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Cracks formed in the pavement with Syph’s every step.
Janet, oblivious to the approaching wrath, fumbled with her car keys. Bo
Syph bellowed, shaking the earth. “Mortal, prepare yourself to face the vengeance of a goddess spurned!”
Bo
“For your arrogance, I shall see you thrown into the depths of agony and despair, the endless pits of suffering, the realm of waking nightmares and dreams of pain where only the most presumptuous of mortal transgressors shall shriek and thrash for eternity! There you shall suffer until the end of time, until only the sanctuary of madness shall-”
Janet held up her hands.
“I don’t mean to interrupt, but is this about Lucky? Because if you want him, you can have him.”
Syph hesitated. She’d rehearsed the speech and hadn’t pla
Syph kept on.
“It’s too late for repentance, mortal! You have earned the ire of the heavens! The only mercy you shall be given is the sanctuary of madness-”
“You already said that,” said Bo
Syph glared. “You can wait in the car. I don’t mind.”
Bo
Syph cleared her throat and threw her hands in the air. A gale-force wind whipped across the lot as she roared, “The ire of the heavens shall rain upon you until the end of time! Your suffering shall be legendary! Your agony, a cautionary tale told to children who dare trifle in godly affairs!”
She paused. She’d had it all worked out, but now it was all jumbled. She knew she should’ve written notes.
“Madness shall be your… uhm… your… oh, damn.” She lowered her arms and the winds died down. “See what you made me do? You’ve completely thrown off my timing.”
“Sorry,” said Bo
Janet, meanwhile, had found her keys, gotten into her car, and started it. She stuck her head out the window and asked Syph and Bo
Syph scowled. The engine died. Janet tried to start it again, but there was no response. Not so much as a sputter.
Janet got out and walked up to Syph. “Why the hell did you do that?”
“There is no escape from the righteous fury of divine…” Syph took another awkward pause.
“Furiousness,” suggested Bo
“Oh, yes. That’s terrifically poetic,” replied Syph.
“I already told you. He’s all yours,” said Janet. “You two deserve each other.” She wiped a tear from her eye.
“Well, this is no good,” said Syph in a huff. “This is just no good at all.”
“Why not? You want him. Now you can have him.”
“You don’t understand. I’m here for revenge, the smiting and the terror and the righteous furiousness. Not this. This is just sad.”
“Sorry to disappoint you,” said Janet.
“He dumped you then, I take it,” said Syph.
“No, I dumped him.”
“You dumped him?”
“Yes.”
“You.” Syph pointed very deliberately at Janet. “Dumped him.”
“Yes. Still hurts like hell though.”
“But why?” asked Syph. “You dumped him! You win!”
Janet and Bo
“If he dumps you, then you lose,” explained Syph, “but if you dump him, then you win.”
Janet laughed bitterly. “Yeah, I win.”
“Clearly, if you dumped him then you must have been unhappy in the relationship, right?” asked Syph.
“Wrong. I was having a great time.”
“Oh.” Syph mulled this over. “I get it. You knew he was just about to dump you, and you beat him to the punch.”
Bo
Though Syph kept it to herself, she had to admit she didn’t.
Janet leaned against her car and held back tears. Not a great flood, but a few embarrassing drops. As goddess of heartbreak, Syph could sense Janet’s pain. It irked Syph to see the object of her vengeance like this. It was hard to enjoy revenge when Janet was down in the dumps. It was like kicking a puppy.
“Well, this just ruins my day,” said Syph as she strolled away. “I’ll be in the car.”
Bo
“Gods, huh? What a bunch of dumbasses.”
Janet half-smiled. She sniffled, wiping her nose on the back of her sleeve. “Why do we bother?”
“Can’t live with ’em,” said Bo
She leaned next to Janet.
“See, that was a joke. They’re immortal. You can’t kill them. Get it?”
“Yeah, it was fu
“I know.”
“But you really want to know what pisses me off?” said Janet. “In a hundred years, he’ll be off gallivanting about, having a grand old time. Y’know that the best revenge is living well bullshit? He’ll be living well, all right. And I’ll be dead while he’s whooping it up with some bimbo who isn’t even born yet.”
“Look at it this way,” said Bo
Janet perked up. “Damn it. It’s not over. I’m mooning over some worthless god while Phil’s about to throw himself into the jaws of a dark god to protect his wife.” She jumped in the car. It still wouldn’t start.
“Something’s happened to Phil?” asked Bo
“You know Phil?”
“I know him. What’s wrong with him? Is this about Gorgoz?”
“You know about Gorgoz?”
“I should. I was nearly sacrificed to him,” said Bo
Janet twisted the car keys with the same result every time.
“Come on,” said Bo
Five minutes later, as they drove down the freeway, Syph kept glaring at Janet in the backseat.
She leaned close to Bo
“Because you wouldn’t start her car.”
“I’m not wasting my favor making her life easier,” said Syph with a snort.
“Then sit back and be quiet.”
“Careful. You overstep your bounds, High Priestess.”
“Guess that’s a chance I’ll have to take,” replied Bo
24
Worthington, drinking a glass of wine, sat by his swimming pool. He checked his watch.
His cell phone rang out with “Don’t Fear the Reaper.”
“Yes?”
Gorgoz’s voice asked, “Worthington? Is that you?”
“This is my phone, my dark lord.” Worthington struggled to suppress his a
Gorgoz had a bad habit of shouting into his phone. “When our guest arrives, see that he is brought to me immediately.”
Worthington moved his cell away from his ear. “As you wish, Master.”
The phone went silent for a moment.
“Wretched mortal,” grumbled Gorgoz. “One day, he will burn in eternal agony for his attitude.” An evil laugh rumbled from the speaker. “We’ll see how smug he is when his intestines are pulled out through his-”
Worthington cleared his throat. Loudly.
“Lord, you have to either close the phone or push the button to end the conversation.”
“Oh, bloody hell.” Several bangs and clunks echoed from the phone. “Thinks he’s so clever just because he can operate a fucking phone. I’m the damned lord of chaos. I’m sure that skill will be very helpful when he’s impaled-”