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“Good morning, Miss Weatherwax,” said Letice Earwig loudly.
Gra
“It’s Mistress,” she said.
“Whatever,” said Letice brightly.”I trust you are keeping well?”
“Up till now,” said Gra
There was a thrumming silence, which appalled Na
They should have been invited in for a cup of something. That was how the ritual went. It was gross bad ma
“You’ve come about the Trials,” said Gra
“Er, how did—”
“Cos you look like a committee. It don’t take much reasoning,” said Gra
Na
Her dark little eyes noted that the kitchen table gleamed and was still damp from scrubbing.
After cups had been poured and pleasantries exchanged, or at least offered by Letice and received in silence by Gra
“There’s such a lot of interest in the Trials this year, Miss ... Mistress Weatherwax.”
“Good.”
“It does look as though witchcraft in the Ramtops is going through something of a renaissance, in fact.”
“A renaissance, eh? There’s a thing.”
“It’s such a good route to empowerment for young women, don’t you think?”
Many people could say things in a cutting way, Na
“That’s a good hat you’ve got there,” said Gra
Letice touched the brim and gave a little laugh.
“It’s from Boggi’s in Ankh-Morpork,” she said.
“Oh? Shop-bought?”
Na
“Tailor-made,” said Letice.
“And those hatpins you’ve got,” Gra
“You’ve got a brooch that’s crescent-shaped, too, ain’t that so, Esme?” said Na
“This is true, Gytha. I have a brooch what is shaped like a crescent. That’s just the truth of the shape it happens to be. Very practical shape for holding a cloak, is a crescent. But I don’t mean nothing by it. Anyway, you interrupted just as I was about to remark to Mrs Earwig how fetchin’ her hatpins are. Very witchy.”
Na
“On the subject of witchcraft,” said Letice, with the born chairwoman’s touch for the enforced segue, “I thought I might raise with you the question of your participation in the Trials.”
“Yes?”
“Do you ... ah ... don’t you think it is unfair to other people that you win every year?”
Gra
“No,” she said, eventually. “I’m better’n them.”
“You don’t think it is a little dispiriting for the other contestants?”
Once again, the floor to ceiling search.
“No,” said Gra
“But they start off knowing they’re not going to win.”
“So do I.”
“Oh, no, you surely —”
“I meant that I start off knowing they’re not goin’ to win, too,” said Gra
“It does rather dash their enthusiasm.”
Gra
Letice plunged on.
“What we were hoping to persuade you to do, Esme, is to accept an emeritus position. You would perhaps make a nice little speech of encouragement, present the award, and ... and possibly even be, er, one of the judges ...”
“There’s going to be judges?” said Gra
“That’s true,” said Na
“It would be a very nice gesture,” Letice went on.
“Who decided there would be judges?” said Gra
“Er ... the committee ... which is ... that is ... a few of us got together. Only to steer things ...”
“Oh. I see,” said Gra
“Pardon?”
“Are you going to have them lines of little flags? And maybe someone selling apples on a stick, that kind of thing?”
“Some bunting would certainly be —”
“Right. Don’t forget the bonfire.”
“So long as it’s nice and safe.”
“Oh. Right. Things should be nice. And safe,” said Gra
Mrs Earwig perceptibly sighed with relief. “Well, that’s sorted out nicely,” she said.
“Is it?” said Gra
“I thought we’d agreed that —”
“Had we? Really?” She picked up the poker from the hearth and prodded fiercely at the fire. “I’ll give matters my consideration.”
“I wonder if I may be frank for a moment, Mistress Weatherwax?” said Letice. The poker paused in mid-prod.
“Yes?”
“Times are changing, you know. Now, I think I know why you feel it necessary to be so overbearing and unpleasant to everyone, but believe me when I tell you, as a friend, that you’d find it so much easier if you just relaxed a little bit and tried being nicer, like our sister Gytha here.”
Na
“You seem to have all the witches in awe of you for fifty miles around,” she went on. “Now, I daresay you have some valuable skills, but witchcraft isn’t about being an old grump and frightening people any more. I’m telling you this as a friend —”
“Call again whenever you’re passing,” said Gra
This was a signal. Na
“I thought we could discuss —” Letice protested.
“I’ll walk with you all down to the main track,” said Na
“Gytha!” said Gra
“Yes, Esme?”
“You’ll come back here afterwards, I expect.”
“Yes, Esme.”
Na
“She is not a nice person,” Letice trilled. But it was the trill of some large hunting bird.
“You’re right there,” said Na
“It’s high time she was taken down a peg or two!”