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9. Expectations

My mind was still buzzing when the other girls arrived at the cabin.

“I owe you an apology,” Clarissa said, struggling to heave her Louis Vuitton over the threshold. “You were right. This place is a dump.”

I didn’t even have the presence of mind to look smug. “How was the tour?” I managed.

“Snoozeville,” Je

“On the upside,” Demetria said, “I now know more about Caribbean air currents than I ever thought possible.”

“No Internet access?” I said. “But haven’t Mrs. Gehry and the kids been here for a while? That must suck for Darren.”

“Yeah, he must be so behind on his MySpace updates.” Clarissa rolled her eyes. “Perhaps he can entertain himself figuring out a way to get his spew off my shirt.”

“How are you?” Je

I shrugged, mind still whirring. Pour some rum into my skull and we could all have daiquiris at this rate. Poe liked me?

Clarissa was unpacking her second suitcase. “Don’t worry about Amy. She’s actually been known to seek out James’s company from time to time, isn’t that right?”

“I remember,” Je

“It’s Jamie.” I clamped my mouth shut. Where did that come from?

“What?”

“His name. It’s, um, Jamie.” And how long had he had a crush on me?

“Oh.” Clarissa turned back to brushing the wrinkles out of a silk sundress. “Whatever.”

And how come I’d never noticed it before?

“Tell me how it happened,” Je

I was curious about that myself. Poe hated me. He thought I was everything wrong with Rose & Grave. At least, that’s what he’d said back in November. But, since then, well, I thought we’d graduated to mutual…respect and neutrality?

“Yo, earth to Amy.” Je

Oh.

“I wasn’t standing by the deck,” Je

“It ripped right off,” Clarissa said. “It’s my fault. Amy, I’m so sorry.” She looked at Je

Je

Demetria cut in. “Well, Jamie brought the straps on deck with him. They were completely frayed through. I’m surprised they didn’t fall off when you tried to buckle them. If you wanted to sue, you’d have a pretty good case on your hands. Talk about safety violations—life jackets that fall apart as soon as you hit the water?”

“Who would she sue?” Clarissa asked. “The Diggers? She is a Digger.”

“And if she had died?” Je

I shivered. I didn’t want to talk about dying anymore. “No one is suing. I just don’t want to get on a boat again unless it’s the one leaving this island.”

“But what are you going to do?” Clarissa asked as Je

“Blondie,” Demetria cut in as Je

I chose not to contribute to this conversation and watched as Je

“What the hell are you doing?” Demetria asked. Her luggage, like Poe’s, consisted of a battered rucksack. Of course, Je

“I’m getting us Internet access,” Je

“Well, while you pirate wireless, I’m going to take a shower.” Clarissa turned to me. “Amy? Any plans to wash your hair before the introductory di

I touched my salt-encrusted tresses. Okay, good point. I hadn’t realized how gross seawater made your hair. But I wasn’t sure I wanted to go to di

“Go take a shower, Amy,” Demetria said, waving me off. “I don’t necessarily think you need to get back on a boat, but you can’t spend your Spring Break hiding in this dump, either. There’s no water at di

Yes, but thanks to Dragon’s Head, I knew exactly how unpleasant those glasses could get.

“Besides,” Clarissa added, “you can’t miss seeing how far the mighty Kurt Gehry has fallen. Aren’t you looking forward to getting all smug in the buffet line?”

Would it be mean to admit I was?

“Here we go,” Je

Eventually the other girls impressed upon me the need to shower and make myself presentable for di

“And the rules,” Je

“Right.” Demetria rolled her eyes. “Comandante Saltzman runs a pretty tight ship on Cavador.”

“What a sweet job, though,” Clarissa said. “I want to be an island caretaker when I grow up.” We lapsed into silence as we tried to imagine Clarissa playing servant to anyone.

RULES OF CAVADOR KEY

1) Barbarian names ONLY outside of the tomb or other official ceremonies. Remember, we’re not all Diggers here.

2) Though most of the visiting barbarian family members are aware of this island’s true purpose, there’s no reason to go blabbing about it at random. Your oaths still hold.

3) Try to limit showers to ten minutes or less, no more than once a day. We are dealing with severe water shortages.

4) The generators will be shut off every night at precisely 10 P.M. Each room is equipped with candles and flashlights if you wish to stay up later than that. (Tomb excepted.)

5) Special dietary requests will be submitted, in writing, at least three days prior to your visit.

6) The only barbarians allowed on this island are the wives and biological children of active knights and/or patriarchs.

7) No, there is no pool. The ocean is a few feet away. Deal with it.

This went on in the same vein for several pages. At the bottom of the last sheet, there was a handwritten addition:

*No co-educational sleeping arrangements will be provided without proof of matrimony.

“I think we’ve found our new slogan,” Demetria said.

The main compound of Cavador Key was composed of four buildings. One was the cabin the other knights were using, near the shower house. Then there was a larger building in a Key West style, with big windows, a sloping roof, and a wraparound porch. This, Demetria informed me, housed the kitchens, dining room, billiard and rec room, and “library.” Upstairs, the main hall had a few small apartments for married Diggers and families, though Clarissa explained that they were all currently occupied, which was why we girls had been relegated to the distant cabin. There was also a small, windowless, stucco structure that served as the island’s “tomb,” and looked too hot to even think of entering (“Looks like a strip club,” Je