Love Unscripted

nodded his head in Scott’s direction. “Francesca is sweet and I’d never do that to her. But I would like to see her again. And she wants to see me

too, so…” Cory shrugged.

“Just keep it private. That’s all I ask. We’re all under the microscope now,” I stressed my point.

“I will. Hey, sorry I can’t stay to help clean up. I’ve got to get some sleep. I’ll see you at four,” Cory said, putting his sunglasses back on. “Oh, and

before I forget, I already talked to my roommate. He’ll cover the door tonight.”

“Did Cory leave?” Ryan asked me a few moments later.

I nodded.

“Damn. I wanted to talk to him too.”

I whispered to Ryan. “I talked to him. I reminded him to keep his personal business private and discreet. You may want to talk with Matt and

Laura about confidentiality as well.”

“I already did.” A tiny smile cracked on his lips.

The early afternoon flew by quickly. It took us several hours to clean up the mess and I mopped all the floors and even cleaned the bathrooms.

Ryan suggested several times that I hire a company to clean the bar every day but I was used to taking care of the grunt work on my own.

Scott passed out in the guestroom upstairs; guess he didn’t sleep much last night either. Ryan, Matt, and Laura were lounging in the living room,

watching television. I logged on to the Internet.

“What are you doing, Honey?” Ryan’s tone indicated his disappointment.

“Checking up on things.”

“Why are you looking?” he groaned, concerned.

I flashed my eyes up to him and kept my reply quiet. “Because your public image is my concern too. Before I forget to tell you, Francesca and

Suza

Ryan didn’t answer. He just walked away.

I clicked a link and was directed to a gossip magazine’s website. The headline “Ryan Christensen’s Love Affairs” caught my attention. The site

had side-by-side pictures of Ryan and Suza

Manhattan di

I clicked another link and was now viewing pictures of Ryan kissing, smiling, leaning on, and holding Suza

affair was still going strong.

I hit the back button and clicked on another link – this one described my new bodyguard, Kyle, being the new man in my life and how Ryan was

furious and jealous. There was a picture of Kyle and me entering the back door of my pub together. The article posted a random picture of Ryan

looking angry next to it. All meant to generate shock, I supposed. The story made it sound like I was cheating on Ryan.

The last click I made showed a picture of Ryan and Suza

Suza

I jumped when Ryan popped his head next to mine.

“Turn it off before I throw the damn laptop out the window,” he whispered his angry threat in my ear.

I quickly closed the Internet co

bedroom.

He shoved the door closed behind him with extra force and glared at me.

“How long have you been surfing the web like that?” he growled between his gritted teeth.

I didn’t answer. His anger caught me off-guard.

“Why the hell are you looking up shit on the Internet? Do you need more reasons in your head not to trust me?”

“Please keep your voice down. We have guests, remember? I’m sorry,” I whispered. I felt terrible that I upset him.

“I am trying so damn hard to make sure our relationship stays on track, knowing full well that we have more obstacles than most. And then I see

you doing that shit! What the fuck, Taryn?”

I didn’t know how to fully explain my actions. “I was curious to see what the public was being told.” I was so ashamed my words were barely

audible. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”

“What else do you need to know? This is our life, right here! It’s happening right now! I am standing in this room with you. I’m not out there in

those pictures. I don’t give a damn what the public is being told!”

“What if the situation was reversed and the magazines were printing stories that I’m some whore who’s screwing three different guys at once.

You don’t think that would concern you?” I asked.

“But you’re not! And I certainly am not doing what they accuse me of. I have no control over what trash they print.”

“Yes, you do.” I thought about several ways he could get the point across to the world that he was a one-woman kind of man, that he in fact was

currently involved with just one woman, but he’d have to make that move on his own.

“How?” Ryan barked.

I chickened out and bit my tongue. “I thought you had a publicist?” I stated calmly.

He scoffed. “If all those Seaside fans want to fantasize that I’m actually living the shit that’s filmed, that me and Suza

lovers, what am I supposed to do about it? Put out a public statement that they’re all deluded?” He threw his hands up in the air.

“And that picture of me and that girl from New York, that little picture is going to still pop up years from now. Those trash magazines are going to

say that I’m cheating on you with her one day!”

He took a deep breath. “You have to realize that some of that shit is printed specifically to generate public reaction. They will post pictures of me

and Suza

stuff that might upset you just to pique public interest. It’s all part of the game.”

He sat down on the bed, facing me. “Honey, our relationship has to be built on trust. That stuff is just going to tear it down.”

I looked down at my hands. He was right; my behavior was incorrigible but I wasn’t alone there.

He took my hand and pressed it to his chest. “This… this is real.”

“So if your PR team asks you to screw some actress to pique public interest, is that what you’re willing do to keep your career controversial? I

just want to be clear on how far you’re willing to go.”

His tone was angry and sarcastic. “Yes, Taryn. I’m going to throw away our relationship, forget that I’m in love with you, and screw every woman

that throws her legs up in the air. Is that what you want to hear? Is that what you need to believe that I truly am? Just like your ex-fiancé? That I’m no

different from every other asshole who has ever cheated on you?”

I looked away and winced from the sting of his words. That was a low blow but in a way I deserved it. Pain cracked in my chest and the tears of

shame formed in my eyes.

He stood up from the bed and knelt down on the floor in front of me.

“I’m not them, Tar. I don’t know what else to do to make you have faith in me. Why don’t you trust me?”

“I do trust you,” I muttered, wiping the tear from my cheek. “This whole conversation has nothing to do with trust. There are just so many other

influences out there. It’s hard to keep up with it all.” I looked him in the eyes.

“Ryan, your life is public. I want to know what’s being said about you. I want to protect you from all the daggers that are flying in your direction.

Shield you from the lies.” I picked a tissue out of the box on the nightstand and wiped my face.

“You can’t protect me from it - you’re way outnumbered,” he said, defeated.

I took a deep breath. “It’s more than that. The other reason I look is, sometimes I feel like I’m living with two people… the man I’m in love with and