Onyx (A Lux Novel)

“I really don’t know.” I chased after the tear with my thumb. “I don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring, what a year from now is going to be like. Hell, we may end up killing each other over something stupid next week. It’s a possibility. But all I do know is what I feel for you isn’t going anywhere.”

She started to cry harder, and it made me weak in the knees. I bent my head, kissing the tears away until that wasn’t enough and I neededa taste of her. I kissed her, growling at the way her lips felt against mine.

But Kat pulled back. “How can you still want me?”

I pressed my forehead against hers. “Oh, I still want to strangle you. But I’m insane. You’re crazy. Maybe that’s why. Maybe we’re meant to be together.”

“That makes no sense.”

“It kind of does, to me at least.” I kissed her again. I had to. “It might have to do with the fact you finally admitted you’re deeply and irrevocably in love with me.”

She let out a weak, shaky laugh. “I sodid not admit that.”

“Not in so many words, but we both know it’s true. And I’m okay with it.”

“You are?” She closed those beautiful, heather-gray eyes, and all I could think was how grateful I was she was still breathing.

Man, I was turning into a pansy.

But I didn’t care. Not when it came to her.

“It’s the same for you?” she asked.

My answer was to bring our mouths together again…and again. The touch was like tapping into the Source, sending lightning straight to the soul. The kiss deepened until there was no me, no her. It was just us, and it wasn’t enough—could never be enough.

I was moving without realizing it, and the next thing I knew we were on the bed and she was right where I wanted her—in my lap. And then she was beside me on the bed, and my heart was doing crazy crap in my chest. Such a human thing, but it was happening.

Kat breathed heavily. “This doesn’t change anything I’ve done. All of this is still my fault.”

Placing my hand on her stomach, I moved so close I was practically attached to her. And I wanted to be in so many different ways. “It’s not all your fault. It’s all of ours. And we’re in this together. We’ll face whatever is waiting for us together.”

“Us?”

I nodded, working on the buttons of her sweater. Some of them were buttoned incorrectly, and I laughed. Only Kat could have trouble putting clothes on correctly and somehow make it sexy. “If there is anything, there is us.”

Kat lifted her shoulders, and helped me get her out of the damn thing. Good. She was on board with where this was heading. “And what does ’us’ really mean?”

“You and me.” I moved down, tugging off her boots.

“No one else.”

Her cheeks flushed as she pulled off her socks and lay back down. Jesus, she still had on way too many clothes. “I…I kind of like the sound of that.”

“Kind of?” Bull. Shit. I slipped my hand down her stomach, to the hem of her shirt and underneath. I bit down on the inside of my cheek. The minor burn of pain did nothing. I loved the way her skin felt like satin. “Kind of isn’t good enough.”

“Okay. I do like that.”

“So do I.” I lowered my head, kissing her slowly. “I bet you love that.”

Her lips curved into a smile against mine. “I do.”

There was that damn constriction again, like I’d been punched in the chest, but in a good way. How you could be punched in a chest in a good way was beyond me, but damn, I sort of loved that feeling.

The sound that came from deep in my throat was more animal than Luxen or human. I kissed her still damp cheeks as she told me everything Blake had said and done, and I wanted to kill him all over again, but right now, I was with her and Kat was the only thing that mattered.

In between the kisses that unraveled me and then pieced me back together, I spoke things I never told anyone. How crazy I had felt after hearing Dawson was dead, and the hope I felt learning he had to be alive. I told her how badly I wished my parents were here, how sometimes I hated being the one who had to take care of things, and I admitted how jealous I had been when I saw her around Blake.

Everything I felt was in every touch and even what I didn’t see was in the way my fingers brushed over the fragile bones of her ribcage. And with every breathy, soft moan that escaped her lips, I was snared in her web a little more.

My hands shook as they moved up, and I hoped she didn’t notice. I was blown away, shattered by what she allowed me to do. Pieces of our clothing disappeared. My shirt. Hers. Kat’s hand drifted down my stomach, and I clenched my jaw so hard I was sure I was going to be paying a visit to a dentist soon.

When her fingers found the button on my jeans, I was completely lost to her, but in a way I never, ever expected.

“You have no idea how badly I want this,” I told her, bringing the tips of my fingers down her chest and over her stomach. So beautiful. “I think I’ve actually dreamed about it. Crazy, huh?”

She lifted a small hand, ru

Our explorations grew. Her hands were everywhere, and I urged her with words and touches to go further. Her leg curled around my hips—sweet, baby Jesus—I was nearly undone.

With my name on her lips and with barely anything separating us, I felt the last of my control slipping. Whitish-red light radiated off of me, bathing Kat in the warm glow. There was nowhere that my hands didn’t explore, and the way her body arched into the slightest touch, I was awed and consumed. Kissing her and drawing her deep inside me, I never wanted this to end. She was perfect to me. She was mine,and I wanted her more than I wanted anything in my life.

But I stopped.

Everything that had happened flipped through my head like a photo album I wanted to burn. Both our emotions were all over the place. There had been death, discovery, and so much more. And we were rushing headfirst into not turning back.

I didn’t want our first time to be like this—to be because of what happened.

My God, I wasa mushy pansy ass, but I stopped.

Kat stared up at me, ru

“You…you’re not going to believe me.” Hell, I didn’t believe it. In a couple of seconds, I was really going to regret this. “But I want to do this right.”

She started to smile. “I doubt you could do this wrong.”

Ha. “Yeah, I’m not talking about that. That I will do perfectly, but I want to…” Break out the subscription to the Hallmark Cha

Kat looked like she was going to cry again. I’d probably be crying soon, but for a totally different reason.

I cupped her cheek, exhaling roughly. “And the last thing I want to do is stop, but I want to take you out—go on a date or something.” I sounded like an idiot. “I don’t want what we’re about to do to be overshadowed by everything else.”

I think I might have blushed. Damn me.

Calling on every ounce of self-control I had, I did the unthinkable and lifted off her, easing down on my side. I wrapped an arm around her waist and tugged her close. I brushed my lips across her temple. “Okay?”

Kat tipped her head back, meeting my stare. Her throat worked on her next words. “I think I might love you.”

Air punched out of my lungs. I held her tight, and I knew right then I would burn down the whole universe for her if I had to. I would do anything to keep her safe. Kill. Heal. Die. Anything. Because she was my everything.