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“Adam didn’t get hurt. He died, Kat.”
A lump formed in my throat as I turned to him. His eyes glittered. “I… If I could go back, I’d change everything.”
Daemon shook his head as his gaze dropped to his open hands. He curled them into fists. “I know we don’t always get along, and I know the whole co
“I dotrust you. With my life,” I said, inching closer. “But once I thought he could possibly be involved with them, I didn’t want you involved. Blake knew and suspected too much already.”
He shook his head, as if he didn’t hear me. “I should’ve done more. When he threw that damn knife at you, I should’ve stepped in then and not backed down, but I was just so damn angry.”
Tears built in my eyes. How could I still cry or think it would make any of this better? Some papers on his desk stirred restlessly behind me. “I was trying to protect you.”
He lifted his eyes, and they pierced straight through me. “You wanted to keep me safe?”
“Yes.” I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “Not that it turned out that way in the end, but when I found out Blake and Vaughn were related, all I could think was that he played me—I let myself be played. And he knew how close we were. They’d do to you what they did to Dawson. There is no way I could have lived with that.”
Closing his eyes, he turned his head. “When did you know definitely that Blake was working with the DOD?”
It was the second time he’d ever said his name. That’s how serious things were. “On New Year’s Eve—Friday. Blake showed up while I was sleeping, and I saw Simon’s watch in his car. He says Simon’s still alive, that the DOD took him, but there…there was blood on his watch.”
Daemon cursed and then asked, “While you were sleeping? Did he do this often?”
I shook my head. “Not that I know of.”
“You should’ve never been worried about me getting hurt.” He stood, ru
“I know,” I said. “But I wasn’t going to knowingly put you at risk. You mean too much to me.”
His head swung toward me, eyes suddenly sharp. “And what does that mean, exactly?”
“I…” I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter now.”
“The hell it doesn’t!” he said. “You nearly destroyed my family, Kat. You almost got both of us killed, and none of this is over. Who knows how much time any of us have before the DOD comes? I let that dickhead go. He’s still out there, and as terrible as this sounds, I hope he gets what’s coming to him before he can report back to anyone.”
Daemon swore. “You lied to me! Are you telling me all of this is because I mean something to you?”
Heated blood crept across my face. Why was he making me do this? How I felt didn’t matter now. “Daemon…”
“Answer me!”
“Fine!” I threw my hands up in the air. “Yes, you mean something to me. What you did for me on Thanksgiving—that made me…” My voice cracked. “That made me happy. You made me happy. And I still care about you. Okay? You mean something to me—something I can’t really even put into words because everything seems too lame in comparison. I’ve always wanted you, even when I hated you. I want you even though you drive me freaking insane. And I know I screwed everything up. Not just for you and me, but for Dee.”
My breath caught on a sob. The words rushed from me, one after another. “And I never felt this way with anyone else. Like I’m falling every time I’m around you, like I can’t catch my breath, and I feel alive—not just standing around and letting my life walk past me. There’s been nothing like that with anyone else.” Tears pricked my eyes as I stepped back. My chest was swelling so fast it hurt. “But none of this matters, because I know you really hate me now. I understand that. I just wish I could go back and change everything! I—”
Daemon was suddenly in front of me, clasping my cheeks in his warm hands. “I never hated you.”
I blinked back the wetness gathering in my eyes. “But—”
“I don’t hate you now, Kat.” He stared intently into my eyes. “I’m mad at you—at myself. I’m so angry, I can taste it. I want to find Blake and rearrange parts of his body. But do you know what I thought about all day yesterday? All night? The one single thought I couldn’t escape, no matter how pissed off I am at you?”
“No,” I whispered.
“That I’m lucky, because the person I can’t get out of my head, the person who means more to me than I can stand, is still alive. She’s still there. And that’s you.”
A tear trailed down my cheek. Hope spread through me so fast it left me dizzy and breathless. The feeling was like taking a step off the edge of a cliff without seeing how far the fall would be. Dangerous. Exhilarating. “What…what does that mean?”
“I really don’t know.” His thumb chased after a tear on my cheek as he smiled slightly. “I don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring, what a year from now is going to be like. Hell, we may end up killing each other over something stupid next week. It’s a possibility. But all I do know is what I feel for you isn’t going anywhere.”
Hearing that only made me cry harder. He bent his head, kissing the tears away until he caught each of them with his breath. Then his lips found mine and the room fell away. The whole world disappeared for those precious moments. I wanted to throw myself into the kiss, but I couldn’t. I pulled away, dragging in air.
“How can you still want me?” I said.
Daemon pressed his forehead against mine. “Oh, I still want to strangle you. But I’m insane. You’re crazy. Maybe that’s why. We just make crazy together.”
“That makes no sense.”
“It kind of does, to me at least.” He kissed me again. “It might have to do with the fact you finally admitted you’re deeply and irrevocably in love with me.”
I let out a weak, shaky laugh. “I sodid not admit that.”
“Not in so many words, but we both know it’s true. And I’m okay with it.”
“You are?” I closed my eyes, breathing in what felt like the first real breath in months. Maybe years. “It’s the same for you?”
His answer was to kiss me…and to kiss me again. When he finally lifted his head, we were on his bed and I was in his arms. I had no recollection of moving. That was how good his kisses were. I had to wait until my heart slowed down. “This doesn’t change anything I’ve done. All of this is still my fault.”
Daemon was on his side beside me, his hand on the material covering my stomach. “It’s not all your fault. It’s all of ours. And we’re in this together. We’ll face whatever is waiting for us together.”
My heart did a wild dance at those words. “Us?”
He nodded, working on the buttons of my sweater, laughing softly when he came to where they were buttoned incorrectly. “If there is anything, there is us.”
I lifted my shoulders, and he helped me shrug out of the sweater. “And what does ’us’ really mean?”
“You and me.” Daemon moved down, tugging off my boots. “No one else.”
Blood pounded as I yanked off my socks and lay back down. “I…I kind of like the sound of that.”
“Kind of?” His hand was on my stomach, slipping down, moving under the hem of my shirt. “Kind of isn’t good enough.”
“Okay.” I jerked when his fingers splayed across my skin. “I do like that.”
“So do I.” He lowered his head, kissing me softly. “I bet you love that.”
My lips curved into a smile against his. “I do.”
Making a deep sound in the back of his throat, Daemon trailed kisses over my still-damp cheek that scalded my skin and lit a fire. We whispered to each other, the words slowly stitching together the aching hole in my chest. I think they were doing the same for him. I told him everything Blake had said and done. He told me how angry he’d been just seeing me around Blake, confused and even hurt. The truths he admitted, I kept them close to my heart.