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Darra was dead.
Obi-Wan knelt in front of her. Her eyes were closed, her face composed and impossibly calm. Anakin watched as Soara very gently unraveled Darra's Padawan braid. She plucked the bright ribbon from the coils of soft hair and held it in her fist. Tears streaked down her face. Anakin could never have imagined seeing Soara Antana, fabled warrior, in tears.
Anakin heard Darra's voice rise like a cry inside him. Stay with me until I fall asleep. It's lonely here.
Chapter Twenty-two
The Great Hall seemed more vast, the journey to the Council room longer than Obi-Wan ever remembered. His legs had never felt so heavy. He walked without seeing. He felt strangely numb. He had never felt so tired.
He knew about the rumors at the Temple. He knew that Tru's lightsaber had been faulty, that Ferus had fixed it secretly, that neither of them had told their Masters. He knew that Tru had been censured. Ferus was in seclusion but would be facing the Council directly after Obi-Wan.
He knew these things, and he knew that in the eyes of the Council, the mission had succeeded, in part. They had caught Granta Omega. Zan Arbor had escaped, but the Council felt she was easier to track.
Without Omega's wealth, she would not find it easy to hide.
They had missed uncovering the identity of the Sith, but the Council did not fault them. They had been close to him. They had uncovered one of the planets that sheltered him. They had taken a small step forward.
He should feel some sense of satisfaction, but he did not. Obi-Wan found himself wondering about things he had not thought about since Qui- Gon's death.
Was the loss of Darra's life worth what they had obtained?
Was there something he should have done that he did not do?
Had the first vision of Qui-Gon in the tomb come from the Sith, or deep within him?
Had he failed?
Darra's death would once have been an aberration. Why did he feel it was a portent? With every second that passed, he felt more death approach.
Time and again he had to shake off the memory of Granta Omega curling up like a child as he let go of life. What could he have been, if he had not been in the grip of his obsession? The Sith found weakness and exploited it. They took a flaw and twisted it into a weapon. Whoever the Sith was, he had goaded Omega, used him, and abandoned him. How could the Jedi fight someone who had no mercy for anyone or anything?
Over the last few days, Anakin had retreated to the Map Room where he liked to meditate. Obi-Wan couldn't put his finger on it, but he felt that somehow Anakin was involved in what had happened to Darra. Not directly, but somehow…
He hated himself for having this feeling. Of course, if that were true his Padawan would have told him.
Obi-Wan found himself outside the Council Room doors. He tried to clear his mind before he entered. Some days it was difficult meeting so many Jedi gifted in Force-sensitivity at once.
The doors slid open. The full Council had assembled. The members all acknowledged Obi-Wan as he took his place in the middle of the room, where he had stood so many times.
"A sad conclusion to the mission, it was," Yoda said. "Grieving are all of us."
"Darra Thel-Tanis has joined the Force," Mace said. "We will celebrate her life."
"Uneasy we are with the conduct of the two Padawans, Ferus Olin and Tru Veld," Yoda said.
Adi Gallia nodded. "We have reconsidered our decision to speed up the trials for chosen Padawans. We fear we put too much pressure on them."
"We need additional Jedi, it's true," Oppo Rancisis said. "But we see now that we ca
"Mistakes we ca
Yoda peered at Obi-Wan. "Something to share with us, you have?"
Obi-Wan hesitated. He had doubts. He had fears. He had sorrows. But this was not the place.
"No, Master Yoda," he said.
"Disappointed your Padawan will be, to hear that we have cancelled our plans to accelerate Knighthood," Yoda said.
"Yes, Anakin will be disappointed," Obi-Wan said. "He is not good at waiting."
"Then wait, he should," Yoda said, nodding.
"Thank you, Master Kenobi," Mace said. "You may send in Ferus Olin."
Obi-Wan bowed and retreated. When he walked into the outer chamber, Ferus stood.
"They are ready for you," Obi-Wan told him.
Ferus turned a face to him full of such misery and heartbreak that Obi-Wan was moved.
"You are not here to be punished, least of all by yourself," Obi-Wan told him.
"I must go on living," Ferus responded. "That is my punishment."
Chapter Twenty-three
Anakin waited until he saw Obi-Wan leave the outer chamber. He wasn't ready to talk to his Master yet. He waited until Obi-Wan was gone, then slipped inside.
He didn't want to see Ferus face-to-face, but he had to find out what was going on. What would the Council do? Now, of all times, Anakin felt a strange attachment to his fellow Padawan.
The shock of Darra's death hadn't worn off. He still couldn't grasp it. He still couldn't believe it wasn't possible to see her again, to hear her voice. If the Force was so powerful, why couldn't it stop death? Why couldn't he break through that wall and see his friend again?
He felt a rustle behind him, and saw Tru backing out of the chamber.
"Tru!" Anakin called. Reluctantly, Tru edged in a few steps. "Do you know anything?"
Tru shook his head. He didn't quite meet Anakin's eyes.
"I haven't seen much of you since we've been back," Anakin said.
"I know."
"I'm sorry about the censure."
"I deserved it."
The question burned on Anakin's tongue. "Why did you go to Ferus instead of me to fix your lightsaber? I would have done a better job."
"I didn't go to Ferus," Tru said. "He came to me. He had noticed that it was on half-power at the end of the battle in the monastery. But I wouldn't have gone to you because I wouldn't have wanted to get you in trouble. You would have kept my secret. Just like Ferus did. I was wrong not to tell my Master. I was wrong to let Ferus stay silent. I was just about as wrong as I could be."