Dead To Me

“Simon!” he shouted. He grabbed a napkin from the table and begi

She stared at me and I shrugged sheepishly, and then we both looked to Co

“I’m sorry about what the kid did there,” Co

A look of absolute confusion spread across her face.

“Dead and all…?” she repeated. Her voice was quiet but refined.

She looked around quickly to see if perhaps Co

“Oh crap,” I said. I felt like a deer caught in the headlights. “Co

I looked to Co

I had to say something, though. “Who’s dead?” I repeated. “Well…you are.”

The woman’s face scrunched up in immediate disbelief. She laughed.

“Oh, I don’t think so!” she said. Then, with total conviction, “No, absolutely not.”

“Hrmh,” Co

“What sort of problem?” the woman asked, nervousness creeping into her voice. “The spill? It’s nothing, really. I’m sure a good dry cleaner will be able to get the stain out. If you’d be kind enough to pick up the dry cleaning bill, I’m sure everything will be-”

“Look at your clothes,” Co

The woman looked as if she had been slapped in the face.

“Excuse me?” she said.

I found myself taken aback by his interruption, surprised by the gruffness of it. He certainly could have handled it with a gentler tone, but remembering that the deceased were his bailiwick, I held my tongue and let him work.

“Just…” Co

The woman looked down at her outfit, and her eyes widened as she finally noticed what Co

Co

Co

I worried that the people around us might have noticed the cup go flying through the woman and I checked the rest of the coffee shop. Normal customers who had simply stopped in for a cup of coffee, a stale muffin, and nothing paranormal had momentarily turned their attention toward us, but only because of the noise from kicking over the table. Everyone had quickly turned back to their conversations. Had I remembered my training better, it made perfect sense. The Department’s orientation pamphlet,D.E.A. or DOA: Your Choice, stated that most regular folk were ill equipped for dealing with this sort of supernatural situation. Yes, they sensed something out of the ordinary, but their minds were protective of their sanity and made them happily oblivious to things such as this woman’s unlivingness. If I polled them about what was wrong, they simply wouldn’t be able to put their finger on it. Instead, they would grumble about how crumbly the muffins were or that their coffee needed freshening up. Nothing out of the ordinary for them, thanks.

“Maybe we better take this out back?” I suggested. Co

“Miss?” Co

Admittedly, I was, too. The only thing that made sense right now was taking this situation out of the front room of the Lovecraft Cafй. It was perhaps the best idea I had come up with during the entire encounter. Things would be better once we were out back in the Department’s offices.

Being the well-meaning gentleman that I am these days, I tried to help the woman up from the couch by taking her arm. My hand passed effortlessly through it and a shock tingled through my fingers, startling her. Co

“Please don’t do that,” he warned.

“Why not?”

“Because you might force me to say ‘please don’t do that’ again,” he said, agitated.

“Oh.”

I had never experienced such a sensation before. My fingers continued to tingle as if they were charged with electricity. In the reflection of the glass covering a Bogart poster on the wall, I checked my hair to make sure that I hadn’t suddenly become a member of the White Stripes. Luckily, I was fine.

I turned my attention back to the situation. Co

My heart softened as she attempted to smile back despite the obvious stress this situation caused her.

“It’s Irene…I think.”

Co

“I’m notthat young,” I mumbled. Co

“If you’d just follow us back to our offices,” he said, “I think that I or one of our other ‘guidance’ counselors can help make sense out of everything you’re experiencing.”

Irene cocked her head, distrustful. She looked far from convinced, and I didn’t blame her. How would I react to being told that I was dead? Probably far worse than she was.

“We’re here to help,” Co

He reached into his right pocket and pulled out a small vial like the one from the other night, and twisted its stopper free with a well-practiced motion. I watched as the same smoky haze rose from the vial and twisted dreamily around Irene’s head. The familiar smell of patchouli and cloves hit my nostrils, and the woman’s face went slack. She rose from the couch like smoke rising from a fire. Just like that, Co

Co