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“Because,” he faltered, “they couldn’t find the guy. I guess on the night of the fieldtrip, Stephan finally found him. That’s why we couldn’t get a hold of them. They’d gone to pick up this man.” No wonder Alex had gotten out of the Jeep to talk to Stephan. He didn’t want me to hear any of this. “I-I can’t believe this. You guys are so—so—”
“Gemma, you need to calm down,” he said. “You’re freaking out, and I can’t understand what you’re saying.”
“Of course I’m freaking out.” I yelled, clenching my hands into fists as I jumped to my feet. “You just told me that I have to go back to being Hollow Zombie Girl.” I’m not sure how he’d expected me to react, but by the look of shock on his face, I was guessing he’d probably anticipated a more mellow reaction.
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But I don’t know why.
I started to back away from the couch. “I won’t do it. There’s no way. I can’t go back to being like that. Ever.”
“You don’t have a choice,” he said, getting to his feet. “This isn’t just about you. It’s about the safety of the world and everyone in it. Do you want to be responsible for people dying?”
“No,” I said, sidestepping around the coffee table. “But how do you expect me to just let them detach my soul and take away everything. Do you know what it was like living that way for—for—I don’t even know how long it was because time felt nonexistent.
Every single day was nothing. There was no point in even waking up. Yet I did, every single day. And even though my emotions were gone, it was still torture. And it’s going to be worse now because I've experienced what it’s like to feel things and be human.
You guys may think it’s okay to do it, but it’s 637/695
not. Yes, it may have to be done to save the world, but it’s still horrible because, aside from what you guys may think, I’m not just somethingcarry around a star inside me. I’m human too. Or at least part human.” Okay, that was by far the biggest speech I’ve ever made. It ran me out of breath, it took so long.
“I know your human,” he snapped. “You don’t think I understand how wrong it is. Do you know how much I wished there was another way to fix it?”
“That’s such a load of crap,” I said, my voice hot with anger. “You’ve hated me since the first day we’ve met.”
“I’ve never hated you.” His voice had softened. “Not once.”
I glared at him. “You are such a liar.” He grabbed me by the arm and reeled me to him, crashing me into his chest. “I’ve never hated you.”
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I had to remind myself to breath. Every part of my body felt hot and electric, and my head was spi
“Well, it’s good to see that you’re wrist is feeling better,” he said.
“Yeah…” It felt so nice when he touched me.
“Just forget about everything for a minute,” he whispered.
Maybe
I
could…forget
about…everything.
His eyelids drifted shut as he leaned in to kiss me.
That slapped me back to reality. “Forget about everything.” I yanked my arm away from him and shoved him back. “What is this? Are you trying to distract me or something?”
“No.” He looked stu
I backed away from him. “Stay away from me.”
He kept coming at me. “I’m not—”
“Stay away from me!” I cried and took off in a mad sprint down the hall.
I wasn’t sure if he followed me or not. I never checked. I stormed into the room that held my bag and locked the door. Then I threw myself on the bed and cried and cried and cried until I ran out of tears.
Chapter 31
“Gemma, wake up,” a voice whispered.
I groaned, my eyelids to heavy to open.
“Gemma.” The voice rose louder I let out a grunt and opened my eyes, only to realize that not only was I lying on the floor, but I was lying on the floor in an entirely different room. I sat up, rubbed my eyes, and peered around at the purple walls pi
with
drawings,
photos,
and
a…galaxy map?
“Okay,” I whispered. “Where am I?”
“I want to tell you something.” I recognized the voice instantly and jumped to my feet. Sitting in a bay window, gazing up at the night sky, was a woman with long brown hair and blue iris—my641/695
mother. Sitting next to her was a little girl with violet eyes—me.
And yep, I could see their faces. Apparently, memories or not, getting rid of the haze in one of them had cleared them all up.
“Look at the stars mama.” The younger me pointed at the sky. “They’re so pretty.”
“Yes, they are,” my mother agreed. “And it’s very important that you remember that.
No matter what happens.” The younger me looked up at her.
“Why? What’s going to happen?”
“That’s for me to worry about.” My mother smoothed the younger me’s hair back.
“I’m scared,” the younger me whispered, getting teary eyed. “I don’t want you to leave me.”
“I know. And I don’t want to leave you.
But in case something does happen, I need you to know that I love you more than anything.” My mother wiped a tear away from642/695
the younger me’s eye. “And I always will.
Never forget that.”
The younger me nodded and hugged my mother tightly. “I promise I’ll never forget.”
“Yes, you will,” I whispered, tears trickling down my cheeks. “You’ll forget everything.”
My eyes shot open. I was back at the cabin, lying on the bed. My eyes and cheeks were damp with tears. My neck was sore and hot—I must have been sleeping in a weird position or something. Whatever these things—visions, resurfacing memories, or maybe just dreams—were, I still had managed to cry in real-life. My guess, though, was that they were memories.
I tried not to think about how heartbreaking the scene between me and my mother was as I wiped my tears away with the sleeve of my jacket. It was just too painful to think about.
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Unsure of how late it was, or how much time had gone by since I’d locked myself in the room, I scooted off the bed and treaded over to the window. Pulling back the curtain, I saw that it was nearing dark. The hills were shadows, the sky grey. But it was still early enough that the stars had not yet awakened.
So what was I supposed to do now? The last thing I wanted to do was to walk out and find Marco, Sophia, Stephan, and Detaching Soul Guy waiting for me. I needed to find out if they’d arrived yet.
I tiptoed over to the door, cracked it open, and listened. The only noise I could hear came from my own breathing. Crossing my fingers that no one was here yet, I opened the door the rest of the way, went out into the living room, and almost jumped with joy when I found it completely people free.
But where was Alex?
Good question.
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I searched the house, checking the kitchen, the dining room, even going out into the garage. But nothing. There was no sign of Alex anywhere. Is that necessarily a bad thing? I asked myself, and sighed because the answer was yes.
I was just about to sit down on the couch and wait it out when I spotted Alex through the sliding glass door. He was sitting in a porch swing on the back porch. Beneath the dim porch light, I could see that he’d ditched the black baseball hat, his dark brown hair sticking up in its messily, yet perfectly done, way. He was staring down at his hand, and I couldn’t help but feel nervous about what he might be holding in it.
I made my way over to the sliding door, and paused before gliding it open. I stepped out into the cold night air, my breath puffing out in a cloud.