didn’t understand us. That’s one of the great and unfortunate reasons of the War.”
“The unfortunate reason of the War was humans taking Mospheira, to which they had no right. It was hundreds of thousands of atevi dislodged from their homes. It was man’chibroken, because we couldn’t deal with your weapons, nand’ paidhi.” The dowager’s voice wasn’t angry, only severe, and emphatic. “And slowly you raise us up to have technology, and more technology. Does this not seem a foolish thing to do?”
Not the first time he’d met that question, either. Atevi asked it among themselves, when they thought the paidhi would hear no report of their discussion. Thwarted councillors shouted it at the paidhi in council. Not even to Tabini could he give the untranslatable, the true answer: We thought we could make you our friends.