Deity

A shock ran through me, flushing my skin. But wait—was he suggesting that we go to bed together or that we go to bed in separate beds? I really had no idea, I was too afraid to hope, and oddly, I was frightened by the idea. It was like being offered what I’d waited for so long and suddenly having no idea what to do with it.

Or how to do it.

His lips quirked, and then he stood. Clasping my boneless hands in his, he tugged me to my feet. My legs felt weak. “Go to bed,” he said.

‘“Are… are you coming, too?”

Aiden nodded. “I’ll be up in a few.”

I couldn’t breathe.

“Go,” he urged.

And I went.

CHAPTER 22

I WAS SURE I WAS GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK. Rarely did mortal illnesses plague us, but since I had a cold already, I figured nothing was impossible.

I still couldn’t really breathe.

I brushed my teeth and got the tangles out of my hair. I stared at the obscenely large bed in the middle of the room. I couldn’t decide what to wear. Or should I wear nothing? Oh gods, what was I thinking? It wasn’t like he said he was coming up to have sex. And if he wasn’t and he saw me lying on the bed naked, that would be a whole lot of awkward. Perhaps he just wanted to spend more time with me. Seth issue aside, there was still the whole glaring issue of us not being able to be together.

But he had the pick. He’d had thepick hovering over his heart this entire time.

I pulled on a tank top and sleeping shorts, then started toward the bed. Then I looked down at my arms. In the moonlight streaming in through the window, I could still see the patchy, irregular skin. I didn’t want Aiden to see that. So I changed quickly, pulling on a thin, long-sleeved shirt. I kept the bottoms on. Then I jumped in the bed, pulled the covers up to my chin, and waited.

There was a soft knock on the door a few minutes later. “It’s okay.” I winced at the way my voice croaked.

Aiden came in, shutting and locking the door behind him. He’d changed, too, wearing a pair of dark sleeping pants and a gray tank top that showed off muscular arms. I swallowed nervously and willed my heart to slow down before I spazzed out.

He faced me and went rigid. The room was too shadowed for me to see his expression, and I wished I could, because then I could’ve tried to figure out what he was thinking. Wordlessly, he went to the windows first and drew the blinds. The room was cast into utter darkness, and my fingers dug into the rich comforter. I heard him padding around the room, and then a soft glow appeared. Aiden brought a candle to the bed, setting it down on a small table. He looked at me, expression softened by the candlelight. He smiled.

I started to relax, the blanket easing away from my fingers.

Carefully, he pulled back the covers on his side and climbed in, never once breaking eye contact with me. “Alex?”

“Yeah?”

He was still smiling. “Relax. I just want to be here with you… if that’s okay?”

“It’s okay,” I whispered.

“Good, because I really don’t want to be anyplace else.”

Oh, the warmth that flooded my chest could’ve had me floating to the stars. I watched him stretch out beside me. My gaze darted to the closed door even though I knew Deacon was nowhere near us. And it wasn’t like he didn’t already suspect something. Or like he cared. I bit my lip, daring a quick look at Aiden. He chin was tipped up and his eyes burned silver, bright, and intense. I couldn’t look away.

Aiden drew in a shallow breath, lifting the arm closest to me. “Come?”

Heart pounding, I scooted over until my leg brushed his. His arm came up, wrapping around my waist. He guided me down so that I was nestled against him, my cheek on his chest.

I could feel his heart racing just as fast as mine. We lay in silence for a little while, and in those minutes, it was like being in paradise. The simple pleasure of being beside him felt so right it really couldn’t be wrong.

Aiden brought his other arm across him, cupping my cheek in his hand. His thumb smoothed over my jaw. “I’m sorry for that day in the gym. For how I talked to you, for how much I hurt you. I just thought I was doing the right thing.”

“I understand, Aiden. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. I hurt you. I know I did. I want you to know why I did that,” he said. “After you told me how you felt, at the zoo… it… it shattered my self-control.” Didn’t seem that way, I thought as he continued. “I knew I couldn’t be around you anymore, because I knew I would touch you and I wouldn’t stop.”

I lifted up, staring down at him and opened my mouth to say something that probably would’ve ruined the moment, but I never had the chance. Aiden’s hand found the nape of my neck and pulled me down. His lips met mine, and like every time before, there was this indefinable spark that coursed through us. He made a sound against my lips, kissing me harder and harder.

He pulled back just enough so that his lips brushed mine when he spoke. “I can’t keep pretending that I don’t want this—that I don’t want you. I can’t. Not after what happened to you. I thought… I thought I’d lost you, Alex, forever. And I would’ve lost everything. You aremy everything.”

Many emotions rose in me all at once—awe, hope, and love. So much love that everything outside of us vanished in that instant. “This… this is what you’ve been trying to tell me.”

“It’s what I’ve always wanted to tell you, Alex.” He sat up, bringing me along with him. “I’ve always wanted this with you.”

I slid my hands to his cheeks, meeting his heated gaze with my own. “I’ve always loved you.”

Aiden made a strangled sound and his lips were on mine again. His hand buried in my hair, holding me still. “This wasn’t my intention… coming in here.”

“I know.” My lips brushed his as I spoke. “I know.”

As he kissed me again, he eased onto his back. My heart was hammering against my ribs as his fingers left my face and traveled down. He lifted himself up just enough for me to take off his shirt and toss it aside. My hands splayed across each hard ripple and I kissed my way down until his chest heaved under my lips and he whispered my name in a pleading sort of way. He gripped my arms and pulled me back to his lips.

I shrugged out of his grasp and lifted my arms without speaking. He obeyed the silent command and tossed my shirt aside. Without any warning, I was on my back, staring up at him. His hands slipped over my bare skin as his lips dipped down my throat and over the curve of my shoulder. Each scar was kissed tenderly, and when he came to the one Linard’s blade had left, he shuddered.

My fingers sifted through his hair as I held him to me. His kisses were doing crazy, strange, and wonderful things to me. I whispered his name over and over again like some kind of mad prayer. Then I was moving against him, being guided by some primal instinct that told me what to do. The rest of our clothes ended up in a pile on the floor. The moment our bodies were flush with one another, a sense of wildness came over me.

Our kisses deepened, his tongue swept over mine, and I rocked against him. All of this was wonderful, exquisitely pleasing. Aiden dropped kisses all over my flushed skin. I was lost in the heady sensations, completely unprepared for it. This may not have been what we intended, but this… this was happening.

Aiden lifted his head. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I breathed. “I’ve never been more sure.”

His hand trembled against my flushed face. “Have you gotten…?”

He was asking if I’d had my shot—the Council-mandated birth control for all half-blood females. I nodded.