Dead To Me

11

Since I wasn’t used to having guests in my loft, I spent the rest of my night staring at my ceiling, tossing, turning, and wondering if Irene was also lying awake off in my guest room. Exhaustion eventually washed over me, though, and before I knew it, I awoke to the shrill cry of the alarm going off. I crept to the open door of the guest room, where I could make out the curled-up shape of Irene. I wasn’t sure what the cosmic rules were concerning the sleeping habits of ghosts, but Irene was resting peacefully on top of the sheets, hovering over them slightly. I didn’t have the heart to wake her before I left. What was she going to do with herself if I did wake her anyway? Float around the office until I had figured out what exactly to do with her? She was better off hidden here in my apartment.

When I caught up with Co

We jumped a cab on Eleventh Street and rode uptown to Columbus Circle. Although Irene’s building was in the Seventies, we got out near Trump’s latest eyesore and walked along the tree-lined length of Central Park West until we came across her building, which was a far better architectural wonder. The Westmore looked as if it were straight out of a Tim Burton movie. Gothic-era gargoyles with their mouths agape laughed at some sinister secret.

We entered the Westmore’s red and gold lobby and were confronted with an elderly doorman whose dusty jacket looked like it had seen better days. A button was missing from the front of it, and judging by the size of his pot belly, I could imagine it had flown across the room whenever it had popped. We didn’t have a game plan for getting past him, but Co

“All yours, kid,” he said, and leaned against the wall with his arms folded.

I stepped forward to the tiny counter the man stood behind. His hand moved automatically for the house phone.

“Whose apartment may I ring for you, sir?”

“Irene Blatt, please,” I said. It killed me just saying her last name.

A look crossed the old man’s face and he lowered the phone back to its cradle. “I’m sorry, but I’m not sure if Ms. Blatt is in right now.”

Sincewe knew that the lady of the house was dead, andI knew her spirit was holed up in my apartment, I was pretty sure that Irene wouldn’t be answering her phone.

Co

“Excuse us a moment, won’t you, Simon?” he said. I moved away from the reception area, and Co

“Sorry ’bout that, kid,” Co

“What the hell did you do to him down there?” I asked.

“Sorry, kid. Classified.”

I was hoping for more of a clue as to what had just transpired, but the look on his face told me it wasn’t up for discussion.

After several silent floors, he changed the subject. “The view of Central Park must be spectacular.”

“For what it probably costs to live here, the view better be,” I said.

The elevator slowed and the doors slid open with a gentlebing onto an enormous hallway that could have easily held my whole apartment. There were only three doors. One was markedSTAIRS, and the other two were set on either side of the elevator. When we stepped out, Co

“Let me handle this, kid,” Co

I pulled my arm away. I was pissed at him for taking charge again. How was I supposed to learnanything with him always taking the lead? I could have handled anyone who answered the door, dammit.

Co

And waited.

And waited.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” I said after the first minute had passed, and pushed Co

I slid two of the strips into the keyhole and flexed my fingers slightly as I felt around for the tumblers. Co

“What?” I said. “Clearly no one’s home and I don’t think Irene would mind if we had a look around.”

“Did you requisition those from the supply room?” Co

“No,” I said testily. “They’re mine. Holdovers from my days as a petty thief.”

“Did they get rid of the screening process in HR?”

“Can I help it that some of my criminal skills come in handy every so often? Besides, breaking and entering in the name of Good feels a whole lot better.”

“May I remind you that it’s still breaking and entering?”

“Not if we’ve got permission from the owner!” I fired back. “And we’ve got it.”

“I’d love to see you explain it to the cops,” Co

There was no love lost between the Department of Extraordinary Affairs and the NYPD. The NYPD resented us because they had been told countless times by David Davidson at the Office of Plausible Deniability that we didn’t even exist, and yet they were still supposed to cooperate with us.

“Irene’s not totally dead,” I reminded Co

I continued searching for the right combination of positions within the lock, but I was rusty with the whole lock-picking thing.

“She seems pretty dead to me, kid,” he said, leaning against the wall as I worked. “We’ll probably find pictures of her husband and kids in here, too. One big happy family. One big happy family who’ll come home in the middle of our breaking and entering, and demand an explanation as to why we’re in their apartment.”

“She’snot married,” I said, wishing I didn’t sound so defensive.

“How do you knowthat?” Co

I tried to ignore him and threw all my concentration into picking the lock-and was rewarded when the tumblers finally clicked. I hadn’t picked a lock in forever, wasn’t even sure I’d be able to until it happened just now, but I felt a little swell of pride at the familiar sound of a door giving way.

“I’m shocked,” Co

I nodded. “I think so. I bet the F.O.G.ies have already blacklisted me because of it.”

“You’ve only been with the D.E.A. a few months,” Co

“Well,” I said as I motioned for Co

“They took Inspectre Quimbley, kid, so I’m not so sure about that.”

I rolled my eyes, but the effect was lost on Co