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13. Meetings
Nothing in this world, not even the depths of the Pacific Trench, is as scary as Demetria Robinson on the warpath. Or at least that’s what I figured until Je
Salt, who until recently had been little more than a crotchety nuisance in the eyes of my fellow knights, suddenly became a hero. His precautions and policies weren’t old-fashioned, u
The males in the club did their best to calm down our half, cracking jokes about the perpetrator’s penmanship (or spray-canmanship), and, in George’s case, admiring his skilled application of that lowest form of humor, the dirty pun. When Je
Malcolm and Poe arrived, and the latter took one look around the room and marched back out. Fine. Who wanted him here? Who wanted him to even act like he cared what happened to her? Not me.
Malcolm stayed to help us with cleanup, and Salt departed to look for clues. Our activities were punctuated with the following exclamations (each on repeat):
1) “Who could have done this?”
2) “When did they get in here? We were here all afternoon!”
3) “Oh my God, my bag/dress/new Gucci!” (Clarissa.)
Eventually, everything got back in (spray-painted) order, and the boys left us alone after an offer to stick around, “just in case,” was roundly trounced by Demetria for being some patriarchal, women-are-weaklings, anti-feminist bullshit. She was in rare form.
“I can’t put up with this anymore,” she said, pacing across the painted floors. “I’ve had it up to here with Rose & Grave crap.”
“This isn’t Rose & Grave,” Je
“Oh, no?” Demetria said, swooping down and grabbing Je
“That’s not fair,” Je
“The Diggirls being targeted again?” Demetria went on. “Come on, people, open your eyes!”
“There’s an easier explanation,” Clarissa said.
“Lay it on me.”
“It’s the people from the other island.”
I ducked my head, but Demetria was on a roll. “Bullshit. It’s obviously little Mrs. Myers. It’s the same old bullshit it’s always been since we’ve been tapped. The patriarchs of this organization are a bunch of racist, misogynist, homophobic assholes.”
“But Kadie’s not a patriarch,” I said. “She’s not even a Digger.”
“That doesn’t mean she doesn’t know what’s going on around here. You should have heard her talking about Gehry on the boat this morning. Like he was some kind of maligned saint. I wouldn’t be surprised if he put her up to it.”
“Gehry?” I said. “I hate the guy as much as the next person, but this so isn’t his style.”
“Yes it is,” Je
“But he’s hiding out here,” Clarissa said. “Hiding out and praying that he and his wife aren’t brought up on charges and that their kids don’t find out that their darling na
“But he is here, and we’re here…” Demetria argued.
“The others are trespassing here…” Clarissa pointed out.
Demetria groaned. “What the hell, Clarissa? You’ve been watching too much Lost. ‘It’s the others, it’s the others.’ It’s not the others. Occam’s Razor.”
“Fine,” I said. “But Occam’s Razor does not explain why a bitch in a snit fit would be the accomplice of a patriarch who thinks as much of women as he does of barbarians. I think it’s Kadie, too—and her husband, if you want to go there. She was the one who called us dykes right before she ran off.” I pointed at the wall, where the word was still visible despite Kevin’s careful scrubbing. “And here it is again. Coincidence? I think not.”
“And you’re all just going to ignore the possibility that Gehry, who not once, but twice has tried to destroy us, who has been known to send his lackeys to break into our quarters and destroy our property, is involved in this little escapade?”
“I’m going to say it’s unlikely,” Clarissa said. “He’s pretty much been a shut-in, hasn’t he?”
“The perfect cover!” Demetria paused. “Or maybe he sent his son…”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, that guy would win Father of the Year. ‘Here, son, now I’m going to teach you the fine art of vandalism.’ Besides, I hung out with Darren this morning. He’s a nice guy.” He would not be wrecking my stuff after our dart game.
“You just want to see Gehry, Demetria!” Clarissa exclaimed. “It all makes sense now. You’ll blame him if it means you can drag him into the daylight and grill him about everything they haven’t covered on CNN.”
“What, are you sympathizing with that asshole now?” Demetria asked, turning on her.
“No, but I’m begi
Demetria gave her a look that said, Bitch, please. “And you don’t want to think that your future Junior League co-president is capable of destroying your stuff. Would blaming this on Kadie wreck your debutante sponsorship?”
Clarissa huffed. “That’s so unfair!”
“I’m with Amy,” Je
“Kadie wouldn’t have had time to pull this off,” Clarissa pointed out. “This kind of damage took more than a few minutes.” And more than a few paint cans.
“Well, if she didn’t act alone…” Demetria was persistent, but we all ignored her.
“And again,” Clarissa said happily, “we return to the others.”
“No,” Je
“You would,” Clarissa said. “You seem to have gotten over him just fine.”
“Yeah. He was a jerk. Your point?”
“Nothing,” Clarissa said, with an expression that indicated butter would have no business melting in her mouth, as she returned to scrubbing paint off her purse. It was very clearly not nothing. And Je
“If you have something to say, Angel, say it.”
“Two dollars,” said Demetria and I in unison.
Clarissa looked up from her work. “It’s nothing, really. I’m just wondering if it’s the best idea in the world to rebound with a fellow knight.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Sure you don’t,” Clarissa said. “But Amy’s got a broken heart, too. You don’t see her hooking up with another Digger.”
I blushed furiously at this, but no one guessed the true reason.
“Amy’s already had her taste of society incest!” Je
“What, so we each get one? Is that how it works?” Clarissa said. “By my count, I’m the only person here who hasn’t tried out the merchandise. Maybe my dad and Kurt Gehry were right. Rose & Grave is turning into a dating club!”