Over My Dead Body

"You say Miss Tormic was supposed to be fencing with Mr Ludlow. Why supposed? Isn't it known whether she was or not?"

"It may be known, but not by me. I was down in the office with Mr and Mrs Miltan when the porter found the body and started a squawk. After that I had no chance to talk with Miss Tormic or anybody else."

The telephone rang. I plugged in the kitchen extension and we heard faintly Fritz's voice taking the call.

Wolfe leaned back and sighed. "Very well," he muttered. "Tell me about it. From the moment you got there until you left. No omissions."

I did so.

Chapter Five

At a quarter to ten we finally left the dining-table, returned to the office, switched on the lights, and sat down to wait. Various developments had occurred. The doorbell had rung three times, unheeded, and the phone somewhat oftener. At the finish of the salad I had left Wolfe alone with the green tomato pie and gone to the darkened front room for a peek around the window curtain. Two men in plain clothes were on the sidewalk, standing there with their hands in their pockets, looking chilly and frustrated. I gave them a Bronx cheer and went to the kitchen and used the phone. Joh

Our wait, after we returned to the office, was a short one. We hadn't been there more than five minutes when the doorbell called me to the front. As I opened the door I was expecting a brace of sergeants at the most, and was really surprised when I saw a single familiar figure confronting me, with a felt hat cocked over one of the half-buried, irate eyes, and an unlit cigar tilted up from a corner of the wide, determined mouth.

"Honoured," I declared, standing aside to give him passage. "Deeply honoured."

"Go to hell," Inspector Cramer growled, entering. I shut the door and took his hat and coat and disposed of them, and followed him into the office.

Wolfe offered a hand, greeted him nicely, and said this was a pleasure he hadn't had for some months.

"Yeah. Quite a pleasure." Cramer sat down, took the cigar from his mouth, scowled at me, replaced the cigar at a better angle, and spoke.

"Where have you been, Goodwin?" He was practically snarling. Before I could reply he went on: "Forget it. If I already knew you'd tell me, and if I didn't you wouldn't." He removed the cigar again and leaned at me. "You're the most damn contrary pest within my knowledge. Twenty times I've had you under my feet when I was busy and had no use for you. Now I go to look at a murder and I am told that an important witness has calmly took his hat and coat and departed, and, by God, it turns out to be you! The one time you're supposed to be there, you're not! I've told you before that I'd throw you in the jug for a nickel. This time I'd do it for nothing!"

I inquired, "Did you find Arthur?"

"We found-none of your damn business what we found. What did you run away for?"

"Because I wanted to." I requisitioned a friendly grin for him. "Look, Inspector, you know perfectly well you're just being rhetorical. I ran away to keep from losing my job. Mr Wolfe had sent me there on an errand with instructions to report back when the errand was finished. It was finished, and, as you know, Mr Wolfe doesn't take an excuse. By the way, I left my car there, parked on 48th-"

"Nuts. Why did you beat it?"

"I'm telling you. I would have been kept there till midnight, and for nobody's benefit, because there were a dozen people there who knew more than I did about the murder, and at least one of them a lot more." I let my voice rise a little in indignation. "I helped out all I could, didn't I? Didn't I guard the front door until the radio and precinct guys-"

I stopped short.

"Uh-huh." Cramer nodded grimly. "Just occurred to you, huh? Brain slowed up on you? I thought of that a long while ago, all by myself. What was it, Goodwin? What was it that happened between the time the precinct men arrived and the time you took your overcoat from the rack?"

"Nothing happened."

"Yes, it did. I want to know what it was."

"Nothing, except that when a cop relieved me at the door there was nothing I could do to help, and you know damn well what Mr Wolfe is like if I let anything interfere with his business."

He glared at me. Then he slid back to a more comfortable position in the big leather chair, looked at Wolfe, and slowly shook his head. "I'm tired out," he said resentfully. "I was up most of last night on the Arlen case, and I was going to bed at eight o'clock, and now here's this, and I find you're in on it even before it happens, and you can guess how pure and simple that makes it seem like."

"I can assure you," Wolfe said sympathetically, "that Mr Goodwin's errand was neither to prevent nor to provoke murder. We really didn't know there was to be one."

"Oh, I know all about his errand. Driscoll's diamonds. To hell with that. Let's be reasonable. There was Goodwin, alone right at the front door for six or seven minutes after he came downstairs with Mrs Miltan, before the radio men got there. Then they left him alone again until the precinct men arrived. He knew from the begi

"He had no daylights left in him."

"Shut up. Tells the porter to stay where he is, takes a ladder to the rear court and climbs the fence and talks about his wife's cat and pretends to fall off, beats it through a kitchen and a restaurant to 49th Street, and jumps a taxi and tells the driver he likes to go fast. And he tells me nothing happened between the time the precinct men came and the time he reached for his coat! I ask you, what does that sound like?"

"It sounds like a delayed cerebral process. I am accustomed to it-unfortunately."

"It sounds bughouse. And Goodwin's not bughouse."

"No, he isn't. Not quite. Will you have some beer?"

"No, thank you."

Wolfe pushed the button, leaned back and let the tips of his fingers meet at the apex of his middle mound. "Let's cut across, Mr Cramer," he suggested helpfully. "You're busy and you need sleep. Regarding the point you have broached, as to what happened up there between this time and that time, Archie says he didn't want to be detained until midnight by the prolonged routine of your staff. I say delayed cerebration. If something significant really did happen, it's obvious that we don't intend to tell you, at least not now, so let's pass that. Next, if you ask why we kept ourselves incomunicado until half past nine, my reply is that I wished to get his complete report without interruption and that I abhor any disturbance during the di