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He was entranced with the show, and I found myself watching him surreptitiously. He was a damn attractive man, though with a completely different kind of look than Rhyzkahl. Where Rhyzkahl was utterly beautiful and perfect, Ryan had more of a rugged, “man’s man” thing going on. He had a great mouth, too. What would it be like to have that mouth on mine? And damn, what I’d give to run my hand down his chest. A slow flush of warmth crept through me. Why did I have to be careful around him? That was absurd. It didn’t matter who or what he was. There was nothing at stake. Ryan was sexy as all hell, and the fact that I suspected he was a demonic lord only made him hotter.
Somewhere deep in the back of my mind I knew there was a good reason to keep Ryan in the “friend zone,” but it didn’t seem terribly important right now. Why hold myself back from what I wanted?
I shifted and reached to the back of his head, ru
“Kara…?”
“I like your hair,” I murmured, sliding my other hand across his thigh. His breath caught, and I smiled, enjoying his reaction. “I like all of you.” I moved in closer, shifting to nuzzle his neck. “You smell great.”
“Jesus, Kara.” His voice was suddenly rough, and his hands tightened into fists as a shudder ran through him. The scent of him wrapped around me, and I ran my tongue lightly up the side of his neck. “Kara, wait…are you sure—?”
I didn’t let him finish the sentence. Shifting quickly to straddle his hips, I kissed him, groaning softly as my tongue found his. He tasted great too, and now I wanted more.
His hands on my shoulders gently but firmly pushed me back, breaking the kiss. I couldn’t understand the expression on his face. I knew he wanted me too, so why would he look distressed? Maybe he simply wanted to be sure. “Fuck me, Ryan,” I breathed, grinding myself against him. I gave a throaty laugh. He did want me. Some things were obvious. “Come on. Right here. I want you inside of me.”
A distant part of me clamored for attention, but it seemed terribly dim, and the desire for what I wanted overpowered it easily. I slid my hands up his chest. “You want me. I know it. You want to fuck me.” I pushed his hands away and captured his mouth again.
I heard the front door slam open, but I didn’t pay any attention. All I wanted was the feel and taste of Ryan. Something seized me by the back of my shirt, and I let out a snarl as whatever it was hauled me away from Ryan. Twisting, I tried to strike out at the interloper, but Eilahn blocked my blow easily and delivered a sharp and stinging slap across my face.
“You fucking bitch!” I howled, flailing out another attempt to strike the grim-faced syraza. She said nothing but struck me again, this time hard enough for me to see stars. I staggered and sprawled on the arm of the couch as I dimly heard Eilahn ordering Ryan to go outside. I turned to look at him and caught sight of the oddly tortured expression on his face, though I couldn’t figure out why that could be. Surely he wanted to fuck me too, right? What was wrong with that? Why the hell was Eilahn interfering? She had no right! Had Rhyzkahl ordered her to keep me away from other men? With a snarl of rage I threw myself at her, swinging a punch for her head, but she stopped me cold and seized my throat in a grip that felt like steel. She wasn’t cutting off my air—instead she had her fingers placed perfectly to cut off the blood to my brain. I clawed at her fingers, panicked as the blood roared in my ears, and my vision narrowed. Flailing, I watched the grim and worried set of her face as the blackness swept in.
“I am sworn to protect you,” I heard her say through the roaring. Then I heard nothing at all.
“What happened?”
“I do not know.”
“I wouldn’t have.…” That was Ryan’s voice. “You do know that, right?”
My head throbbed hideously, and the voices seemed to stab through my ears.
“I do.” That was Eilahn. I cracked an eye open uncertainly. The memory of the last few minutes before I lost consciousness was horribly clear. Humiliatingly so. Eilahn crouched before me, and I did my best to focus on her. I knew that Ryan was nearby, but I didn’t dare try and look at him. Oh fuck, I never wanted to look at him again.
I burst into tears instead, which, of course, only served to increase my total humiliation. To my complete shock she pulled me into an embrace. I’d been sitting on the couch with her kneeling before me, but in a graceful and impossibly strong move, she shifted so that she was the one sitting, and I was somehow cradled in her lap. Somehow it didn’t feel demeaning at all. Good thing, since I was utterly aghast at what I’d done and couldn’t stop crying. But the demon merely held me close like a child and hummed softly.
Gradually ease stole through me, and I was finally able to stop shaking and get control of the racking sobs. But I made no move to pull away. I wasn’t ready to face Ryan.
“You were overtaken,” the demon murmured. “You must not feel shame for what happened.”
But it was what I wanted, I thought miserably. I wasn’t being controlled.
“Something affected you,” she continued. “You know in your essence that you would never have acted thus on your own volition.”
She had a point there. Even if I did want Ryan to…I cringed. I couldn’t even think it without flushing in embarrassment at my behavior. Which, of course, helped prove Eilahn’s point. I wasn’t quite the type to jump on him, no matter how much I might secretly lust after him. And especially now that I knew how much more could be at stake. An unpleasant chill snaked through me. I am sworn to protect you. That’s what Eilahn had said right before I lost consciousness. Was she protecting me from Ryan? From Rhyzkahl? Would she have done the same if I’d made a pass at, say, Tracy Gordon?
I lifted my head unsteadily. She slid smoothly aside and shifted so that I was sitting properly again, though she remained beside me. I swiped at my eyes. Eilahn held out a roll of toilet paper.
“You have nothing else that would serve for nose-blowing,” she stated so matter-of-factly that I managed something that almost resembled a smile. I made use of the toilet paper, not caring that my nose-blowing was probably fairly disgusting. I’d already shamed myself enough. What was a little grossness at this point?
“What happened?” I heard Ryan say, anxiety deeply coloring his voice. I still couldn’t bring myself to look at him, though I was aware that he was standing just beyond the open door. Eilahn had ordered him outside, and he was apparently abiding by her command.
“I don’t know,” I replied, eyes on my hands. “Ryan…I’m so sorry. I—” My voice caught, and I couldn’t go on. I’d pretty much screwed up any chance of us remaining friends. A tiny part of me wondered if maybe that would be for the best, for my own safety, but the rest of me ached at the thought. I’d been alone for so much of my life that the thought of losing any of my newfound friends was agonizing.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Kara,” he said, anger in his voice. “Knock it off. Something happened to you that caused you to go temporarily nuts. Don’t you fucking dare apologize.”
I lifted my head to glare at him before I could remember that I was too ashamed for that sort of thing. He caught my gaze. “I guess that new cologne of mine that’s guaranteed to drive women wild worked a little too well,” he said with a reassuring smile that managed to ease a tiny bit of the horrible fear lingering inside me still.
I shook my head. “Nope. I think your geek show drove me over the edge.”
He laughed, relief shining in his eyes, and I realized that he was just as afraid as I was that this would permanently mar our friendship. Like there isn’t enough going on already to affect that, I thought. It’s a fucking miracle we can still even be in the same room. And how would Rhyzkahl react if I ever did sleep with Ryan? Rhyzkahl had never batted an eyelash at the two of us being friends, and he’d never seemed the least bit possessive. But even if they aren’t enemies there’s definitely some sort of conflict going on between those two. The last thing I want is to be caught in the middle.