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Chapter 24
"This is ridiculous," Anakin said as soon as they were left alone in their quarters. They had already done a sweep to ensure that they were not under surveillance of any kind. "He's holding us hostage, expecting us to solve his business problems."
"True," Obi-Wan agreed.
"We're wasting time," Siri said, sounding as impatient as Anakin. "I hate wasting time. He's taking advantage of us, and he knows it."
"The codebreaker could make the difference for the Republic," Padme reminded them. "It's vital that we obtain it. Isn't that worth a little snooping?"
Siri threw down her survival pack with an irritable gesture. It thunked against the floor. Obi-Wan gave her a curious look. He had seen Siri be impatient before — many times, as a matter of fact — but there was an edge to her mood now that he couldn't identify.
"Well, we might as well start now," Anakin said. "Taly said he'd get us a list of the executives who have access to his private office. Until then, I'm going to take a look around, get a feel for the place."
"I'll join you," Padme said. "Maybe we can come up with something to go on."
The door hissed behind them. Siri's survival pack had snagged on the leg of a table, and when she tugged at it, some of the contents spilled out onto the floor. She gave it a swift kick for its disobedience.
Obi-Wan leaned down and gently unwound the strap of the pack from the table leg. "Are you angry at the pack, or the table? Or me?"
Siri sat on the floor and looked up at him. "I didn't think we'd have to stay here."
"Only for a day."
"A day can feel too long, if it's long enough. What do I know about corporate intrigue?" Siri growled. "I'm not the right Jedi for this job."
"You're the right Jedi for any job." Obi-Wan sat next to her on the floor. "What is it?"
"I just told you."
"No, you didn't."
She looked at him, chin first. Defensive, challenged, a
"Do you remember," she said, "in the cave, when I wanted to help him escape?"
Obi-Wan felt his breath catch. They had not talked of this in almost twenty years. The subject of the mission with Taly was too close to the reality of what had happened between them.
He kept his voice light. "One of our many arguments."
"What good did it do to have him testify?" Siri asked. "A bounty hunter alliance was smashed. Some bounty hunters went to prison worlds. I haven't kept track, but I bet some of them are free now. His parents were killed, and now look at him. Look at what that boy has turned into. This unstable, suspicious, bitter man who only cares about wealth and power. But inside, the boy is there, I feel it, and he's still in pain. Did you notice his office? The desk, the lamps? What did they remind you of?"
Obi-Wan shook his head, baffled.
"The two orange lights," Siri said softly. "The golden desk."
Obi-Wan let out a breath. "Cirrus. The two suns, the golden sea."
"He hasn't forgotten what he lost. Not for a minute," Siri said. "What if we'd let him go? What if he'd been allowed to grow up in a loving family?"
"Jedi do not deal in ifs."
Siri shook her head, exasperated. "Obi-Wan, for star's sake, you can irritate me like nobody else. Jedi don't become Generals in galactic-wide wars, either. Jedi don't watch their fellow Jedi be blown apart in great battles. Things have changed. Have you noticed?"
"Yes," Obi-Wan said quietly. "I've noticed. But I still don't believe that looking back and questioning decisions you made twenty years ago is helpful or fair."
"Once, for me, there were no questions, only answers," Siri said. As her mood altered, her brilliant blue eyes shifted to navy. He had forgotten how that happened, how the color of her eyes could deepen with her feelings. "I've changed. Now I question everything. I've seen too much, I fear too much of what the galaxy is becoming, " She turned her direct gaze to him. "Don't you ever look back and question what you did about something? Wonder if there was something you could have done differently?"
"That is a dangerous place for a Jedi to be," Obi-Wan said. "We do what we do, as Qui-Gon used to say."
"Qui-Gon lived in a different time," Siri said. She leaned her head back against the wall. "When Ferus was still with me, we went on a mission to Quas Killam, out in the very edge of the Mid-Rim. We were to oversee peace talks between two government factions who were trying to form a coalition. One side was a cartel that controlled much of the planet's supply of trinium, a mineral used in the manufacturing of weapons systems. Very important, and it made many Killams very rich. We oversaw the talks, saw a coalition government formed. A very successful mission. But Ferus said to me, Something isn't right here. The cartel made too many concessions. It's as though they know something we don't. And I said, What can we do? Our mission is done. Jedi do not interfere in planetary politics. And we have many places to go. I'm sure you've said the same to Anakin." Siri stopped. She sighed. "At the start of the Clone Wars, the Trade Federation worked in alliance with the head of that cartel to take over the government f Quas Killam. Now they own all the factories, all the mines of trinium. The Killams who were not in the cartel — many of them were killed. Many of them were forced to work in the factories."
"I've heard this of Quas Killam," Obi-Wan said. "Are you saying you could have prevented it?"
"I don't know," Siri brooded. "But what if I had stayed? What if I had observed a little more closely, wondered a little more? We know the Separatists and Count Dooku plant seeds. They're willing to wait years for results. They were preparing for this, while we were going on peace missions. What if we had listened better and did more years ago, when it would have had an impact? "
Obi-Wan shook his head. "Sin, you are asking too much of yourself. Of us all."
"You didn't answer my question," Siri said.
"Question?"
"Do you look back?"
Did he look back? Of course he did, all the time. Mostly about Anakin. At a time they should be closest, they were further apart than ever. What could he have done differently? Had he turned his face away from what he did not want to see? Anakin was still his Padawan, but Obi-Wan was hardly his Master. Anakin had gone to a place where Obi-Wan could not reach him. He had the sense of a creature held in check by a harness that was long-worn. One of these days Anakin would break free… a thought that chilled Obi-Wan. But Obi-Wan chose to ignore those thoughts — out of friendship.