Under the Rose

“Who’s your friend?” I asked, straightening and looking him right in the eye. Have you told him what sluts you think we all are?

“This is Micah Price,” she said. “Micah runs the prayer group I’m in. Micah, this is Amy Haskel. I tutor her in fractals.”

I don’t know a fractal from a fraction, but sure. “Nice to meet you,” I said, and held out my hand.

He didn’t take it. Of course, last time I ran into Micah Price, he’d practically pummeled Josh into the pavement. Thinking back on it, perhaps I should have let him. Would have saved me from all that through-the-wall giggling.

Brandon stepped forward. “Hi, I’m Brandon.” He pumped Je

“Well, we should go,” Je

“You bet,” I replied, my voice like ice.

I leaned against the counter and watched them leave. Brandon stood beside me. “You know that guy?” When I shrugged, he went on. “He’s bad news.”

“How bad can he be? Super-Christian, runs a campus prayer group?”

Brandon shook his head. “It’s not a prayer group so much as a cult. He lived across the entryway from me freshman year. Sometimes I would hear him talking in there. Nothing he was saying sounded very Christian to me.”

“So, like what? Intolerance and stuff?”

Our coffee order came up and Brandon began fitting the cups into the cardboard carrier. “Yes, that, and…other stuff. Don’t get me wrong; I love a good prayer group.” Who doesn’t? “But he didn’t seem to be so much about God or the Bible as he was about himself. About following him on his…crusade. I don’t know. Tell your tutor to be careful around him.”

“She’s not my tutor.”

He handed me a coffee cup. “Amy, don’t you think I know you’ve never taken fractals in your life? I’m a math major. If you needed help, you’d ask me.” He stopped. “Wouldn’t you?”

“Not this semester.”

We headed toward the entrance, and though Brandon was balancing way more coffee than me, he held the door open as I stepped through. “I’d like to change that, if I can.”

I swallowed, trying to clear my throat of all the sentences threatening to rush out at once. I don’t think that’s a good idea, and Why are you doing this to me now? and Where the hell can all this lead except to make me feel miserable that I gave you up and Aren’t you smug that finally you’ve gotten me pining for you?

I was still trying to formulate an appropriate response when Brandon grabbed my elbow and pulled me back under the awning. “Wait,” he whispered.

Oh, God. No. I may not be the best person in this relationship, but I could take the high road when the situation demanded. Brandon was happy with Felicity, and I would not be the one to let him jeopardize that in some moment of weakness brought on by tight jeans and a tighter sweater. “Brandon, I don’t think—”

“Shh.” He peeked around the entrance. “They’re still out there. Can you hear?”

Oh. As soon as I paid attention to something other than my heartbeat and my ex’s proximity, I could.

“Micah, no! It’s not like that,” Je

“This is what we agreed on, Jen.” His voice was perfectly even, as if he were discussing the weather. “I fail to see how anything has changed. You were the one that told me—”

“Not here, please. And not now. Seriously, it’s not right.”

“You promised me you would. You swore it. Were you lying? Were you lying to me?” And there was a hint of emotion in his voice, a carefully reined anger that slipped a bit on the “me.”

“No, of course not. It’s just so hard. So much harder than I thought it would be. I’m not sure I want to do it anymore.”

“I don’t understand. I love you, Jen. Don’t you know that? I trust you.”

“I know. I know you do.” Her voice broke on her words.

“And you love me…don’t you? Don’t you love me? If you love me, then why is it so hard to do what I want?”

Enough! “That bastard,” I hissed and would have stormed out of the foyer, but Brandon put his hand in front of me.

“You’ll humiliate her.”

“I plan to eviscerate him.” Betrayal or not, she was my Diggirl, and I was going to show my support. I’d teach this budding sexual predator that “no” meant no. I’d sic the full force of the Eli Women’s Center on his ass. But Brandon held me firm, and I didn’t move.

Je

“When, then?” Micah said. “No more waiting. You’ve been putting this off forever.”

“It’s not forever. I’m just not ready.”

There was a long pause, and then he said, “Well, I’m ready, so I don’t care if you are or not.”

“I’ve changed my mind,” said Brandon, and his hand formed a fist. “Get him.”

We spilled out of the entrance and Je

Micah smirked at Brandon, and also departed posthaste. The jerk was probably well aware Brandon Weare would not fight him on a crowded city street.

“Should I go after her?” I asked him.

Brandon’s jaw was clenched tight. “If you think she’ll talk to you. I don’t think she will.” He watched Micah walk away. “But I’ll tell you what I do suggest. Get your people—and I know you have them—get your people to do that guy some damage. Soon.” He took the coffee from my hand. “I’m going to go deliver this to the Lit office. Chase down that girl, or find your friends, or something. I’ll see you later.”

No! That’s what he’d said to me last time, and it had been a month and a half before I saw him again. “When?” I couldn’t help but blurt out.

He looked down at the coffees. “I don’t know, Amy. Maybe when you call me?”

I power-walked back to Prescott College, cell phone in full gear. Je

Okay, no problem. I’d wait until Je

“Where’s Josh?” I asked.

“Eleven-thirty lecture,” she murmured, and proceeded to highlight a line I’m sure she’d had memorized since freshman year. She glanced up at me. “Anything wrong?”

Nothing that couldn’t wait until the next time I saw Je

“I thought Brandon was here.”

“Oh, that. He was. It was fine.”

Lydia nodded. “I’m glad to hear it. I hope you guys can move on and be friends.”

“Sadly, I think that’s up to him. I’m the one who hurt him, so I’m pretty much consigned to taking whatever friendship he’s willing to let me have.”