Vurt

"I guess not." The virus was getting to his mind now, making him feel like a super hero. "It's for your own good, Bee. Don't want you jumping off tall buildings."

"Yeah! That's me. The Shining Man. That Barnie did a real good job. Hey, maybe he's a bondage freak! You seen his wife, Scribb?"

"I saw her."

"That is one sexy player! Remember that one?"

"Remember what?"

"Shit, babe, you don't recall that one? How could you forget that dream? Maybe you're all shrivelled up. I read that happened, sometimes, you didn't use it enough."

"Do you know what's happening, Beetle?" I asked.

"Happening? The world's happening. And I am a major player. And if you don't undo these ropes, Scribble... I'm just going to flow right under them anyway. I'm floating, babe! You cotton me?"

Yeah. I got it.

"I know the final score, kid," he continued, his voice changing, becoming quiet, serious. "That shecop bitch really laid one on me. I guess this is cheerio time. Shit, babe, but I feel good! That's the twister."

"It does that to you," I said, just as quiet. And his colours were burning on my face. My tears were warm as they trickled down my skin, evaporating in the glare.

"I know it, Scribb. But you know what else? I feel like going out and stealing back shadowgirl and the alien. I feel like going out strong. In a blaze. You got that?"

"Coming soon, the Beetle," I whispered. "Coming real soon."

He kind of nodded then, like he wasn't really there. "Don't lose Mandy," he said, at last.

"I won't." His fingers were hot as I clenched my hand around them, feeling the colours shifting freely, back and forth between us.

But I kept my hand there anyway, taking the heat.

Which was like taking hold of spectrums.

I wash away the dirt of days, dry my skin, and take a long stare at what I look like these days. My face coming back at me, reflected in a bathroom mirror.

I peel back the lids and skin of my left eye. I move closer to the mirror, directly under the sink light. I stare into my own eyes, looking for clues.

"Found anything?" The soft honey voice from behind my shoulder. I spin around, almost banging into her. Her body was close to mine, and again I felt that memory co

"I like you," I replied, chancing a look into her eyes, expecting a steely metal glint. Instead an intense human gaze met mine.

"I'm not robo, you know?" she said. "Did you get that?"

"I can see that."

"That Twinkle's a nice kid. Maybe you should find a good women, and settle down some. With the kid in tow. That wouldn't be a bad life."

"What's the story with Barnie?" I asked.

"He's a good man."

"I know that."

"He cut one finger off when he was young, just peeling the veg. The cafe paid for a replacement, put some nano-plastic in there. The kid got hooked. It happens. You get some plastic in you, you just want some more. This is what Barnie tells me. Some more of that strength. Because that's what it is. Strength. The strength to persist. Don't you ever feel like giving up, Scribble?"

"I feel it. Sometimes."

"Get some robo in you. All that drops away then. So they say."

"I'm in a Vurt now? Is that right?" I asked.

"No. This is real."

"How can I trust you? It feels like a Vurt."

"That's because of what I've got inside."

"Which is?"

"Can't you feel anything?"

"I feel..."

"Yes?"

"I feel like I've known you already."

"In what way?"

"It's... it's embarrassing."

"You know Barnie sleeps around?"

"Does he?"

"That's okay. So do I."

"Do you?"

I was holding myself back from her.

"He has this thing about shadowgirls. Maybe it's because he's a robo. He likes that softness against his hardness. Soft smoke, hard plastic. It works well. And of course the shadowgirls love him back. It's got to be robo or dog, to keep a shadowgirl happy."

I thought about Bridget and Beetle. And then seeing Bridget dancing with that new man at the Slithy Tove. What was he?

"Did you find anything?" she asked.

"What?"

"In your eyes."

"No. Nothing."

"Let me look," she said, and stepping close, too close, she reached up to stroke my face. Lucinda looked into my eyes. Which meant I had to look into hers. They were green like apples from a sun-drenched orchard, somewhere far off. It was too much for me. "Stop shaking. Let me see," she insisted.

Lucinda gazing into me. I was hard already, and what I saw in her eyes, up close, just made it ten times worse.

"No. Nothing," she said. "Your eyes are blue, perfect blue. Like a summer's day, but without a hint of sun. That's strange. I could have sworn..."

"That I was Vurt?"

"Yes. It feels right, but not a trace of yellow."

"There's yellow in your eyes." I had seen the tiny flecks there, as she gazed deep into me. They had sparkled like fragments of gold.

"You've been here before, haven't you?" she said.

"I can't explain it."

"Let me show you something."

"Lucinda..."

"What's wrong, baby?"

"I..."

"What is it?"

"I shouldn't be doing this."

I should be seeking out Bridget and the Thing. And Desdemona...

Lucinda took a hold of my hands, gently leading.

The back bedroom was draped in purple, with a stone slab bed and a statue of the Virgin Mary. Her white alabaster body was dripping blood from the eyes.

I felt myself reeling, and then getting hard at the sights.

"I'm in the Vurt!" I mumbled. "I know I am!"

"No," Lucinda replied. "You just think you are."

"But this is Catholic Fuck, isn't it? An Interactive Mado

"That's right. Don't you get it yet? The living room?"

"That was the early nineties, wasn't it?"

"Correct."

"We're talking Nostalgia Trap?"

"You got it. And the room where Beetle sleeps? With the straps and the whips?"

"That's got to be Mistress Pervurt. I've done all of these!"

"Look closely."

And then I started to get it, the feeling of being cheated. I looked closely at the Catholic Fuck room. The blood didn't look that real any more. I smeared some on to my fingers, sniffed at it, "This is paint?"

Lucinda laughed. "Barnie had these rooms designed for me. They're copies of best-selling feathers. It's fun, isn't it? And Barnie gets off on it, I think"

"He can't do Vurt?"

"You got it. Barnie is flightless."

"I knew it. That look..."

"It's not so bad, you know? It makes him very real. Very powerful. In that old-fashioned kind of way. No wonder the shadow-girls love him in bed. I know I do. And these rooms... well they certainly make him come good."

But all I was seeing was the sadness in Barnie's eyes, that sense of missing out on the dream. But not in the sense that I knew. He liked missing out on the dream. The dream was weak and the chef was solid. Now it all came together; Barnie was featherless. I had to pull myself back from the feelings. "You've got the Vurt in your eyes, Lucinda. What are you?"

"I'm the star. I've got just enough Vurt inside me. I can co

Cinders O'Juniper.

And I saw myself in her arms, making love to her in feathers, countless soft and pink Pornovurts.

"I'm a Vurt actress," she said. That's my job."

Having her there in front of me, for real, it was making me ache.

"I know you've got some Vurt inside you," she said. "Despite the blue eyes. Maybe you're not ready for it yet. I felt it though, from the first glimpse. I'm feeling it now."

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm tingling all over."