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"Well, I suppose it is an experience," said Lord Jagged. "Though I'm not sure that it was entirely tactful of the Duke of Queens to make it impossible for us to leave should we so desire. After all, not everyone enjoys being bored."
"Oh, you are not kind, Lord Jagged," said the equally invisible Mistress Christia. "I feel a certain sympathy for the little creature."
"Dry sgog," said the alien. "I am sorry. Dry sgog." He cleared his throat again. "I had best be as brief as possible."
The guests were begi
"In short," said the alien, trying to make himself heard above a rising babble, "my people have reached the inescapable conclusion that we are living at what you might call the End of Time. The universe is about to undergo a reformation of such massive proportions that not an atom of it will remain the same. All life will, effectively, die. All suns and planets will be destroyed as the universe ends one cycle and begins another. We are doomed, fellow intelligences. We are doomed."
Jherek yawned. He wished the alien would get to the point. He began to stroke Mistress Christia's breasts.
The babble died. It was obvious that everyone was now waiting for the alien to finish.
"I see you are shocked, skree, skree, skree," said the alien. "Perhaps I could have (roar) put the news more tactfully, but I, skree, skree, have so little time. There is nothing we can do, of course, to avert our fate. We can only prepare ourselves, philosophically, skree, skree, for (roar) death."
Mistress Christia giggled. She and Jherek sank to the ground and Jherek tried to remember how the lower garment of his set was removed. Mistress Christia's had already drifted open to receive him.
"Buttons," said Jherek, who had not forgotten even this small detail.
"Isn't that amazing!" said the voice of the Duke of Queens. The voice was strained; it was disappointed; it was eager to infect them with the interest which he himself felt but which, it appeared, had failed to communicate itself to his guests. "The end of the universe! Delightful!"
"I suppose so," said Lord Jagged, feeling for Jherek's heaving back and patting it good-bye. "But it is not a very new idea, is it?"
"We are all going to die! " The Duke of Queens laughed rather mechanically. "Oh, it's delicious!"
"Good-bye, Jherek. Farewell, beautiful Mistress Christia." Lord Jagged went away. It was plain that he was disappointed in the Duke of Queens; offended, even.
"Good-bye, Lord Jagged," said Mistress Christia and Jherek together. Really, there hadn't been such a dull party in a thousand years. They separated and sat side by side on the lawn. By the sound of it, many others were drifting away, stumbling against people in the dark and apologising. It was, indeed, a disaster.
Jherek, now trying to be generous to the Duke of Queens, wondered if the thing had been deliberately engineered. Well, it was a relatively fresh experience — a party which failed.
The cities of Africa burst into flame once again and Jherek could see the dais and the Duke of Queens standing talking to the alien on the dais.
Lady Charlotina went past, not noticing Jherek and Mistress Christia, who were still sitting on the ground.
"Duke," called Lady Charlotina, "is your friend part of your menagerie?"
The Duke of Queens turned, his fine, bearded face full of dejection. It was obvious that he had not pla
"He must be tired, poor thing," said Mistress Christia.
"It was almost bound to happen. Sensation piled on sensation but rooted in nothing, no proper artistic conception," said Jherek maliciously. "It is what I've always said."
"Oh, Jherek. Don't be unkind."
"Well…" Jherek did feel ashamed of himself. He had been on the point of revelling in the Duke's appalling mistake. "Very well, Mistress Christia. You and I shall go and comfort him. Congratulate him, if you like, though I fear he won't believe in my sincerity." They got up.
The Duke of Queens was taken aback by Lady Charlotina's question. He said vaguely: "Menagerie? Why, no…"
"Then might I have him?"
"Yes, yes, of course."
"Thank you." Lady Charlotina gestured to the alien. "Will you come with me, please."
The alien turned several of his eyes upon her. "But I must leave. My message. You are kind to, skree, skree, invite, skree, me. Howev (roar) er, I shall have to, skree, decline." He began to move towards his ship.
Regretfully Lady Charlotina gestured with one hand and froze the alien while with the other hand she disseminated his spaceship.
" Disgusting! "
Jherek heard the voice behind him and turned, delightedly, to identify it. The person had spoken in the language of the 19th century. A woman stood there. She wore a tight-fitting grey jacket and a voluminous grey skirt which covered all but the toes of her black boots. Beneath the jacket could just be seen a white blouse with a small amount of lacework on the bodice. She had a straw, wide-brimmed hat upon her heavily coiled chestnut hair and an expression of outrage on her pretty, heart-shaped face. A time-traveller, without doubt. Jherek gri
"Oh!" he exclaimed. "An ancient!"
She ignored him, calling out to Lady Charlotina (who, of course, did not understand 19th century speech at all): " Let the poor creature go! Though he is neither human nor Christian, he is still one of God's creatures and has a right to his liberty! "
Jherek was speechless with delight as he watched the time-traveller stride forward, the heavy skirts swinging. Mistress Christia raised her eyebrows. "What is she saying, Jherek?"
"She must be new," he said. "She has yet to take a translation pill. She seems to want the little alien for herself. I don't understand every word, of course." He shook his head in admiration as the time-traveller laid a small hand upon Lady Charlotina's shoulder. Lady Charlotina turned in surprise.
Jherek and Mistress Christia approached the pair. The Duke of Queens peered down from the dais looking first at them and then at the frozen space creature without any understanding at all.
" What you have done you can undo, degenerate soul ," said the time-traveller to the bewildered Lady Charlotina.
"She's speaking 19th century — one of many dialects," explained Jherek, proud of his knowledge.
Lady Charlotina inspected the grey-clad woman. "Does she want to make love to me? I suppose I will, if…"
Jherek shook his head. "No. I think she wants your alien. Or, perhaps, she doesn't want you to have it. I'll speak to her. Just a moment." He turned and smiled at the ancient.
" Good evening, Fraulein. I parle the yazhak. Nay m-sdi pa ," said Jherek.
She did not appear to be reassured. But now she stared at him in equal astonishment.
" The Fraulein this ," said Jherek indicating Lady Charlotina, who listened with mild interest, " is pense que t'a make love to elle ." He was about to continue and point out that he knew that this was not the case when the time-traveller transferred her attention to him altogether and delivered a heavy smack on his cheek. This baffled him. He had no knowledge of the custom or, indeed, how to respond to it.
"I think," he said to Lady Charlotina regretfully, "that we ought to give her a pill before we go any further."
" Disgusting! " said the time-traveller again. " I shall seek someone in authority. This must be stopped. I'm begi
They all watched her stalk away.
"Isn't she fine," said Jherek. "I wonder if anyone's claimed her. It almost makes me want to start my own menagerie."
The Duke of Queens lowered himself from the dais and settled beside them. He was dressed in a force-form chastity belt, feather cloak and had a conical hat of shrunken human heads. "I must apologise," he began.