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They were gathered in the Temple near the new, enlarged worldcircle, their Dushau Outriders on guard outside the front entry. The Oliat formed up around Jindigar in working array, silting cross-legged on the floor. Jindigar surveyed his officers, clean and neatly bandaged, dressed in carefully patched clothes. None of them were in much better shape than Za
There wasn't a trace of sexual energy left in any of them. Perhaps it would leave them in peace until they'd Dissolved.
Jindigar put it to his Oliat. //My judgment is impaired.
I'm no longer fit to Center.// Jindigar glanced at Dar. The feeling of Dushaun emanating from the worldcircle was strong enough to set off whole trains of association for them both. It wouldn't take much to stir any of them again. //But it seems to me that we'd best not delay any longer.//
Krinata objected. //The colony needs us. Isn't there some way we can at least* go and talk to the hive? I don't want to go out there to live with that sitting on the doorstep—and with the fever loose...//
Venlagar answered, //It isn't up to Jindigar and Darllanyu
to deal with these matters right now. It really isn't their responsibility—nor Za
III can't face it,// a
Ill have made too many wrong decisions in the midst of operations. I don't dare take you back into the field.//
Darllanyu turned to the worldcircle. //And do you call this a wrong decision?//
Ill didn't do this! It just—happened. I didn't know it was even possible to bring one world through another world's circle!//
//Listen to yourself,// argued Darllanyu. //You performed according to the highest Aliom ideals—you executed a "strike"—acting and reacting perfectly. You've worked three thousand years to develop that ability. Why should you be surprised when it produces the very serendipity Aliom promises?//
Trinarvil passed her hand through the zone above the circle. //Dar, I don't think he realizes what he's done. He hasn't suffered much, yet, from dysattunement.//
//He may never now. Maybe no one will.// Darllanyu rose and stepped into the circle, her form instantly enveloped in the shrouding whiteness.
Jindigar's breath caught in his throat, for despite the bandage slanted over one side of her head, she was the image of the bride awaiting the marriage trial. He almost didn't register Trinarvil's comment. //Maybe it's not a myth that Dushaun was colonized.... Jindigar has discovered a way it could have been done! He's brought through to Phanphihy that overtone which we think of as Dushaun, but which is really from our planet of origin. I wonder if even Threntisn's Archive has anything on that!//
Darllanyu moved out of the circle, and Jindigar released his breath. She came and folded herself down before him. Her nearness sent a strange new kind of quiver through him, and he knew, suddenly, that he'd taken a giant leap into Renewal with the Eithlarin operation.
//Jindigar, I maligned you that night, before we tried for Eithlarin. You are nothing less than an accomplished and dedicated Aliom Priest. No one else could have done this. I trust you—in the field—or anywhere.//
//No, Dar, you were right. I've discovered that a lot of people I haven't been listening to may have been right about me all along.// Like my father, for example. Jindigar was acutely aware of Krinata. He had the linkages open evenly, trying to rest their nerves. Krinata, sensing an intimacy in their words, was feeling embarrassed, as if she were eavesdropping. //Zunre, I've begun to have the kind of self-revelations that generally come beyond the onset of Renewal. Dar's insights into the deeper truths about me are very valuable to me. I want to spend this Renewal with her.//
//And I with him,// responded Dar formally, as if they had never made the a
Their eyes met, and all the friction was gone between them. Perhaps they would now settle easily into full Renewal. The promise made Jindigar eager enough to have forgotten the precarious position of the colony. But Darllanyu finally saw the change in him and pulled back, moving to the Formulator's position. //But first we must discover what can be done about I he hive, Chinchee doesn't stay anywhere very long. When he leaves, the colony will have no means whatever of talking to the hive. With communication there's a chance for an alliance.//
//And it's up to us to find a way to communicate, // concluded Krinata, //before we Dissolve.//
There was a set to her features and a hardness in her gaze that made Jindigar feel she was about to challenge Center again. //You don't know what you're saying, Krinata. You're talking about suicide—group suicide. If we go on, there'll be no hope for any of us to survive Dissolution.//
Very calmly Darllanyu questioned that. //How do you know we haven't passed that point already?//
TEN
Historian's Method
Darllanyu gazed steadily at Krinata, illicit Center whose presence already condemned at least some of them to Incompletion– death. The Formulator’s dread was so cold, it was a calm that spoke as loudly as the riotous sensuality her condition broadcast through the links.
His mate's chill acceptance tapped a still quietude Jindigar hadn't known was at the center of the gibbering fear knotted inside him. He confessed with growing astonishment at the deeply mature tone of his voice, III don't know I haven't long since sacrificed all our lives, just by accepting Krinata into Office. There is no way to predict what will happen when*a dual-Center Oliat tries to Dissolve. Sometimes a few officers survive. I have been hoping to minimize our losses—only hoping.//
He felt Dar's scrutiny rake through him, reassessing him, and simultaneously her very identity shifted, sending starbursts sparkling through the linkages. So that's what it looks like when Renewal compels realization of an error. An Oliat couldn't function in the field with such disruptions to the linkages.
//Why hope?// challenged Darllanyu. //Remember, our objective is not to survive but to implant a colony—a Dushau multicolony, the first of its kind. Raichmat's zunre agreed this is a necessary step for Dushaun. We are moving in a riptide of history. And always at such points, some die that the concept may live. Jindigar—maybe the Historians have a healthier attitude toward Completion than Aliom. Maybe we shouldn't cling to ourselves so much as to the currents that are carrying us.//
Jindigar flicked his attention to Krinata. They all knew she considered herself Takora/Ontarrah reborn, but they didn't know how close he was to accepting that as a fact. //Dar, you don't believe that if we die, we will be reborn ephemeral?// So sacrificing our lives for this colony would be so trivial that to refuse to do it would be such a crime against the Laws of Nature that we'd lose our chance at Completion. He couldn't accept that.
Ill think,// she replied, //we must admit that we do not know what we don't know. But we must act on what we do know—our objective—to begin a society where Dushau and ephemeral are bound into a single unit designed to protect this world from the galaxy, and the galaxy from this world, until they can be united into one. Raichmat's Oliat knew this planet could not be colonized except by Dushau, but that even we could not survive here as a single species. Raichmat's knew what the price would be. You were Outreach to Raichmat don't you remember?//