The Gripping Hand

"No, I'm not sure I want to do that."

"Want to tell me about it?"

"Not really. Yes. What Freddy is too polite to say is, ‘You went to bed with me when we took the trip after graduation, so why won't you sleep with me now?'"

"Oh. I didn't know. I mean, I know what's happened since we left Sparta. Or what hasn't happened. Glenda Ruth, no wonder he's going nuts! I mean-" Je

"I know what he had every right to expect."

"All right, so why? Bad experience the first time?"

"No." Glenda Ruth's voice was very low and small. "Not a bad experience." Silence; then, "You've studied Moties."

Je

"Right. I picked up attitudes from the Moties. Consider that I can refuse to mate. From twelve to seventeen years of age I just plain enjoyed that. Then, consider that I can refuse to get pregnant."

"Freddy?"

"Yes. Sure. I've known him since we shared a crib. And we had just under a month... which was just about right for both of us to get to know our bodies. Something I wasn't likely to learn from Moties. Je

Je

"Sometimes it takes a while before I feel the vibes. Particularly with vague, murky attitudes. You know?" Glenda Ruth was turned away, looking at the universe in a picture-window display. "My parents don't think it's right to take a bed partner before I'm married, or at least engaged, but they're not sure, so I can live with that. Freddy's parents are sure, but I can live with that, too."

Glenda Ruth turned around. "But Freddy's maybe half sure his parents are right, and it was two months after the trip before I realized it, while I was dancing with him, and what it amounts to is this. By the way, I really appreciate you listening."

"Okay."

"And understanding. Only a damn Motie expert could listen to this and not try to send me to a confessor. Okay. If I sleep with Freddy, it's because we're going to get married or it's because I'm a slut. I'm not sure I want to marry him, and I'm not sure I don't. Either way would be okay, but I'm hung up, so..."

"No man would understand that line of argument, counselor."

"Freddy's not stupid. He'd know, he'd understand, if I could say it right. So I'm still thinking. Damn."

"He'd marry you-"

Glenda Ruth gri

"All eighteen years."

"Well, it's a lifetime to me." Poor Charlie didn't last much longer, Glenda Ruth thought. "All my life I've had someone who could tell me what to do. Had the right to tell me. Now I don't. Now I've got my own money, and I'm legally an adult. Freedom! It's wonderful. The last thing I need is a husband."

"Maybe it's better this way. You sure keep the Honorable Freddy attentive!"

"Oh, damn, it does look that way, doesn't it? He hasn't seen it, but-"

"It'll be all right. Last jump tonight. We'll be on New Scotland in three weeks. Freddy can find another girl." Je

Her cabin was small, like all the cabins on Hecate. The only spacious cabin belonged to Freddy. Of course he'd expected her to share it.

Why don't I? she wondered. I lie awake thinking about it. It's not like I don't have my pills, or Freddy has some kind of disease. It's not like I didn't-all I'd have to do is go tap on his door.

Maybe I'd lose him. Can't he be replaced? I can pick any stranger out of a crowd and know if he's sane, trustworthy, intelligent, horny, crosswired, docile. I hear women say they don't understand men, and I want to snicker- There was a sharp wrenching sensation, and she felt sick and confused. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew the ship had made an Alderson Jump, and she was in the grip of the disorientation that always followed. Her father had told her there were a dozen explanations of Jump shock, all inconsistent with each other, but no one had ever been able to disprove any of them.

Gradually control returned. She moved her fingers, then her hands and arms, until they did what she wanted them to. Freddy always recovered faster than she did. She resented that. Not fair.

And now they were in New Caledonia system. Maybe Freddy would drop her off and go on to New Ireland... . She had just settled in to try to sleep when her intercom chirped

"Glenda Ruth."

It was Freddy, of course. What in the world did he want? Hah. Well, why not? If he could stand her in this condition. It wouldn't take long to get cleaned up. She tapped the intercom button.

"Hi. Look, I hate to disturb you, but we've got a message for you."

"What?"

"There's a trader ship here, the New Baghdad Lion."

"Here?"

"Here. Waiting at the Jump point. They say they have a message for the Honorable Glenda Ruth Fowler Blaine. They need your identification code."

"Oh. All right, I'll be right there. You're on the bridge?"

"Yep."

"Be right up. And-Freddy, thanks."

"No problem. Bring your computer."

This sounded urgent, but she took the time to get dressed, the baggy trousers gathered at the ankles that were standard for low gravity. She also took time to put on an Angora sweater, comb her hair, and dab on lipstick. The ship was under slight acceleration, just enough to bold her slippers to the carpet. She made her way forward. Freddy was alone on the bridge.

He indicated the copilot chair. "They're standing by for your code."

She plugged her personal computer into the ship's system.

"Clementine."

Yes, dear. The words scrawled across her computer screen.

"We're supposed to identify ourselves," Glenda Ruth said. "This is me. Now prove it to them."

Password.

"Damn it all, you know it's me. All right." She sketched rapidly with the stylus; not words, but a cartoon.

Right you are. There was no sound, but she knew the computer was sending an encrypted message that could be decoded using her public key. It hardly mattered what the message was, since only messages encrypted with her secret key could be decoded with her public key. The public/secret key system made for positive identifications as well as secure communication.

"Acknowledged," a voice said on the ship's speakers. It was a voice thick with Levantine accent. "Greetings to Miss Glenda Ruth Fowler Blaine. Please prepare to record an encoded message from Lieutenant Kevin Christian Blaine."

Ah," Freddy said. "Standing by. Ready. Got it. Thank you, New Baghdad Lion."

"You are welcome. We have been instructed to offer you fuel."

"Fuel. Why would we want more fuel?" Freddy asked.

The Levantine voice was unperturbed. "Effendi, His Excellency told us to offer you fuel. We offer it. It will not take long to transfer. Shall we do so?"

Freddy looked to Glenda Ruth. "Now what?"

She shrugged. "They're bigger than we are, and if they wanted to do us any harm they'd have done it. Why not let them top off your tanks?"

"Lot more than topping off," Freddy said. "All right. New Baghdad Lion, we accept your offer with gratitude." He punched an intercom button. "Terry, that merchantman's going to pump us some hydrogen. Give them a hand, will you? You have the con."

"Aye, aye. I relieve you," the engineer said.

Freddy shook his head. "But just what is all this in aid of?"

"Maybe this will tell us," Glenda Ruth said.

The message had been encrypted using her public key. She set Clementine to decoding it.

Kevin Christian Blaine to Glenda Ruth Fowler Blaine. The rest does not break in clear, the computer informed her.

"Hah. Use Kevin's special code."

Willco. She adjusted her earphones and waited. Everyone was assured that the public-key/private-key system was secure against everything. Maybe we're just paranoid.