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There was no hint in this. He stared at the blank faces of the buildings and the hurried, swarming faces of the people around him. The only thing to do was to wait for her outside her apartment house and ask her, point-blank. At seven o'clock that night he took up his station behind a tree across the street from the entrance to her apartment house. It was a damp night, with a drizzle. In half an hour he was soaked, but he paid little attention to it. A policeman came by for the third time at ten-thirty and looked inquisitively at him.
"Waiting for a girl." Christian managed a sheepish grin.
"She's trying to shake a parachute Major."
The policeman gri
At two o'clock in the morning one of the familiar official cars drove up and Gretchen and an officer got out. They talked for a moment on the pavement. Then they went in together and the car drove away.
Christian looked up through the drizzle at the blackout-dark side of the building and tried to work out which window was the one that belonged to Gretchen's apartment, but it was impossible to tell in the blackness.
At eight o'clock in the morning the long car drove up again and the officer came out and got into it. Lieutenant-Colonel, Christian noted automatically. It was still raining.
He nearly crossed the street to the apartment house. No, he thought, that would ruin it. She'd be angry and throw me out and that would be the end of it.
He stayed behind the tree, his eyes clammy with sleep, his uniform soaked, staring up at the window which was revealed now in the grey light.
At eleven o'clock she came out. She had on short rubber boots and a belted light raincoat, with a cape attached, like a soldier's camouflage equipment. She looked fresh, as always in the morning, and young and schoolgirlish in her rain outfit. She started to walk briskly down the street.
He caught up with her after she turned the corner.
"Gretchen," he said, touching her elbow.
She wheeled nervously. "Get away from me!" she said. She looked apprehensively around her and spoke in a whisper.
"What's the matter?" he said, pleadingly. "What have I done?"
She began walking again, swiftly. He walked after her, keeping a little behind her.
"Gretchen, darling…"
"Listen," she said. "Get away. Keep away. Isn't that clear?"
"I've got to know," he said. "What is it?"
"I can't be seen talking to you." She stared straight ahead of her as she strode down the street. "That's all. Now get out. You've had a nice leave, and it'll be up in two days anyway; go back to France and forget this."
"I can't," he said. "I can't. I've got to talk to you. Any place you say. Any time."
Two men came out of a shop on the other side of the street and walked swiftly, parallel to them, in the same direction as they were going.
"All right," Gretchen said. "My place. Tonight at eleven. Don't use the front door. You can walk up the back stairs through the basement. The entrance is in the other street. The kitchen door will be unlocked. I'll be there."
"Yes," said Christian. "Thank you. That's wonderful."
"Now leave me alone," she said. He stopped and watched her walk away, without looking back, in her bright, nervous walk, accentuated by the boots and the belted rubber coat. He turned and went slowly back to his boarding-house. He lay down on the bed without taking off his clothes and tried to sleep.
At eleven o'clock that night he climbed the dark back stairs. Gretchen was sitting at a table writing something. Her back was very straight in a green wool dress, and she didn't even look round when Christian came into the room. Oh, God, he thought, it is the Lieutenant all over again. He walked lightly over behind her chair and kissed the top of her head, smelling the scented hair.
Gretchen stopped writing and turned round in the chair. Her face was cool and serious.
"You should have told me," she said.
"What?" he asked.
"You may have got me into a lot of trouble," she said. Christian sat down heavily. "What did I do?"
Gretchen stood up and began to walk up and down the room, the wool skirt swinging at her knees.
"It wasn't fair," she said, "letting me go through all that."
"Go through what?" Christian asked loudly. "What are you talking about?"
"Don't shout!" Gretchen snapped at him. "God knows who's listening."
"I wish," said Christian, keeping his voice low, "that you'd let me know what's happening."
"Yesterday afternoon," Gretchen said, standing in front of him, "the Gestapo sent a man to my office."
"Yes?"
"They had been to see General Ulrich first," Gretchen said significantly.
Christian shook his head wearily. "Who in God's name is General Ulrich?"
"My friend," said Gretchen, "my very good friend, who is probably in very hot water now because of you."
"I never saw General Ulrich in all my life," Christian said.
"Keep your voice low." Gretchen paced over to the sideboard and poured herself four fingers of brandy. She did not offer Christian a drink. "I'm a fool to have let you come here at all."
"What has General Ulrich got to do with me?" Christian demanded.
"General Ulrich," Gretchen said deliberately, after taking a large swallow of the brandy, "is the man who tried to put through your application for a direct commission and a transfer to the General Staff."
"Well?"
"The Gestapo told him yesterday that you were a suspected Communist," Gretchen said, "and they wanted to know what his co
"What do you want me to say?" Christian demanded. "I'm not a Communist. I was a member of the Nazi Party in Austria in 1937."
"They knew all that," said Gretchen. "They also knew that you had been a member of the Austrian Communist Party from 1932 to 1936. They also knew that you made trouble for a Regional Commissioner named Schwartz just after the Anschluss. They also knew that you had an affair with an American girl who had been living with a Jewish Socialist in Vie
Christian sank wearily back into the chair. The Gestapo, he thought; how meticulous and inaccurate they could be.
"You're under observation in your Company," Gretchen said.
"They get a report on you every month." She gri
"It may please you to know that my husband reports that you are a completely able and loyal soldier and strongly recommends you for officers' school."
"I must remember to thank him," Christian said flatly, "when I see him."
"Of course," said Gretchen, "you can never become an officer. They won't even send you to fight against the Russians. If your unit is shifted to that front, you will be transferred."
What a winding, hopeless trap, Christian thought, what an impossible, boring catastrophe.
"That's it," Gretchen said. "Naturally, when they found out that a woman who worked for the Propaganda Ministry, who was friendly, officially and otherwise, with many high-ranking military and official perso
"Oh, for God's sake," Christian said irritably, standing up, "stop sounding like a police magistrate!"
"You understand my position…" It was the first time Christian had heard a defensive tone in Gretchen's voice.
"People have been shipped off to concentration camps for less. You must understand my position, darling."
"I understand your position," Christian said loudly, "and I understand the Gestapo's position, and I understand General Ulrich's position, and they all bore me to death!" He strode over to her and towered over her, raging. "Do you think I'm a Communist?"
"That's beside the point, darling," Gretchen said carefully.