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From time to time a shadow would cross Qui-Gon's face and Obi-Wan knew he was thinking of Tahl, who he had loved. Tahl had been killed during a mission to New Apsolon despite their intense efforts to find and save her. The pilot dimmed the lights for sleep. Still Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan did not move. They sat on their chairs, reluctant to move to the sleep area. A silence fell between them, as companionable as always. In the dark silence, Obi-Wan had asked the question that had been in his mind for months.
"Master, can you tell me something I am lacking? Something I ca
He could not see Qui-Gon's face clearly now. "Do you mean a flaw, Padawan?"
"Yes. You have told me that I worry too much, and I've tried to work on that."
"Ah. You mean you've worried about worrying too much?" Qui-Gon's voice was light. He was teasing him.
"I can be impatient with living beings, too. I know that. And sometimes, I'm a little too confident of my abilities, perhaps."
Now Qui-Gon's tone was serious. "These things are true, Obi-Wan, but they are not flaws. I have seen how hard you have worked. I've seen what you can accomplish."
"Then what is my flaw?" Obi-Wan asked.
There came a silence so long that Obi-Wan wondered if Qui-Gon had fallen asleep. Then his voice rose out of the darkness, soft and deep.
"You will be a great Jedi Knight, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I know that with every breath, with every beat of my heart. You will make me proud I was there at your begi
Twenty-three Years Later
Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker
Chapter 20
Obi-Wan had never understood the meaning of Qui-Gon's words. He had meant to ask him after the mission was over. He had puzzled over the words, forgotten them, remembered them again, pushed them away only to have them reappear in his mind.
And now, they haunted him.
The Clone Wars had begun. The galaxy had fractured and the Republic was threatening to split apart. They had discovered that the former Jedi, Count Dooku, was leading the Separatists. Many Jedi had lost their lives on Geonosis six months earlier. The tragedy of that battle infused the Temple, made every Jedi walk with a heavy step. Their vision had been clouded for so long. They realized this, yet their vision did not clear. It was as though a dark curtain was draped over the Temple.
And something had changed within Anakin Skywalker. Something that made Obi-Wan uneasy. And now a worry had been pushed to the forefront of his mind — had his love for Qui-Gon blinded him to the faults in Anakin for too long?
The uneasiness he felt about Anakin, the sense of dull dread that had the power to wake him up from a deep sleep, now had a partner: the conviction that it was too late to do anything about it.
His Master could not have foreseen all that had taken place. Yet he had placed a sure finger on the spot that was most vulnerable in Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan had opened his heart to Anakin because of Qui-Gon's belief that Anakin was the chosen one. Had he tried too hard? Had he overlooked what he should not have overlooked?
Love had never blinded Qui-Gon. But it has blinded me.
There was too great a distance between him and Anakin now, at a time when he needed to keep his Padawan even closer than before. Every instinct told him that Anakin had been profoundly changed while they were apart before the Battle of Geonosis. He knew that Anakin had been to Tatooine and he knew Anakin's mother was dead. He knew that a bond had grown between Anakin and the brilliant Senator Padme Amidala.
He sensed that some of the change was for the better. Some not. It was as if Anakin had grown harder — and more secretive. One thing Obi-Wan saw clearly: Anakin had lost his boyishness. He was a man now.
Whatever the changes were, they did not bring Anakin peace. Obi-Wan sensed his Padawan's restlessness, his impatience. He saw that Anakin no longer felt the same sense of peace from the Temple. He always wanted to be moving. He always wanted to be somewhere else.
Obi-Wan stood in the doorway of the Map Room of the Temple, watching Anakin. This was a place Anakin came when his mind was restless. For some reason his Padawan found it calming to set dozens of holographic planets spi
Anakin had grown quite adept at this game, Obi-Wan saw. Holograms whirled around his head like angry insects. The voices were a confusing blur to Obi-Wan. He couldn't imagine why someone would find peace during this. As he watched, Anakin lifted a finger and added another planet to the mix.
"Anakin."
Anakin did not turn. Most beings would. Instead he lifted a hand. One by one the planet holograms disappeared, the voices cut off until the last solitary voice was silenced. Obi-Wan noted that it had been intoning the precious metals of Naboo. Anakin stood and turned.
Obi-Wan could see that Anakin was still not used to his new artificial hand. He hugged that arm a little closer to his body. The sight tore at Obi-Wan's heart.
"Master."
"Master Yoda has requested our presence."
"A mission?"
"I do not know."
Over the past weeks there had been much to do, too much to plan — too many battles. The Jedi Council held constant strategy sessions. It was necessary to carefully place the Jedi where they were most needed.
Systems and planets were now vulnerable, and many were highly strategic. The Separatists were gaining new planets with a combination of coercion and force. Supreme Chancellor Palpatine pledged to help planets loyal to the Republic.
"You go to the Map Room when you are troubled by something," Obi-Wan said as they walked. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Anakin made a restless gesture. "What is the good of talking?"
"It can be very good," Obi-Wan said gently. "Anakin, I see that the past months have marked you. I am your Master. I am here to help you in any way I can."
He could see his Padawan only in profile, but Anakin's mouth tightened. "I have seen things I wish I had not seen. I did not think so many Jedi could die. I did not think a once-great Jedi Master could fall so far."
"Count Dooku's fall has troubled us all," Obi-Wan acknowledged. "Now we have a great and powerful enemy." His thoughts turned to his battle with Dooku. He had never met such power in battle before. He had never come up against something that had completely overpowered him. Even meeting the Sith Lord who had killed Qui-Gon had not been the same. If only Qui-Gon were alive, to give them insights into Dooku. Now Obi-Wan thought back and wondered why Qui-Gon had never spoken of his Master.