Master Of Space And Time

14. Wanted

I woke to the sound of Nancy's and Serena's voices. We were parked on a back road some fifteen miles south of Princeton. It was as far as we'd been able to come last night before falling asleep. Fortunately I'd remembered to throw some seeds out the window before dropping off, so there was a nice little stand of porkchop bushes and fritter trees right by the car. Nancy and Serena were having breakfast. I joined them.

"How much money did you bring?" Nancy asked.

"A few hundred thousand at least. Whatever's in that bag I put in the trunk. These fritters are really good."

"They sure are. If it wasn't for the Herberbrains everything would be perfect."

"Let's see how it's going." I turned on the radio.

"… invasion," intoned a drunk-sounding news-caster. "New Brunswick has been cordoned off, with reports of alien activity in some of the surrounding areas. An unconfirmed report states that the New York Port Authority Bus Terminal in central Manhattan has been taken over by the aliens. One of the most effective weapons against them seems to be good old-fashioned alcohol. These brainlike creatures are extremely susceptible to alcohol poisoning, and all soldiers in the cordon have been put on double-grog rations. Any listeners who are near the combat zone are advised to remain intoxicated for the duration. I certainly am. A

"Thank you, Greg. Bottoms up. First reports of the invasion began trickling in last night in the wee morning hours. A number of police officers have fallen under the control of the parasites who call themselves Herberites. Their objectives at this time remain unclear, although some of the individuals under alien control have spoken of converting people to God's Laws. There is no question that these organisms are extraterrestrial in origin, although …"

I turned the radio back down. "Sounds like things won't get out of control. I hadn't realized that Gary is that allergic to alcohol."

"Do you think that people are going to blame you and Harry?" asked Nancy.

"Well, the brains are all thinking about us. So anyone who recovers — like that cop last night — is going to know we did it. Yeah, we're going to get blamed." I turned the radio back up for a minute.

"… was caused by two eccentric scientists, Joseph Fletcher and Harry Gerber. Authorities continue to seek… "

"You see?" I turned the radio off entirely.

"They won't be mad at you once they find out about the porkchop bushes and the fritter trees," said Nancy soothingly.

"The government won't like free food. What about all the people who just work to get enough to eat? People with menial, subsistence-level jobs. Those people will drop out of the work force if they got some of our seeds."

"They deserve a break," said Nancy forcefully. "I think our mission is to drive all over the country giving out the seeds. And then let the seeds spread to other countries as well. We could drive to Mexico!"

"The police will be looking for this car," I observed. "And I can't just leave Harry."

"We can buy a new car. And Harry can take care of himself."

"Well, all right."

We stripped the fruit off the bushes and trees we'd planted, and got out the seeds. Each plant yielded some one hundred seeds. If we could get some helpers, it wouldn't be hard to turn one seed into one million seeds in the course of a day. A hundred times a hundred times a hundred. There was no limit to it.

We decided to leave the Buick with Alwin Bitter and get a new car. I headed back to Princeton.

Old Bitter was sitting on his porch, reading the morning paper.

"Hi," I called from the Buick. "Remember us? Joe and Nancy Fletcher?"

Bitter smiled and waved. We got out of the car and joined him on the porch.

"Have you heard all the news?" I asked him. "About the alien invasion? Didn't I tell you Harry was going to be master of space and time?"

"I don't really see the point," opined Bitter. "All for excitement, I suppose. Everyone is supposed to get drunk?"

"The brains don't like alcohol," I explained. "They have three teachings, just like you."

"I hadn't heard that."

"Yeah, they're called God's Laws. Follow Gary, Be Clean, Teach God's Laws."

"A thought virus." Bitter chuckled. "A parasitic system that propagates itself. And what else did you accomplish?"

"We have special seeds," said Nancy. "Two new kinds of plants. Look." She threw a fritter-tree seed and a porkchop-bush seed off the porch. As soon as they hit the ground you could see little shoots growing up. "They make food," explained Nancy. "Joe and I want to drive all over the country and give them to poor people."

"That sounds reasonable," said Bitter. "But where will all the extra people live?"

I glanced at Nancy. She shrugged. "There's room. It's a big world."

"And the extra pollution?" probed Bitter. "What about that?"

"Look," said Nancy, "we're going to help people get enough to eat. There's no way you can argue with that."

"Who's arguing?" Bitter smiled. "What do you want from me, my blessing?"

"I just wanted to leave my car in your garage," I explained. "I think the police might be looking for me. I want to drop out of sight for a week or two."

"Do you have any money?"

"Lots."

"Give me some."

"All right."

Bitter agreed to keep our car for a thousand dollars. He took the keys and promised to put it in the big garage under the church building.

We walked down to a GM dealer's lot and bought a Corvette right off the floor. We bought it under Nancy's maiden name: Nancy Lydon. The salesman was kind of surprised to see us pay cash out of a shopping bag. But not too surprised to take the money.

Nancy wanted to drive — she said if it was in her name, then it was her car. I didn't care; I tilted back my seat and went to sleep. There was a space behind the seats big enough for Serena to roll around in.

When I woke up, the car was stopped and Nancy was talking. "Just plant these," she was saying, "and you'll have plenty to eat."

"Thank you kindly," said the thin black woman Nancy was talking to. "What kind of seeds these be?"

I sat up and looked around. We were on some crummy back road, stopped in front of a brokendown farmhouse. It was too cloudy to tell exactly what time it was, but I figured it was about noon. Nancy was talking to a frail gray-ski

"Let's plant them here," proposed Nancy, scratching two holes in the clay soil. She put a seed in each, and called for water.

"Get the bucket, Cardo," said the old woman. One of her ski

"Hello," I said getting out of the car. Serena was already up, standing at Nancy's side. "We have a new kind of plant we're giving away," I explained. "They grow fritters and porkchops."

"Now that's a fib, I know," said the black woman. "Is you folks preachers?"

Cardo came back and poured water on our two seeds. The green shoots started up, and some of the children gathered around to watch. I went over and gave Serena a hug. This was more fun than working for Susan Lacey at Softech.

"It'll take about an hour, Mrs. Johnson," said Nancy. "Do you mind if we watch?"

"I don't mind. With Luther gone, I'm happy to have some grown-ups to chat with."

"Luther was your husband?"

"He say." No more information was forthcoming. Well, so what. The seeds were for everyone — nobody was going to need to fill out a form to get them. Free food. The more I thought about the idea, the more I liked it.

Mrs. Johnson's children took a liking to Serena. They showed her how to swing in their tire swing, and one of the little girls brought out a greasy rag doll for Serena to play with. The clouds broke up and let the warm autumn sun beat down. There was a horse chestnut nearby, and Serena set to work collecting shiny buckeyes.