Voices of Dragons

Here it was. Moment of truth. How little could she tell without him guessing the rest? And if he guessed the rest, what would he do?

“I need a really big favor,” she said, wincing, because that didn’t even begin to cover what she was asking him to do.

“Sure. What?”

Suddenly, she didn’t want to bring him into this. She didn’t want to get him in trouble or put him in danger. This was asking too much. “You can say no. If you don’t want to do it, that’s okay. But you can’t tell anyone. Okay? I’ll find another way, but you can’t tell anyone.”

He frowned, worried. “Kay, just tell me what it is. You’ve been acting weird for weeks.”

She supposed she had. She hadn’t realized it showed. Grimly, she moved forward. “Tomorrow morning, as early as you can, I need you to take all this out and hide it in the woods, near the stream where it comes down along the border. I’ve got GPS coordinates marked on a map here.” She dug the topographic map out of the bag, handed it to him. “Mark it with a ribbon in a tree or something.”

“Why? What are you doing that you can’t take it yourself?”

“I don’t want anyone to see me with it. They’ll know what I’m pla

“Surprise who? Who’s going to see you?”

“The military’s watching me. It’s a long story. It’s too long to explain. But can you please just do this?”

He hesitated, but he put his hands on the rope when she pushed the coils toward him. He studied the map. “So I hide the ropes out there. Kay, this is right next to the border, there’s no way I can get out there. There’s no way either of us can get out there.”

She shook her head. “If you go early and you’re careful, you’ll be fine.”

“What about you?”

“I just have to do this.”

His eyes grew wide, and her stomach did a flip-flop, because he was too smart for her to fool him. It was one of the things she liked about him.

“You’re going across the border? Kay, why? What’s that going to accomplish? You think you can go talk to them? Yell at them for killing your dad or what?”

“I’ve been crossing the border for months,” she said softly.

For a long moment, he stared. She felt awful, because she’d been lying to him all this time. But she couldn’t have told him the truth before now. The whole truth still caught in her throat—she couldn’t tell him about Artegal. That secret wasn’t only hers to tell.

“All those times you said you were off hiking by yourself, that’s where you were,” he said finally.

“Yeah.”

He chuckled, a harsh sound. “I guess I’m relieved. I thought maybe you were hiding another boyfriend somewhere.”

She huffed. “Who would that possibly be? There’s nobody else. I’m still the only virgin at Silver River High.”

“No, you’re not,” he said.

She felt a warm flush. Glancing at him, she put her hand over his, where it rested on the ropes.

“So,” he said, looking at their hands together, but not moving. “Have you ever seen a dragon? Up close, I mean.”

She didn’t answer, which was answer enough.

“And why do you want to go back now? When the military is watching and jets could be bombing you any minute—”

“I have to do something. The military found out what I’ve been doing, and they want me to spy, but I can’t because if there’s even a chance I can stop this, I have to try.”

“Kay, there’s a reason we’re bombing them. Those things killed your dad!”

Her eyes stung. She hadn’t cried enough over this. But there was too much to do, she couldn’t stop to cry. When she spoke again, her voice cracked. “And how is sitting around being angry about it while the whole world goes up in smoke going to change that?”

She wanted to think that her father would understand. That he’d want her to try to stop this. That he’d be proud of her.

“What does this have to do with going over to Dragon?” he said, indicating the ropes and harness.

If he knew, he wouldn’t do it. He wouldn’t help her. He’d be like her mother, horrified that she had put herself in so much danger, supposedly just for a thrill. Apparently, rock climbing was one thing. Dragon riding was completely different.

“I just need to,” she said, and left it at that.

He frowned, but he loaded the gear into his truck. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

So did she.

When they finished, she said, “I wasn’t kidding. I’d still like to go for a walk, if you want. We can stay along the road, where we can see.” The sky was a deep, dark blue, the light of day almost gone.

Jon glanced at his watch. “It’s an hour ’til curfew. It’ll have to be short.”

“That’s okay.”

Side by side, they set off. Jon fumbled until he found her hand, then clasped it tight. They went a hundred yards in silence. Kay realized her hand was stiff in his, because she was nervous. More than nervous—scared. Terrified. She didn’t have to do this; she could walk away. But she remembered what the pilot, Captain Co

She had to try, or she would have to watch this war get worse and wonder if she could have stopped it.

“If Tam knew we were out here, she’d start spreading all kinds of rumors about what we were up to,” Jon said. “Your reputation would be ruined.”

“Maybe that would be a good thing. She’d stop nagging me.”

“She nags you?”

“She thinks everyone ought to sleep with somebody.”

“What do you think?” He looked at her, his gaze searching.

“I don’t know,” she said after a moment. She was suddenly warm, and if she closed her eyes, she could feel Jon studying her. “I think I don’t want to do it just because everyone else is.”

After another long hesitation, Jon asked, “Do you ever think about it? Do you ever want to?”

She remembered something Tam had said about dying a virgin, thought about what she was going to be doing tomorrow, and wondered if she and Jon should run off into the woods and have sex right now. That wasn’t how she imagined them sleeping together for the first time—not that she was sure how she’d ever imagined it. Like it was in the movies or in the romance novels her friends used to pass around with the corners turned down on the pages with sex scenes. Something full of passion, on a bed with big fluffy pillows and candles burning. Not out in the cold, scared, worried, distracted.

“Yeah,” she admitted finally. “Sometimes. Then sometimes I just can’t picture myself, you know, having sex.”

Jon spoke softly, “I think about it a lot.”

She watched her feet, scuffing the dirt, unable to look back at the intensity in his eyes. “Tam says it’s the best thing in the world. Half the time I don’t think she knows what she’s talking about. She doesn’t think it’s normal for two people to go out and not sleep together.”

“What about you?”

Her whole body felt flushed, being so close to Jon, having this conversation. Something in her, some loud voice—it didn’t even sound like Tam—whispered, Come on, just turn your face. Just look at him. Just kiss him. Just turn and kiss him. Think of how wonderful kissing him would be.

She gripped his hand more firmly. “I keep waiting for something to tell me it’s the right time. I keep thinking I’ll get some sign telling me when I’m ready.”

“And what if you don’t? I mean, does it really work like that?”

She tried to figure out if he was trying to tell her that he wanted to sleep with her and that he wanted to do it now but couldn’t find the words.

“Are you trying to tell me something, Jon?” she said, because she was too tired and confused to work it out on her own.

They walked a few more steps, arms brushing, closer than ever, even though it was awkward with them both wearing heavy coats and bundled against the cold. He said, “Just thinking out loud.”