Love Unscripted

Day. If his mother weren’t here, they would have gone in the trash, but Ellen found my crystal vase and spent a few minutes fussing with them.

“You know this is tough on him too,” she uttered, setting the rose arrangement on my dining table. “He is suffering along with you.”

I knew she wanted me to see his side through my self-centered focus, but I was still so angry with him that I was only worried about protecting

myself now. He obviously didn’t care enough to protect my reputation so I was on my own.

Ellen sprayed polish on a rag and started dusting my furniture. Something made her smile.

“Do you remember that time when Ryan called his father from here and told him that you took him fishing?” She turned to look at me.

“Yes,” I answered her, recalling that evening quite clearly.

“He called me later that night when he got back to his hotel.” She smiled. “He was so elated! He said, ‘Mom, I found the woman I’m going to

marry!’ Of course I was thrilled for him, but as his mother I was also concerned. I mean he had only known you for a few weeks, but he was so sure

right from the very start. Taryn, you know he loves you more than anything in this world, don’t you?”

Her guilt trip was working. I tried to hold firm to my reasons for feeling betrayed so my position in this fight would be validated, but her one-sided

conversation was pecking at my resolve. I started to feel like crap for being mad at him.

“He said last night that he feels completely responsible for the accident. After all, it was one of his demented fans that terrorized you, and you

were on your way to see him when he couldn’t be here.”

“It’s not his fault,” I muttered. “He shouldn’t think that.”

“But he does,” she assured me. “He cried so hard last night when I talked to him.” Her voice trembled with pain and remorse.

“He… he said he killed his baby.” Her hand covered her quivering lips when she spoke the words, stifling her urge to cry out loud. Ellen quickly

dropped the dust rag and shielded her face in her hands when her tears broke.

Tears of my own cracked again and I watched her hurry away to the bathroom through my blurry eyes.

He didn’t kill our baby – I did. I was the heinous monster.

“Taryn, I’m so sorry,” Ryan breathed in the phone when he answered my call.

I couldn’t stop crying. I never knew I had so many tears to shed in one lifetime.

Chapter 32 – Downward Spirals

I turned my laptop off when I had enough. New pictures were posted on the Internet of Ryan coming out of

the back door of some exclusive club in Miami. His eyes were glazed over and he looked wasted, which

angered me. Seeing gorgeous Lauren Delaney smiling in the same picture, just two steps behind Ryan,

scorched my heart. Viewing the photos of Ryan guiding Lauren into the same car so they could head back to

their hotel just about sent me over the edge.

He’d been partying a lot lately since my accident. Late night cast di

binges, private outings with Lauren, and his denials of it all over the telephone were piling up on me.

Photos from the set were leaked and posted all over the Internet as well. Clear shots of Ryan playing with

Lauren’s rings on her fingers, sitting so close that you couldn’t slide a sheet of paper between them made me

crack into tears. It was hard to discern what interaction between them was for the film and what was… not.

And then there was the kissing...

The pictures of his lips on hers over and over again surrounded by words like “Rekindled Love” and

“Ryan dumps Taryn Mitchell for old flame” made me deranged.

Ryan had informed me on several occasions that Lauren had a boyfriend, but every piece of photographic

evidence pointed to that being complete bull. I wanted so badly to believe him. Some days I did; some days

my faith wavered. It didn’t help that all the tabloid websites stated that her relationship with Lucas Banks was

over.

This absence from being in his presence drove the wedge deeper and deeper. Just knowing that he was

spending so much intimate time with the last woman he had a relationship with before me was terrifying.

Every day he told me he loved me. Every day that we were apart seemed to last an eternity.

I had asked my doctor for a prescription refill, using the excuse that I was still in pain. Even though my

body was healing, my mind was in pain. I was also starting to like the way the combination of antidepressants

and narcotics made me feel numb.

Ryan was dealing with his own pain, drowning his misery in alcohol. I feared that he would slip and seek

comfort in another woman’s arms – someone who wasn’t the source of his woes.

Ellen finally flew back to Pittsburgh. She had stayed with me for over two weeks, but she had to get back

home and back to ru

her to stay. As much as I loved her, she was starting to get on my nerves.

As soon as she cleared out, Tammy moved into the guestroom.

There were quite a few moments when I had the overwhelming urge to get on a plane and fly down to

Florida to see just what the hell was going on down there, but I couldn’t. My ribs were still bruised, my arm

was in a cast, and I didn’t have medical clearance to fly.

The large black and blue marks on my face were healing, diminished to a most unpleasant yellow tinge to

my skin.

My body and face had been covered quite extensively in road rash. Many spots were scraped and

bruised… even my scalp. Those too, were healing.

And then there was the acute agoraphobia to deal with. Angelica was still on the loose, paparazzi still

lurked around the corners, and I looked like shit from getting hit by a car. It certainly made hiding inside my

apartment the most appealing of all options.

Through all of this, there was still one story that hurt more than any of them – and it was the biggest lie of

them all. Articles were written and circulated all around the globe that said I tried to trap Ryan Christensen by

getting pregnant.

My supposed failed attempt at trapping him was reported as the reason why he went ru

Lauren’s arms. It was so far from the actual truth, yet people were even talking about it on television. I was a

gold-digging, small town piece of trash who tried to use a superstar to get somewhere in life.

And here I thought I had it bad when Thomas dumped me. That was a bee sting in comparison to having

the moon fall out of the sky and land conveniently on my head.

Marie and Cory were ru

couch in a haze.

“Taryn?” Marie called out as she came through my door. She and Tammy both had their own keys to my

apartment now. “Kyle is downstairs. He says he has something he wants to give you.” Her expression was

worried.

I thought I had seen the last of Kyle when I told him goodbye, but he still continued to drift in and out of my

life. I was very apprehensive about seeing him again; part of me feared him.

Tammy led the way down the steps to make sure I wouldn’t fall.

Kyle was sitting at a booth by himself; a brown bag was on the seat next to his hip. My two best friends

stood behind the bar, watching his every move.

“Hi,” he said curtly. “Look, I know you probably don’t want to see me, but I got some things for you - it

would make me feel a lot better if I knew you were safe.”

I nervously sat down and rested my cast on the tabletop.

“I got you some stuff.” He opened the bag. “Things you can keep in your purse or wherever, just in case.”