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Lord Palmerston's solution to the problem was both ingenious andvery, very dangerous.
In his mind's eye, Burton could picture the prime ministercontemplating two reports, one entitled The Irish Crisis and theother The Trent Affair, and could imagine the glint in his eyes asa radical and daring scheme occurred to him.
The Trent Affair had begun the previous December, when twoConfederate diplomats, John Slidell of Louisiana and James Mason ofVirginia, had been dispatched to London to convince Palmerston thatan independent Confederacy would establish a mutually beneficialcommercial alliance with Great Britain. They'd been travelling onthe British mail packet Trent when the Union ship USS San Jacintointercepted it. The British vessel was boarded, searched-notwithout some rough handling-and the envoys taken prisoner.
This was viewed, right across Europe, as an outrageous insultand a blatant act of provocation.
Angrily, Palmerston demanded an apology from the Union.
While he awaited President Lincoln's response, he ordered thearmy to begin amassing its troops on the Canadian border and theRoyal Navy to prepare for attacks on American shipping the worldover.
Toward the end of January, Lincoln's secretary of stateresponded by setting Slidell and Mason free and by explaining, in aletter, that the interception and searching of the Trent, whileconducted in an unfortunate ma
Palmerston was in no way mollified. He called an emergencycabinet meeting, stamped into the room, slammed his top hat ontothe table, and flew into one of his infamous tantrums. “I don'tknow whether you're going to stand this,” he screamed, “but I'll bedamned if I do!”
The military buildup continued.
The prime minister ordered the construction of twelveshallow-draught ironclad steam battleships, designed specificallyto operate in American coastal waters. Six new dreadnought-classrotorships were also built, all with bomb bays.
On the 4th of July 1862, Palmerston made two declarations. Thefirst stated that Great Britain was now at war with Lincoln'sUnion. The second promised that any Irishman who agreed to join theBritish army would receive free transportation for his entirefamily to one of the Confederate States, plus two hundred poundswith which to purchase a home and start a new life.
In one fell swoop, he solved the immigration problem, relocateda homeless nation, and created one of the strongest and mostwilling armies the world had ever seen.
Even Napoleon III and Bismarck, both of whom had beenthreatening British interests in Europe, reluctantly admitted thatthe prime minister was a genius, an arch manipulator, and a manthey'd rather not cross.
Abraham Lincoln sent a lengthy letter of protest, whichcontained the sentence: If you are against the Union, you supportslavery.
Palmerston made history with his terse, five-word reply: To hellwith you, sir!
Sir Richard Francis Burton hated slavery with a passion. He'dseen with his own eyes the wholesale destruction, humiliation, andmisery it wrought-had seen the deep wounds that scarred Africa. Itprompted him to now ask: “What of the slave trade, PrimeMinister?”
Palmerston's right eyelid twitched. He drummed his longmanicured fingernails on the mahogany desktop.
“I didn't call you here to examine my policies.”
“Nor am I doing so. I'm merely curious to know whether there isa policy in this regard.”
“I'll not have your impudence!”
“You misunderstand me. There is no challenge or disapproval inmy words. I'm aware that Lincoln's Crittenden-Johnson Resolutionstates that his army is fighting to preserve the Union and not toend slavery. I am also aware that the Confederates mean to continuethat filthy trade. So where do you stand?”
Palmerston slapped his hand down and shouted: “Damn you, man!How dare you question me?”
Very quietly, his voice barely above a whisper, Burton replied:“When I was in Arabia back in ‘53, I could have purchased a littleblack boy or girl for just one thousand piastres. I could havebought a eunuch for double that sum. Girls from the Galla countrycost considerably more due to the fact that their skin remains coolin the hottest weather and is silky to the touch. Female slaveshave their genitals mutilated before they are sold to prevent anypossibility that they might enjoy sexual union. The theory is thatit prevents them from straying. The wounds-”
“Stop! Stop! Your point is made!” Palmerston interrupted. “Verywell, I'll tell you. When the Confederates win the war, they'll bein Britain's debt. I'll demand abolition as repayment.”
“And if they refuse?”
“I'll block their trade routes.”
“It's a big country.”
“They may have a big country, sir, but I have a bigger Empire,and if they show one iota of ingratitude, I'll not hesitate toincorporate the old colonies back into it!”
Burton's eyes widened. “Good lord!”
“Empires require resources, Burton, which is why the whole ofEurope is scrambling for Africa. With that accursed continentproving so damned intractable, perhaps the Americas are a betteroption. Much of them were ours in the past. All of them can be oursin the future.”
“Surely you're not serious?”
Palmerston's mouth stretched even wider. “Perhaps it hasn'toccurred to you that imagination is required in a politician?”
“But how could you possibly justify-”
“Justify? Justify? Justify to whom, sir?”
“To the electorate.”
Palmerston threw his head back and made a crackling noise thatmay have been laughter.
“They already elected me, Burton. While I occupy this seat, I'lldo what I think is best, whether they like it or not.”
Burton shook his head in amazement. “You politicians are a breedapart.”
Palmerston pulled a silver snuff tin from his waistcoat pocketand clicked open its lid. He placed a pinch of powder on the backof his right hand, raised it to his nose, and sniffed.
“Stanley's eight rotorchairs have turned up.”
Burton blinked at the sudden change of subject then sat boltupright.
“Where?”
“They were found near the village of Ntobe, to the southwest ofSpeke's Lake Albert-”
“The Ukerewe Nyanza,” Burton corrected.
“Call it what you will. An Arab trader discovered them.He-excuse me-” Palmerston turned his head and let loose aprodigious sneeze. He looked back at Burton with his left eye. Theright had slipped out of alignment and was directed at the ceiling.“-he brought word back to Christopher Rigby, the consul atZanzibar.”
“And what of Stanley?”
“No sign. Have you caught up with the newspapers?”
“No. I returned yesterday. The only thing I've been catching upwith is lost sleep.”
“The Times, the Globe, and the Empire are calling for anotherexpedition. A rescue mission. They all agree that there's only oneman qualified to lead it.”
“Who?”
“Sir Richard Francis Burton.”
Burton's jaw clenched. He cleared his throat and said: “I'llstart to make arrangements for-”
“You can't. You're busy.”
“But, surely I-”
“I forbid it. You're under commission to the king. Your servicesare required here. I've spoken to Sir Roderick Murchison and, onhis recommendation, the government will offer financial backing tothe Baker and Petherick expedition.”
Burton glowered ferociously and remained silent.
“Incidentally,” Palmerston said, ignoring the explorer'sexpression, “on the subject of rotorchairs, His Majesty has orderedthat a second be delivered to you. It's for Mr. Swinburne. Ourmonarch was most impressed with the young poet's contribution toyour solving of the Spring Heeled Jack mystery.”
“Thank you.”
“You'll receive it some time this week.”
The politician reached into a desk drawer and pulled out a sheafof documents. With a slight air of embarrassment, he clippedpince-nez spectacles to the bridge of his nose. Behind theirsmoked-blue lenses, his right eye slid back into place. He peereddown at the papers.