The Knight

Garsecg said, “I doubt it.”

“Well, if they’re human bones ...”

“They were the bones of a woman. Before you woke, I found the pelvis. The pelvis always settles that question.”

“I wouldn’t think you’d know about that.”

“Because we see no human bones? I wish that you were correct. Do you also suppose that though your men sometimes enjoy Aelfmaidens, we in Aelfrice are never favored by human women?”

Baki wanted water too, and I brought her some. Her hands shook too bad for her to drink until I held the cup for her. I was thinking about Garsecg and what he had said and how he had sounded while she was drinking, and when she was finished I said it was none of my business, but maybe he had known some human girls?

“Yes, and seen their bones.”

I said, “I’m sorry.” I did not know what else to say.

“So am I. You are still young, Sir Able. You’ll find that life is a cruel business.”

“Let’s not make it any worse. Were you wanting to go down to those armories now?”

Garsecg shook his head.

“That’s good, because I’m not going to leave them until they feel better.”

When I said that, Baki whispered, “I’ll go with you.”

“As far as the armories, maybe. I think that ought to be all right.”

“Wherever you go, Lord.” Baki’s voice was so weak I could hardly hear her.

A voice like that should not scare anybody, but it scared me. I said, “Are you talking about going to fight Kulili? That’s crazy.”

“Wherever you go ...”

Garsecg said, “Do not argue with her, Sir Able. You’ll tire her.”

“All right.” I had way too much to think about, but I was trying to think about it just the same. “You said I was still young, and you’re right. I’m younger than you probably think. I don’t know if I told you I’d been to Aelfrice twice before, only one time I don’t remember it. We’re going to have lots of time now, it seems like. So I’d like to tell you.”

“Then do so.”

“Like I said, I don’t remember it. It’s not like I lost track of the time, I lost track of everything. I don’t know who I talked to, or what I did. I told a lady named Parka about it when I got back. It seemed like she was one of the Overcyns or something. Do you know her?”

He shook his head.

“She said I was supposed to know about the wrongs of the Aelf so I’d tell people up here. Did you know me when I was in Aelfrice before?”

“No. Do you think the Aelf stole your memories?”

“I guess they must have.”

“I ca

“I told her I didn’t like them. It didn’t make her mad or anything.”

His eyebrows went up. “Do you still feel that way?”

I shook my head.

“That is well. I was going to explain that it would be pointless of the Aelf to rob you of your memories when there was something they wished you to remember.”

“Can you do it? Take memories away?”

“I ca

“About America. My real name, and living there.”

Uri said, “Is America your real name?”

“It’s a place where I used to live. That was before I went to Aelfrice the first time.”

Garsecg said, “A bad place, since you would forget it if you could.”

“Not really. Only ...”

“Only what?”

“Only I’m like that girl in the movie. I can’t get it out of my head. I’m not going back, not even if I find the ruby slippers, because Disiri’s here and not there. But I wish I could just forget about it. Sometimes I think Bold Berthold was my real brother, you know? He wasn’t, but I think he was. I love him like he was, but I know he wasn’t.”

“Which you would like to forget.”

“Right. He used to be a big strong man with a big black beard. He’s told me about it, and he thinks I remember it. Then the giants came. The Angrborn. They hurt him really, really bad, and I don’t think he’ll ever get over it. I used to think that when people got sick, someday they’d be well. I may just be a kid, but I know better now.”

“You miss the man you never knew.”

“Yeah, sure. He was strong and smart and brave. We used to sit in his little hut at night—this is before Disiri—and he’d talk about things that had happened before he got hurt, and I could see what he had been like. I kept thinking it would be wonderful to be like that, only I never could be, not really.”

Baki sat up. She still looked pretty shaky. “You could never be what you are now?”

I tried to smile. It was not easy, but I tried and I guess I did it. “Oh, I’m plenty strong. Garsecg showed me all about the sea, so probably I’m stronger now than Bold Berthold ever was. But I’m not brave, and I’m not smart. Inside I’m still a kid. Outside I’m a man, I guess, or anyhow I look like one. But I was scared to death when we fought the Osterlings.”

Nobody said anything then, so I asked Garsecg if I had told him about that.

“No, but your dog did. You fought like a hero, and received the wound that the sea has healed.”

“But I was scared. I was scared to death. Our sailors were fighting them through the rope net we’d put up, and I shot through it until all my arrows were gone.”

“Slaying many.”

I nodded.

“Then that was the best thing you could do. My Sea Aelf do not use the bow, which is of no value under water; but your Disiri’s Moss Aelf are expert with it, and I have seen what slaughter one fine archer can make among his foes.”

“They cut through the net.” I was remembering a lot more than I was listening. “They were made of good tough ropes thicker than my thumb, but they cut them and our men were ru

Garsecg smiled. “It required no courage, I am sure.”

“That’s right. I had to. I had Sword Breaker, and I yelled and jumped off the castle and one stabbed me and I fell down.”

“Thus your ship was taken, and is now in the hands of the dreaded Osterlings.” Garsecg shook his head like he felt sorry for me. “I failed to notice any when I went aboard, but it was due to my inattention, I feel sure.”

“No, we chased them back onto their own boat. They cut the ropes and left some hooks behind, and—and went away.”

Uri rolled her head to look at me. “Why, Lord?”

“I guess they were afraid we’d take it and kill the rest of them. We might have, too, if they hadn’t cut the ropes.”

Garsecg said, “Then you have omitted something from your account. I suspected it all along. You spoke of your fear, Sir Able of the High Heart.”

“Yeah.”

“And of leaping from the sterncastle, sword in hand.”

I explained about its not being a sword.

“Sword Breaker in hand, in that case. After that you spoke of being stabbed. Through your armor, as I understand it from your dog. You fell, I suppose to the deck.”

I said yes.

“Yet your being stabbed and falling to the deck ca

I said I had hurt some people, hitting them with Sword Breaker and so on.

“Some Osterlings.”

“This isn’t what I wanted to talk about,” I told him, “this isn’t it at all. I want to say how brave Bold Berthold used to be, and how strong. Only when I knew him he wasn’t like that anymore. He was bent over, and sometimes he didn’t think quite right. His beard had white in it, and he didn’t want to go back to Griffins-ford to stay. Not ever. He just wanted to live in the forest where they couldn’t find him. But they did. They found him, and now he’s gone.” I had to wipe my eyes with my fingers then, and after a while I said, “I’m sorry.”

“For mourning the loss of your brother? The strongest may weep at such a time.”

“This is what I wanted to say. I think what Disiri did was to make me grow up the way I would have if I hadn’t been in Aelfrice.”