Love Unrehearsed

I shook my head. “No, I don’t. But apparently your people think differently.”

Ryan’s lips squashed together in frustrated anger. He pushed his hair back, scratching his head, venting his anger in an audible huff. I knew that one wasn’t because of me.

“I’d never take from you regardless.”

His shoulders dropped. “That’s why I want to give you everything.”

My breath hitched. “I already have the part that I want. Love is priceless.”

He came over to the table, pulled out the chair next to me, and sat down, our knees touching.

“You have a lot of other stakeholders concerned about your bottom line, Ryan. Even agreements for our wedding photos and stuff, like you said. All of those things; it all has to be legal.”

Ryan took my hand in his. “You need to realize that I’d cut them all loose before I’d risk losing you.”

I leaned into the other hand cupping my cheek. “I want you to feel safe with me forever, even if that means signing something to give you that.”

“Tar, I know you’re not a taker. You’re the most giving person I’ve ever known.” His frown softened. “I do not want that kind of paper looming between us.”

“Escape clause,” I muttered.

“What?”

“Escape clause. It outlines how everything gets divvied up in the event of a divorce. Did you know that Marie and Gary are fighting over who gets to keep the TVs and dishes?”

Ryan sighed, disgusted. His eyes met mine. “And you think that might happen between us.”

I felt my head shake, but facts were facts. “I’m watching my best friend get her heart torn out and working on a new relationship at the same time while arguing about who gets the toaster. She and Gary made it three years. I just don’t want you to ever worry about me taking your TV.”

He leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on my lips. “We are going to blend our lives together. We’re going to have a family. But I’m not starting our marriage with a paper that outlines how we end it. Family is important to me. Baby, we will go to counseling to straighten our shit out before we start picking fights over a damn toaster.”

“You really mean that?”

“I do. Taryn, I know being in a relationship with me comes with an entire set of stressors that normal people never have to deal with. But you cut that away and I’m still me. I’m just a man.”

“I know.” I drew in a deep breath. “The prenup thing really surprised me.”

“It threw me, too. And you’re right. We need to talk about all of this. And if you need me to put it in writing that I’ll never stray, then that’s what I’ll do.”

Mom’s quips of wisdom flooded my thoughts. “No. I don’t need that, because I know that inside, my man has a heart of gold.”

Knowing he was fully invested in our relationship made all the difference in the world.

Chapter 19

Roots

“And this lovely lady is my crazy cousin Sha

He hoisted Sha

“Ah! Ryan! Put me down!” Sha

It was so magnificent to see Ryan so relaxed and happy, seeing his extended family again. I couldn’t stop smiling.

“And who is this handsome young man?” Ryan asked, patting the head of an adorable little boy. He must have been around seven or eight, holding a black skater’s helmet in his hand.

“That’s Caden,” Sha

Ryan looked stu

Caden regarded Ryan with a scrutinizing gaze. “You look like that guy who’s in that movie my mom likes so much.”

Sha

Ryan crossed his arms. “You telling me that your mommy likes my movie? This lady, right here? The one who told me that I was wrong for the part?”

Sha

Ryan rolled with the punch, obviously loving this information way too much.

“Oh, yeah. Aunt Nancy and Aunt Stacy, they come over and watch it a lot. Aunt Nancy boos every time that girl, Gwen, comes on the TV, though.”

“Caden!” Sha

“Mom, I’m hungry. When are the hot dogs going to be ready?” Caden asked.

“Mom, I want a hot dog, too. And can I go in the pool?” an adorable little blond girl asked, tugging on Sha

The pool sounded like a good idea. July in Pittsburgh was hot.

“Soon, baby. Say hi to Ryan and Taryn. They’re going to get married. This is my daughter, Lauren,”

Sha

Just hearing that name made me flinch. But this adorable child and the evil Lauren that I knew were polar opposites.

As I glanced around the yard and patio loaded with smiling people I was overwhelmed by how large Ryan’s immediate family was. His mother, Ellen, was one of five, all sisters, each of whom had several children and grandchildren. And on his father’s side, Bill Christensen was one of three. Even Ryan’s eighty-two-year-old grandfather, Nels Christensen, was there, congratulating Ryan on his “beautiful choice.”

I ended up at the long table on the patio after being introduced to more aunts, uncles, cousins, and kids. We’d already been asked several times as to when we were getting married and received numerous suggestions on everything from churches to caterers to what type of flowers are best. Thoughts alone from having to plan and decide on all of these details were enough to send me into a small panic.

I envisioned Ryan’s side of the church tilting over, filled to the rafters with his boisterous family, while my side had maybe two dozen poor souls clinging to the pews and several rows of crickets. My mother only had one brother, Bobby, and a sister. I hadn’t heard from Aunt Joan since I had called her to tell her I knew about my birth parents. Uncle Bobby was living in Texas—we never saw him. My dad had his brother, Al, and they had two kids. That was it.

Suddenly, I felt alone.

Ryan sat next to me in his wet swim trunks, his plate overflowing with food, a stacked hamburger I was sure was painted with ketchup and mayo balancing precariously on top of the pile. I drifted my fingers over the droplets of water that clung to his sun-kissed shoulder, loving the simplicity of our engagement party. His parents could have easily made this into an uncomfortable affair, hiring caterers and servers, but to my relief this was a good old-fashioned family barbecue. His dad and other random men worked the grill while all of the women clustered to make their famous macaroni salad or swap recipes for the forty different types of pies and cookies on display. Life was simply wonderful.

“Have you given any thought to when you’re going to get married?” his aunt Rita asked. She had a short silver hairdo and that healthy glow that comes from living a carefree flip-flops life in the Florida Keys. She and her husband flew up here just for our party. Her cute little Yorkie pup named Katie was perched attentively on her lap.

Ryan was double-fisting his burger. I saw him glance in my direction.

“We’ve looked at some dates but we’ve been so busy that we haven’t really discussed it. Maybe next year. His schedule is quite hectic.” There. That ought to be good enough.

Aunt Rita pursed her lips, showing a hint of antipathy. “See, that’s the problem with being a celebrity.

You all put your careers in front of your relationships. That’s why most of the marriages are a farce. She films, he films, and no one has time to tend to the marriage.”