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Cherise stopped at one and ordered us all margaritas.
I dont think this is the time, I said, but she pressed the glass into my hands firmly.
Sweetie, this is exactly the time to drink, she said. We survived, right? Were heading home? Definitely happy hour, from now until, oh, ever after. She clinked glasses with me, then David, and led us out a side door onto the deck of the ship. We didnt much feel like celebrating, but it was tough to resist Cher when she was in a mood like this.
And she was right about taking us outside. It was beautiful.
Hard to believe that wed spent the last few weeksno, months? years?under such strain, facing such dire circumstances. When wed sailed out of Miami, wed done it in the teeth of a monstrous storm.
Today the sun was warm and kind, the sky a rich, clean-scrubbed blue. The breeze that blew in off the waves was gentle as it glided over my bare arms. The sea was calm; it glittered in diamond-bright swells, a sparkling fabric unrolled as far as the eye could see.
So beautiful.
David put his arm around me, and we stood there for a moment in silence, staring out at the vista. Cherise leaned on her forearms on the rail, smiling, turning her face up to the sun with an expression of pure delight.
Cher?
She turned at the sound of her name, and I glanced back to see Kevin coming at a run from a lower deck, taking the stairs two at a time. My relationship with Kevinthe youngest Warden we had, I believedwas complicated. He was complicated, more than most people I knew: damaged, and dangerous, and unpredictable, but still struggling to find and hold on to that core of goodness that against all odds survived within him. Hed been through a lot, in hiswhat was it now, nineteen years? He was three years younger than Cherise, which seemed like a lot at their ages. But that didnt stop him from being head over heels in love with her.
Hey, Kev, she said, turning from the rail as he jumped to the top of the steps and lunged to grab her in a hug. She was a very small girl, and he was tall and lanky, putting on more muscle all the time. An odd couple, but also oddly appropriate for each other. Cherises unending optimism was something Kevin needed in his life, which had seen way too much darkness. She was laughing in bright, silvery peals as he spun her around in his arms. Whoa, whoa, easy, dont make me yak!
He stopped and let her go, but she didnt go farjust far enough to kiss him, with authority. David raised his eyebrows a little but said nothing. I wondered what he thought about it. I suspected he was just as wary as I was of Kevin, generally.
Youre okay? Kevin asked. Lewis said
Yeah, look, the Dji
Yes, you are.
She made a purring sound low in her throat and arched against him like a cat. Dont tease unless you mean it.
Oh, I Kevin suddenly stopped in midflirt, blinked, and looked at her with a baffled expression. David and I both turned to look at him. Cherise was just as baffled as Kevin, it seemed.
What? I asked, because it didnt seem like Cherise could even remember the word.
Kevin closed his eyes for a second, rubbed them, and opened them again. Relief spread across his face, and he shook his head. Nothing, he said. Jesus, Im tired. I thoughtits nothing. Im okay.
Cherise stepped forward and put her hand against his cheek, one of those loving gestures that I find myself doing to David so often. Kevin relaxed and bent toward her, covering her hand with his. Well, I said to David, theyve gotten cozy. Not really sure how I feel about that.
He acknowledged it with a nod, but I could tell his mind was elsewhere. Shadows in his eyes, weariness in his face. For the first time, it struck me that every minute he spent in a human bodya real human body, cut off from the Dji
David. I put a hand on his arm, and got his full focus. Are you okay? Do you need Lewis to
No mistaking the weary twist of his mouth. He hated being dependent on anyone, but hed have to face factshe couldnt draw enough power from me to fuel his life well, and Lewis was the best bet. But David didnt like being beholden to the first man Id ever loved. At all. Im fine, he said, voice u
I didnt believe him, but he wasnt asking me to, in so many words. It was the big lie, and he was asking me not to push it. David wasnt the kind to be reasonable about his limits; after spending mille
It wasnt the kind of thing hed thank me for pointing out, either.
Coordinating, I said, bringing us back to the dark center of things around which our lives revolved now. He really wanted to stick us with coordinating at headquarters.
That got a smile from him, if a brief one. Its not going to suit you if we have to do it.
Speak for yourself, Master ofI was about to say Dji
David drained the rest of his glass and dangled it from his fingers, staring down now into the sparkling waves. You sure you want it back?
Are you kidding me?
No, he said, and his voice had that odd, flat, soft inflection again, as if he were pressing all the emotion out of it with great care. Jo, think about it. We both want to be together, but weve always been of two worlds. I tried to make you part of mine, but that didnt work. Thisthis is a chance to make me part of yours.
I forgot all about the drink in my hand, the beautiful day, the laughter of Cherise and Kevin standing a few feet away, and fixed him with a disbelieving stare. David, youre dying.
Everyones dying, he said. Mortal life is short to someone like me even in the best case. If I dontresume my life as a Dji
We didnt talk about Imara very often; our Dji
David
Its not a good time, he finished for me, and he was right on, even though we no longer shared that deep supernatural bond that had made it so easy for him to read me. I know. But theres so little good about all this, Jo. We should take what we can, when we can, for as long as we can.
Im not having children just to watch them die, if this turns bad, I said, and somehow managed not to add, again. Imaras death, before shed been made an Oracle, was something that would haunt me forever. Were in trouble. Dont think I havent noticed.
You know what Ive learned from thousands of years of watching humanity? Its always a bad time. He put his arms around me and held me, and the simple warmth of it made me want to weep. I didnt. It wouldnt do for me to get all girly and soft on him now. But all the bad times end, too.
Thus sayeth the dude with a long view.
Dude?
Sorry, it was my bad eighties teen years coming back to haunt me.
He kissed me, as if he couldnt think of any more words. That was okay. It got the point across just fine.
It was very strange to be on the outskirts of the whirl-wind of activity inside the Wardensa bystander, like Cherise. Someone included me in some of the meetings, out of courtesy, but being outside of the direct flow of crisis information made me feel like I was just holding down a chair at the table. It was, in fact, a literal table, the biggest one on the ship, and it seated about twenty; I supposed they used it for swank corporate meetings on the high seas. Or really large families, with equally large checkbooks. Lewis sat at one end, looking down the long expanse of wood; around it, every chair was filled with some powerful Warden or other.