Wait for you

I was such a lightweight.

And why was I sitting on the curb? I honestly didn’t know, but it was better than being inside my apartment, all alone. And yeah, I was alone out here, but it didn’t feel that way. I was pretty sure there was a squirrel over by the tree, so that counted for something, right?

I laughed and the wind seemed to pick up the sound, tossing it up in the bare branches, where they rattled like dry bones.

Lifting the bottle to take another drink, I realized it was empty. “Well, shit on me…”Still, I sat there, staring out across the parking lot, not really seeing anything. I don’t know how long it was, but when I glanced up, I couldn’t see any of the stars behind the thick, dark clouds and my face felt numb.  I wondered what Molly was doing right now. Did she feel any different than me because she had done the right thing? Any better or worse?

“Avery!”

I jumped at the sound of my name and dropped my empty beer bottle. It clanked off the asphalt and rolled under someone’s car. Whoops.

Cam stalked across the sidewalk toward me, the wind tossing strands of wavy hair across his forehead. What happened to the cap? I liked the cap. The look on his face twisted up my insides. “What in the fuck are you doing out here?”

“I… I’m looking at the stars.”

“What?” He stopped beside me and knelt down. “Avery, it’s like thirty degrees outside. You’re going to get sick again.”

I shrugged and looked away. “What are you doing out here?”

“I was looking for you, you little dumbass.”

My head swung in his direction and my eyes narrowed. It may only be thirty degrees outside, but the liquor was warm in my tummy and it fueled my temper. “Excuse me? You’re out here, so you’re a dumbass, too, you dumbass.”

His lips twitched as if he was trying not to smile. “I told you I was coming over to talk to you. I checked your apartment first. I knocked and you didn’t answer. The door was unlocked and I went inside.”

“You went inside my apartment? That’s kind of rude.”

He looked unbothered by that. “Yeah, I saw you sitting up here from your window.”

It was taking my head a little longer than normal to process everything. “Is the fight over?”

Sitting down beside me, we were shoulder to shoulder. “No. The main fight just began.”

“You’re missing it.”

Cam didn’t respond immediately. He thrust his hand through his hair, causing the ends to stand up between his fingers. “God, Avery…”

I squirmed, and the liquor sloshed in my stomach.

A muscle in his jaw worked as he focused on the cars I was staring at earlier. “Seeing you tonight? I was fucking surprised.”

“Because of Steph?” I blurted out, and blamed the alcohol for that.

“What?” He shot me a look. “No. Jase invited her.”

“Looks like she was there for you.”

He shrugged one shoulder. “Maybe she was, but I don’t give a fuck.” Then he turned to me, head tilted to the side, hands now on his knee. “Avery, I haven’t messed around with Steph since I met you. I have messed around with anyonesince I met you.”

My heart thumped in my chest. “Okay.”

“Okay?” He gave a little shake of his head. “See, you don’t get it. You never fucking got it. You’ve avoided me since Thanksgiving break. Dropped the Goddamn class and I know that was because of me, and every time I tried to talk to you, you fucking ran from me.”

“You didn’t want to talk to me the day I thanked you for helping me out,” I pointed out.

“Gee, I don’t know why? Maybe because you made it painfully clear you didn’t want anything to do with me.  And then you just show up tonight? Out of the fucking blue and get drunk? You don’t get it.”

I wet my cold, dry lips. Everything he said was true. “I’m sorry. I am drunk, a little, and I am sorry, because you’re right and… I’m rambling.”

He stared at me a moment and then barked out a short laugh. “Alright, it’s not the time for that conversation obviously. Look, I didn’t mean to be such a dick inside there, making you leave, but—”

“It’s okay. I’m used to people not wanting me at their parties.” I pushed to my feet. The stars seemed to twirl a bit with the movement. “No big deal.”

Cam stood, watching me carefully. “It’s not that I didn’t want you there, Avery.”

“Um… really?” I laughed and it sounded hoarse. “You asked me to leave.”

“I—”

“Correction.” I held up my hand and my fingers blurred a bit. “You toldme to leave.”

“I did. It was a dickhead move, but it’s the first time you’re at my place, you come in there, start drinking and then…” He took a deep breath, letting out slowly. “Henry was all over and you’re giggling—”

“I’m not interested in him!”

“It didn’t look that way, Avery. You’re drunk and I didn’t want you doing something you’d regret,” he said. “I don’t know what the hell goes on in your head half the time and I had no idea what you were doing here tonight, but I’ve neverseen you drink and I didn’t know what you were going to do. I didn’t want someone taking advantage of you.”

“Been there, done that,” I tossed out recklessly, and then clamped my mouth shut. Oh my God, I was never drinking again. Ever.

He raised his hands and then stopped halfway. He just stared at me, a terrible understanding crossing his face. “What?”

I’d made a big mistake—a big, big mistake. Flight or fight response kicked in, and of course, I did the flight thing. I started around him.

“Oh, hell no.” Cam was right in front of me, hands on my shoulders. “What did you just say?”

Damage control mode took over.  “I don’t know what I said. Okay? I’m drunk, Cam. Duh. Who the fuck knows what’s coming out of my mouth. I don’t. I really don’t know what I’m even doing out here.”

“Shit.” His eyes were a dark, midnight blue as he stared into mine. “Avery…” A pained look crossed his face and his fingers tightened on my shoulders. “What are you not telling me? What haven’tyou told me?”

My throat constricted. “Nothing! I swear. I promise you. I’m just ru

“I’m not staring at you like that, sweetheart.” His brows slammed down as he searched my face.

I wanted to know what he was thinking, because I knew he had to be lying. That one little slip of the tongue had me desperately trying to come up with a way to erase it. I could lie and tell him I just got really drunk once and embarrassed myself. Sounded believable, but I had absolutely no control of my mouth apparently.

Then Cam did the one thing that sent my thoughts spi

He pulled me against him, wrapping his arms around me. I froze for only a second or two and then I placed my hands on his sides. I closed my eyes and pressed my cheek against his chest.

I inhaled his scent, surrounding myself in it. “I’ve missed you.”

His hand moved up my back, burying deep in my wind blown hair. “I’ve missed you, sweetheart.” He leaned back and lifted me a good couple of inches off my feet and then sat be back down. Sliding his hands to my cheeks, he laughed. “You feel like a little ice cube.”

“I feel hot.” And that was true. My skin was numb, but I felt his hug and I felt his hands sliding over me. I raised my lashes and our eyes met. “Your eyes are really beautiful, you know that?”

“I think that’s the shots of tequila talking,” he replied, gri

Cam stepped back and let go of my shoulders. I was a little tipsy on my feet, and when he reached down and threaded his fingers through mine, the biggest, stupidest grin lit up my face. It was like he hadn’t asked me to leave his apartment and I hadn’t been sitting outside for God knows how long like a loser.

Might have been the tequila and beer, but I wanted to run around like a lunatic.

Luckily I didn’t attempt that, because the stairs proved to be a tricky beast. I think the depth between each step kept changing on me. Back in my too toasty apartment, Cam shut the door behind us. He still held my hand tightly in his as he turned to me. He didn’t say anything, and a nervous anticipation swelled inside me.