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In fact, deep in the hold of the Reich, the rats were getting agitated, squealing, swarming, bristling with a formidable anxiety. Ever since Italy’s defection, tensions with our other allies let networks of fine cracks appear on the surface of our relations. Each, in his own way, was begi
In the begi
At bottom, the more I managed to observe clearly the maelstrom of intrigues in the high spheres of government, the less interested I was in taking part in them. Before reaching my present position, I had, naïvely no doubt, thought that major decisions were made on the basis of ideological correctness and rationality. I now saw that, even if that remained partially true, many other factors were involved, conflicts of bureaucratic precedence, special interests, or the personal ambition of some. The Führer, of course, couldn’t settle all questions himself; and his intervention aside, a large part of the mechanisms to achieve consensus seemed distorted, even warped. Thomas, in these situations, was like a fish in water; but I felt ill at ease, and not only because I lacked talent for intrigue. It had always seemed to me that these lines of Coventry Patmore would be borne out: The truth is great, and shall prevail, / When none cares whether it prevail or not; and that National Socialism could be nothing but the common search for this truth, in good faith. For me it was all the more necessary since the circumstances of my troubled life, divided between two countries, placed me apart from other men: I too wanted to bear my stone to the common edifice, I too wanted to be able to feel a part of the whole. Alas, in our National Socialist State, and especially outside the circles of the SD, few people thought as I did. In this sense, I could admire the brutal frankness of an Eichma