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She followed him. «Listening post?» she said.
«Of course. We must assume this room is bugged. And of course the heavy bars on the window are rigged with a burglar alarm. Isn't it reassuring to know we're being taken care of so well?»
She stood beside him at the barred window, watching the color fade from the evening sky. His arm slipped around her shoulders and rested there, and once again she felt that familiar rush of ambivalent emotion he always inspired in her. He was like a bear in a cage, warm, seemingly docile, yet not tame, not a safe pet, perhaps dangerous. Was he plotting his escape? Was escape possible? No, there was no way even Richard Blade could get out of this place!
Abruptly Richard broke in on her thoughts with, «At supper Dr. Colby called you Mrs. Smythe-Evans. Did you marry during those years I've forgotten?» His voice was casual, as if commenting on the weather.
«Yes, but you must understand…»
«I was under the impression that you were going to marry me. «
«That wasn't possible.» She was flustered, a little defiant.
«Why not?» He was calm, seemingly emotionless.
«You were a stranger. Everything about you was a secret. But even so, I was willing. It was you, after your first enthusiasm wore off, who backed away from the idea.»
She saw a grimace pass fleetingly across his face, saw his eyes close. He said, «I'm remembering things. More than I've let on. I've been remembering bits and flashes since… I don't know. But I've been pushing them out of my mind. They're too insane to be real.»
«Remembering what?»
«A machine. Some kind of computer that sends me into alien universes.»
«It's not insane, Dick. It's true. That machine is what destroyed our relationship, though I didn't know it at the time.»
«It's true? The swordsmen? The primitive societies? The monsters? It's not just my nightmares?»
«It's all true.»
«And the Ngaa?» Richard's forehead glistened with sudden sweat. «Is the Ngaa real too?» He stepped away from her, looking at her intently.
She reached out and grasped his hand. «Yes,» she said softly. «Do you remember the Ngaa?»
«No. Yes. I think so. I see a city drifting high in a dim red sky… a dying sun… a flame-blasted planet below… a hovering ball of blue-white fire… passageways like crystal cathedrals… a jumble of dreams. Oh Zoe, suddenly my head is full of images, impossible images! Was I really there? In the home of the Ngaa?»
«Yes, you were! I wish I could tell you the Ngaa is nothing but a dream, but I can't. It's real and dangerous. And it's followed you here. Can you remember that, too?»
He nodded slowly, his face somber in the failing light. «Yes, I remember. I was in an aircraft, over London. The Ngaa attacked me, entered my mind. But I drove it out! By God, I won against it.»
She hugged him excitedly. «Oh, Dick, that's right! We must tell J and Dr. Colby!»
But he stopped her as she turned toward the door, holding her shoulders in his powerful fingers, and he said, «Not yet. Let me work on my memories alone for a while. If I'm disturbed they may slip away.» She wondered, Is he speaking to me, or to the hidden microphones he thinks are listening to us?
«It wouldn't disturb you if I… stayed with you tonight?» she ventured uncertainly.
There was a long pause, then he answered, puzzled, «But you're married, aren't you? In fact, I seem to remember you have children.»
She could not meet his gaze, but looked out the window, answering unsteadily, «I'm a widow. Don't you remember that?»
«No, I … «
«My children are dead, killed by the Ngaa. Don't you remember that, either?» Her eyes filled with tears. «Don't you remember how everything I'd worked so hard for, my whole carefully built-up life was incinerated in a single night? I envy you your amnesia. God, I wish I could forget! I wish I could forget it all!» The numbness that had gripped her since the fire was leaving at last, but leaving her with a pain she could hardly bear. She tore free of his fingers and threw herself face down on the bed, sobbing.
She felt Richard's hand on her heaving shoulder, heard him say, «I can't bring back what you've lost, but perhaps I can bring you revenge. The Ngaa is powerful, yes, but not omnipotent. I think I can kill it.»
She rolled over and clutched him to her, crying, «No, Dick! Don't try to fight that thing alone. It will kill you!»
She desperately kissed his lips, but he was distant, his thoughts elsewhere. «It won't kill me,» he said. «I know its weakness.»
She thought, He's pla
She kissed him again, and this time he returned her kiss. They made love half-dressed, as if afraid that there was no time, and when she left his room to go to her own she heard the guards locking his door.
The «attendant» looked up as J entered the room, then started to remove his headphones.
«No, no,» said J. «I'm just checking in.»
Disappointed, the attendant gestured toward the amplifier on the table. «Nothing to check. Nothing to hear but snoring. Blade is sleeping like a drunken horse. Want to hear?»
«No, thanks.»
«What time is it?»
J took out his pocketwatch and inspected it in the dim yellow light from the lamp on the bedtable, then answered, «A little after two.»
«Isn't it odd, sir, how people think secret agents lead such exciting lives? They've no idea how bloody boring it is in reality.»
«If they did we'd never be able to recruit anyone, would we?»
«I suppose not.»
«Well, good night.»
«Good night, sir.»
J opened the door to the hall. The sanitarium was so silent the faint distant sounds of a freight train passing through Berkeley were clearly audible. J felt somewhat relieved now that some of his own men, flown in from London, had taken over the watch on Richard. Colby's men were not particularly bright, and one could never be frank with them.
«Wait, sir!» The attendant leaned forward intently.
J reentered the room and closed the door. «What is it?»
«Blade is talking in his sleep.»
«If that's all…» J turned to leave.
«No, he's calling out, 'The Ngaa! The Ngaa!' and tossing and thrashing around. Give a listen.»
«No, I don't think… well, all right.»
J accepted the headphones and put them on.
He recognized Richard's murmuring voice, but could not understand what he was saying except for the one word Ngaa. The bedsprings were creaking and crashing violently.
Suddenly there was silence.
J was about to remove the headphones when he heard Blade speak again, this time clearly, like a man fully awake.
«The Ngaa,» Richard said calmly, without fear.
Then J heard a sound he would hear again and again in nightmares for the rest of his life, the voice of the Ngaa, like the wind, like rustling trees, like a vast multitude of voices whispering in chorus: «Yes, we are the Ngaa.»
«What do you want?» Richard challenged.
«Open the way for us. Let us come through.»
«Never!»
«You are our entrance. Let us come through.»
«No.»
«We have served you well. We have removed your rival, made everything as it was long ago when you were happy. Now you must fulfill your side of the agreement.»
«I made no agreement.»
«You did! With your subconscious mind. We read your desires, listened to your unspoken prayers, and, because we are much like the being you call your God, we have answered. Is there something else you want? Do not speak. We will see it in your mind and obey. We will grant your wish, whatever it may be. But as we serve you, so must you serve us. Escape! We will help you. Return to London. Activate the computer and come to us. Help us to invade your dimension in all our power, to make our home on your world. Our planet is dead and our sun dying. Your planet is green and tempting. Your planet has air and water and living things. Come to us! Come!»