Страница 28 из 83
“What can I do for you?” Aiden asked casually.
“Practice is ru
“We were just finishing up.”
“Alexandria, what are you doing over there?” asked Marcus.
Cursing under my breath, I shouldered the bag and faced my uncle. He wore a three-piece suit. No one on campus dressed as well as he did.
“Nothing, just getting my stuff.”
He raised a brow elegantly. “Were you ru
I shot my uncle a dirty look, but managed to keep my mouth shut.
“It’s fine,” Aiden responded quickly. “She wasn’t that late.”
Marcus nodded. “Well, I’m glad I found you two together.”
My brows inched up my forehead, and the urge to laugh hit me hard. Aiden looked less amused.
“I’ve given what you asked some thought and I do agree with what you’ve suggested, Aiden.”
The lines around Aiden’s mouth tightened. “I haven’t had a chance to discuss this with Alex.”
Marcus frowned. “Don’t concern yourself with that. You’ve done wonderfully with her. I have to admit, I didn’t think she’d be able to get caught up, but you were right. We can end the additional practices.”
I stepped forward, but I didn’t feel the floor under my sneakers. “End my practices?”
“Aiden feels that you no longer require these additional practices, and I happen to agree with him. You’ll still be working with Seth, but this will afford you some time off and also allow Aiden to return to his Sentinel duties fully.”
I stared at Marcus, hearing him but not really understanding. Then I turned toward Aiden. His face was utterly blank. I knew I should feel good about this, because it was a huge step in the right direction and Marcus had sort of complimented me, but I couldn’t get past the hole opening up in my chest. Aiden and I would never see each other if we didn’t train together.
“Aiden, you’ve spoken about this with Seth?” Marcus asked. “Discussed areas for potential improvement?”
“Yes, Seth is aware of things she can use additional work on.” Aiden’s voice sounded surprisingly empty and flat.
He’d already talked this over with Seth? I inhaled, but the air fled my lungs. My chest seized in a weird way and my brain tried to tell me that I’d known this day was coming. I just hadn’t thought it was coming this soon.
“Well, I don’t want to keep you. Enjoy your di
He didn’t wait for my response, which was good, because I had none. The moment I felt sure he was out of hearing range, I whirled on Aiden. “We aren’t going to train anymore?”
Aiden still wouldn’t look at me. “I was going to talk to you about it. I think—”
“You were going to talk to me about it? Why didn’t you talk to me before you went to Marcus?”
“I went to Marcus last week, Alex.”
“After… we got back from the zoo? That’s why you were in Marcus’s office when I got there?”
Aiden still hadn’t looked at me, not once since Marcus had dropped the bomb. “Yes.”
“I... I don’t understand.” I gripped the bag’s shoulder strap like it was some kind of lifeline. “Why don’t you want to train me anymore?”
“Alex, you don’t need me to train you anymore.” His body started to tense, to lock up. “You’re caught up with the other students.”
“If that’s true then why did you have to discuss areas of improvement with Seth? Why can’t you just work on them?”
Aiden turned away fully, ru
There was a strange buzzing in my ears, adding a surreal element to all of this. “That’s not true. I don’t need Seth.”
Aiden’s head snapped in my direction. “You don’t need me, Alex.”
It took me several tries to get the next words out over the huge lump in my throat. “I do. I won’t see you anymore if we don’t train.”
“You’ll see me at Council, Alex, and you’ll see me around here. Don’t be ridiculous.”
I ignored the coldness in his voice. “But after that? I won’t see you.” My voice cracked. The sound was equally humiliating and sad.
“Well, I think that is… for the best.”
It felt like he’d reached inside me and crushed my lungs into lifeless lumps. I drew in a deep breath and tried to calm down, but there was this raw hurt in my chest. It ached, throbbed in a way that felt so real. I could only stare at him. “Is… this because of what I told you at the zoo? Why you don’t want to train me anymore?”
Aiden’s lean body tensed again, and a muscle in his jaw jumped. “Yes, that has something to do with it.”
A crack in my heart started. “Because… because I said I loved you?”
He made a deep sound in his throat. “And because I don’t…” He paused, looking away. “I don’t feel the same way about you. I can’t.Okay? I can’t let myself love you. If I did, I would take everything from you— everything. I can’t do that to you. I won’t do that to you.”
“What? That doesn’t—”
“It does matter, Alex.”
I reached for his arm, but Aiden moved away from me. Stung, I wrapped my arms around my waist. “You’re saying this—”
“Just stop.” He ran a hand through his hair again.
The rawness of his words sliced through. “Then why did you tell me that stuff at the zoo? Why did you say you cared for me? That you wanted to break the rules for me? Why would you tell me any of that?”
Aiden turned gunmetal gray eyes on me, and I took a step back. He looked nothing like the Aiden I knew. Aiden never looked at me so coolly, so detached. “I do care for you, Alex. I… don’t want to see anything bad happen to you or to see you hurt.”
“No.” I shook my head. “It’s more than that. You… you held my hand.” The last bit came out a pitiful whisper.
He flinched. “That was… a silly mistake.”
Now I flinched, and I couldn’t stop the words from coming out. “No. You want me—”
“Of course I wantyou,” he said harshly. “I’m a man, and you’re a beautiful girl. I can’t help that. Wanting you in the physical sense has nothing to do with how I feel about you.”
My mouth opened, but nothing came out. I blinked back hot tears.
Aiden’s hands curled into fists. “You’re a half-blood, Alex. You can’t love me, and pure-bloods don’t love halfs.”
I staggered back, feeling as if he’d smacked me in the face. I was so embarrassed—humiliated. How had I mistaken how he felt about me so badly? I had everythingwrong. Letting out a ragged breath, I turned away just as Aiden closed his eyes and lowered his head. Sick to my stomach, I walked back to the dorm in a daze. The worst part was the shame. I couldn’t see past it, couldn’t think around it. There was a burning in my eyes I desperately fought. Crying wasn’t going to solve anything, but damn, that’s all I wanted to do. My chest felt like it’d been ripped open, my heart torn apart.
When I opened the door to my room, I wasn’t entirely surprised to find Seth sitting on the couch. Not surprised, but angry. I needed to consider barring the window in the bedroom.
He didn’t look up. “Hey.”
“Please leave.” I dropped my bag on the floor.
Seth’s lips pursed as he stared straight ahead. “I can’t do that.”
Fierce emotion swept through me, agonizing and raw. I couldn’t—wouldn’t lose it in front of Seth. “I’m not screwing with you. Get out.”
He looked up, eyes the color of a warm sunset. “I’m sorry… but I can’t leave.”
I stepped forward, clenching my hands. “I don’t care what I’m throwing off right now and how it’s affecting you. Please leave.”
Seth slowly came to his feet. “I’m not leaving. You could use the company.”