First Channel

But he had also bought a few trinkets—a rattle for Zeth, a set of tea-glasses for Kadi, a plaid ribbon for Willa, and for Jon something from out-Territory: a compass. "With that, you should find your way in the hills as easily as a Sime!"

"How does it work?" asked Jon.

"I'll show you," said Carlana.

"How are things at Fort Freedom?" asked Del.

"About the same—according to Abel," said Kadi.

"Yes, the same," Carlana said bitterly. "Dan Whelan and the others—those ingrates are destroying him, Del, after everything he's done for them—"

Rimon had never seen Carlana angry before—but her righteous indignation brought her laterals forth in uncontrollable response. Jon, with whom she was still bent over the compass, jerked back with a start of fear. Carlana turned on him but then held back, and his fear died away. "Forgive me, Jon," she murmured.

"It's Jon who should apologize," said Kadi.

Covering his fear with anger, Jon snapped, "She startled me!"

But the stab of fear had been clear to the three Simes– particularly Rimon, who was now approaching need.

Later, after Del and Carlana had gone with their children, Rimon sat before the fire holding Zeth on his lap. "He's grown just in the time I've been away."

"He changes every day," Kadi agreed, watching Zeth grasp his father's finger and pull it to his mouth. "He's getting stronger all the time."

"Tough little frontier kid—he'll do better than either of us. Kadi, was Jon that jumpy the whole time?"

"No, of course not. But it looks as if I'll have to do some more work with him."

"He seemed so much better since Zeth was born."

"Rimon, he calmed right down today. There's no way to control the startle reflex—it happens to me sometimes, too. Don't scold him. You know how hard he's trying."

But trying is not enough. "He's got to learn not to be scared every time something new happens—or we'll have to send him off across the border. Maybe we ought to…"

"He wants so badly to stay," Kadi said. "Give him time."

Rimon felt that Kadi wanted to get his mind off any problems while he was in need. But it was so comfortable to be back in her presence again that he didn't care what she did!

She stayed close to him for the next two days. Willa relinquished without protest the place she had become accustomed to. Nonetheless, Rimon became gradually more nervous than he had been in months. Early on the third day, before anyone else woke, he went out to work off tension by chopping wood. It helped, as always. And in the evening, he knew, they'd have their privacy, for the first thing Rimon had done after Zeth was born was to build another room onto their little house, so they now had their own bedroom.

Over morning tea, he looked into Kadi's eyes and said, "I'm glad we'll have only Gens and a child out here. It's convenient not to have to insulate for privacy, as you do in a Sime household."

"What happens when our kids change over?" she teased.

"By then," Rimon said brightly, "we'll have a bigger house!"

Willa and Jon were stirring now. Jon went outside—to milk the goat, Rimon assumed—and Willa began to prepare breakfast. Zeth started to cry. Kadi laid him on Willa's bed to change him. Rimon sat at the table, staring into his half-empty cup. A sudden shock brought him to his feet. "Yeee! Jon! What the bloodyshen do you think you're doing?"

Kadi, carrying Zeth, followed Rimon to the door. Jon turned to stare at them in astonishment, a small trickle of blood ru

He had set a small mirror on a stump, and was attempting to shave. Obviously, he had just cut himself. "I'm shaving."

"You have no more beard than Willa does!" said Rimon.

His dignity injured, Jon said, "I do so! And besides, how am I going to learn if I don't practice before it gets heavy?"

"Well, practice tomorrow! Don't do things like that when I'm at my most sensitive!"

Jon was immediately contrite. "I'm sorry, Rimon. Sure, I'll wait until tomorrow."

As they went back inside, Rimon said, "I guess that proves he's not afraid of me, even when I'm in need." He managed a wry chuckle. "What was I saying about the convenience of living in a house full of Gens?"

Early that evening, Kadi fed Zeth and left him in Willa's care. Then she and Rimon retired to their room. After all the months of denial, both of them were slightly shy—and yet he sensed Kadi's yearning to give him transfer. Rimon assured her she wasn't fertile now, so they could do as they pleased.

They undressed and got into bed. Rimon drew Kadi close, eyes closed, tension in his body. "After all those months—I thought I'd never survive it—and now you're here again—"

"You know I am," she said. "Every month from now on."

"Until I get you pregnant again," he said bitterly.

"We'll worry about that when the time comes." She pushed back his unruly black hair, kissed his forehead. "Relax, Rimon. You don't have to hold back anymore. Everything's perfect."

She let her own delighted anticipation flow to him. They lay thus as Rimon's tensions slowly drained away. Then he caressed her arms, his laterals teasing her with anticipation before they finally settled into place, and he drew her into lip contact.

A heavenly relief filled Rimon as selyn flowed from Kadi's nerves, tingling through every portion of his being, Kadi's satisfaction growing as Rimon's draw increased, peaked, and slowed. But Kadi wasn't ready—she clung to him, wanting more. He could feel her need to give more, but he could take no more, felt himself sinking into hypoconsciousness, leaving her hovering on the brink of completion.

"What happened?" she asked. "Oh, Rimon, have you grown so used to unsatisfactory transfers that you're holding back with me?"

"No," he whispered. "Kadi, I—That was—Oh, Kadi, that was the best ever, for me. But—you—" He paused to zlin her, with an effort. Then he said, "You're still almost high-field—well, not relative to me, now, but you have more selyn. Kadi, I'm sorry." She was forcing back tears, the first since Zeth was born. "You're feeling a little like I felt after Willa or Jon. Let me try to help—"

He took her into transfer position again. As he sought to ease her discomfort, he found the knack. Her grief faded. "Better?"

She looked up as he retracted his tentacles. "You did that?"

He nodded. "I just—I don't know what I did, but I found a way to take that extra selyn. Now you feel better, and so do I."

"But you controlled me! Rimon—oh, Rimon, I'm sorry for all those times I controlled you. I didn't know how it felt!"

But he was in the full grip of post syndrome while she remained essentially unmoved. Curbing impatience, he leaned back to talk to her. "Don't worry about it. We were just off phase from one another. Today puts us back in phase, and next month it will be right for both of us again."

"Yes," she murmured. "We have to get used to each other again."

"That's right." He kissed her gently, and as he began to caress her tenderly, in all the ways experience had taught him, she slowly began to respond. But there was no trace of the urgency they had always known after a transfer before. Rather there was the gentler sensation that usually characterized their lovemaking a few days after transfer. Had that urgency been abnormal—was this the way it ought to be?

Rimon couldn't spend much time pondering the fact that he hadn't satisfied Kadi in transfer. Everyone's immediate concern now was Willa. Only the girl herself was unconcerned, talking of her upcoming transfer with Jord with happy anticipation. Jord, on the other hand, was as nervous and edgy as Rimon had ever seen him.

When the day came, Rimon, Kadi, and Willa assembled at the Veritt home. Jon went to visit his parents, who were also caring for Zeth today, but Rimon knew that every mind in Fort Freedom was on that one neat house in the center of the community.