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"What a pleasure to greet you again, Qui-Gon."
Everyone froze. The mockery that ran through the deep voice alerted even Ali-Ala
"What do you want?" Qui-Gon asked tersely.
"My transport," Xanatos answered smoothly. "Fully fueled, on the spaceport landing platform. And no one around to follow me."
"Why should I give you this?" Qui-Gon asked scornfully.
"Hmmm. An interesting question. Perhaps because I have bumped into a friend of yours in the water tu
It took a moment, no more, for Obi-Wan to realize who Xanatos meant.
Bant. He had kidnapped Bant.
Qui-Gon squeezed the comlink so hard that Obi-Wan was surprised it didn't shatter. Tahl grabbed the doorframe. Garen took a step forward, as if he could reach through the comlink and grapple with Xanatos. Only Obi-Wan did not move. His blood had turned to ice, his muscles to stone.
"So do we have a deal?" Xanatos asked. "My transport, and I send the girl back to you. I'll give you fifteen minutes. That is all."
"How do I know you have Bant?" Qui-Gon asked.
Seconds later, a firm, high voice came over the comlink. "Qui-Gon, don't do it. I'm fine. I don't want you to — "
Bant's voice was cut off abruptly. The comlink went dead.
Qui-Gon went inside Tahl's quarters to confer with her. Ali-Ala
It was as though his body had taken over, refusing to listen to his mind. No matter how forcefully he told his legs to move, they would not.
Never before had this happened, not during battle, not even when Cerasi had been killed in front of his eyes.
The words passed through his mind rapidly, like figures streaming across a data screen.
My fault. My fault. Bant will die. She will die. Xanatos is merciless.
She will die. And again it will be my fault.
Bant and Cerasi merged in his mind. His grief was a howl inside his body. It tore at his stomach, his throat, and yet he could not let it loose.
The loss of Cerasi rushed through him, as keen as the moment he had seen the life ebb in her crystal green eyes. She was gone to him forever. For the rest of his days, he would think of her, need her, turn to say something to her, decide to contact her.. and he would never be able to reach her again.
He loved Bant as he had loved Cerasi. How could he have spoken so harshly to her? How could he have suspected the most loving heart he knew of plotting against him? She would never have tried to take his place with Qui-Gon. He knew that as surely as he knew his own name. He had spoken out of bitterness, out of fatigue, out of his own shame, out of everything but truth.
Bant always spoke the truth. What a valuable friend she was.
And he would lose her. He would lose her forever.
My fault.
If Bant died, the grief would destroy him.
He bent over and stared at the floor, his heart racing as though he'd just fought a battle. He gulped down his panic, but he could not make it go away. Instead it rose in his throat again and again, choking him.
He heard footsteps approach him, then pause. He recognized Qui-Gon's step.
No. Don't let him see me this way.
He struggled to compose himself. But the panic was too real. The fear squeezed his throat, cramped his muscles.
He could not move.
He saw Qui-Gon's boots stop in front of him. Then, to his surprise, the large man crouched next to him. His voice was close to his ear.
"It is all right, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said gently. "I understand."
Obi-Wan shook his head. Qui-Gon could not possibly understand.
"Never fear your feelings, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said. "They can guide you if you control them."
"I — | can't." Obi-Wan forced the words out. How he hated to admit his weakness to Qui-Gon! But he could not lie.
"Yes, you can," Qui-Gon said with the same gentleness. "I know you can.
You are a Jedi. You will focus. You will reach your calm center. Do not try to tamp down the fear. Do not let it grip you. If you let it move through you, it will leave you. Breathe."
Obi-Wan breathed. A tiny part of the panic loosened its grip. He breathed again, and felt the fear rise. This time he did not battle it. He pictured it rising on his breath, leaving his body. His muscles loosened slightly.
"We will rescue Bant," Qui-Gon continued. "We will defeat Xanatos. We will bring him down."
The panic was lessening. But not the shame.
"I hurt her." The words were jerky, forced out on a hiccup of air. "I made her run away."
"Ah." Qui-Gon paused. "Did you send her to Xanatos? Speaking sharply to a friend is wrong, Obi-Wan. It is cause for an apology. But it is not cause to be responsible for what happens afterward. Bant knows that. Her kidnapping is not your fault, and she would be the first to say so. She knows she should not use the water tu
Obi-Wan kept his eyes on the floor. He grabbed onto Qui-Gon's calmness like a raft. He strove to find it within himself. He knew that Qui-Gon was frantic to find Bant, was full of anxiety to rid the Temple of Xanatos. Yet Qui-Gon crouched next to him, perfectly willing to wait out his panic.
"You want to return to the Jedi," Qui-Gon continued. "Now be a Jedi.
This is the moment. This is exactly the moment when you must. The very worst time is the time you must follow the Code. Cast away your doubt. Let the Force flow through you."
Obi-Wan lifted his head and met Qui-Gon's steady gaze. Now he could feel the Force move between them, gather itself and surround them. He knew that together they could defeat Xanatos. He was able to cast doubt aside and believe.
Qui-Gon saw the change in his face. "Are you ready?"
Obi-Wan nodded.
"Then come." Qui-Gon stood. Obi-Wan found that his legs moved easily.
The strange paralysis was gone.
"What are we going to do?" Obi-Wan asked.
"When your enemy strikes unexpectedly, things change," Qui-Gon said.