Farfetch

"I don't know that you haven't failed already. With the

Seal broken I've no way to test it, short of absolute proof of your fidelity. How did you break into it? Inverting?"

Jindigar held himself very still, but his confession when it came held neither guilt, remorse, nor pride. "Yes." Jin-digar recited the events that led to Desdinda's death as if telling off memory beads on a well-worn string.

Finally he added, "We were a very hasty, unbalanced triad, and I did Invert them—but only to affect the Emperor's machinery, which was being used to keep us from our proper place in the pattern—I wouldn't expect a Historian to understand. We did survive, so I was right. But Desdinda's death left us all injured—so I was also wrong. Frey eventually died as a result of a train of bad judgments, for which I'm also responsible. If Krinata and I die because of the Archive being unSealed, then it will confirm the injunction against Inversion, for it will be clear that Inverting has impaired my judgment, preventing anyone associated with me from attaining Completion."

"And if you survive?" Threntisn prompted.

"It won't disprove the theory, for the dangers are as formidable as reputed. Threntisn, I didn't Invert originally to disprove the major tenet of Aliom! It was a 'strike,' an unpremeditated action, an expression of the primal desire to survive to Completion. I believe I still have a good chance at it." He explained how Desdinda's death had left a Loop impressed on Krinata, and how she'd finally dealt with it in the hive. She hardly recognized a single image. But it brought back the stark terror, the forced confrontation, and the infinite relief she'd felt. Those had become such an integral part of her identity, she didn't know they were there anymore.

He finished his account, adding, "I couldn't help either Frey or Krinata because of the Archive. Krinata healed herself, despite the hive's Long Memory, while Frey failed."

"You put the Archive above your zunre's lives?"

Jindigar hung his head. His sigh was a long shudder. But when he raised his eyes, he said firmly, "Yes. And I will always, because if I break my pledge to Grisnilter, what good is my pledge to my zunre, and if I forsake fidelity, how can I or my zunre achieve Completion?"

Threntisn turned to Krinata. "How do you feel about that?"

"Maybe I can't ever know how a Historian regards Identity, but I'm begi

Astonished, Threntisn asked Jindigar, "Is she another Ontarrah? Is that why Darllanyu—"

Ontarrah. Images of a sumptuous bedchamber flooded into her mind, and suddenly she knew who Ontarrah was, though the memory had that same maybe-not-dream quality which so confused her these days.

"No, she's not," Jindigar answered levelly. "We won't make that mistake again. But I owe her my life, many times over. She's zunre to me, and your son—and so to you. Take the Archive, Threntisn—before it does become altered—and let me fulfill my other obligations."

Silently he weighed Jindigar, and Krinata thought he'd do it, but he said, "I believe you, Jindigar, and I want to now. But I can't. I must have full-jeopardy, objective proof for the record before I can risk it. Doesn't Aliom have some such law for its Seniors?"

"Yes, of course. I understand, but I disagree. There must be some law you are breaking by forcing this choice upon me." He glanced at the sun. "We must go." On the stairs he turned and added, "After you fished us out of the Archive's Eye, I thought you'd understand."

"I do, Jindigar. You chose Dissolution with the Archive, rather than break either oath. You'd have made a great. Historian. That's the only other choice you have, you know." He gestured to the portal behind him. "Come in and let me teach you to reSeal it and foster it yourself."

Jindigar looked up at the other man with an ironic smile. "I will—on the day you become an Aliom priest."

"Then we may go to dissolution/death together, each clinging to our own path to Completion and failing."

Jindigar sighed, shook his head, and took Krinata off toward the street that led to the compound gate.

Eye of the Archive. The image awakened vague shuddering terrors for Krinata. "It seems everybody else remembers what happened in that grieving. All I seem to have is a determination never to try it again!"

"Grieving itself isn't a fearful experience; being dragged into someone else's attempted suicide is. I'm sorry, Krinata, but you left me no choice."

When she asked what he meant, he drew her a vivid word picture of the Archive swallowing them. She recalled the jagged black pi

"It was the only way out for me. The problem, of course, was how many other lives were risked for my sake and what I owe them all for that."

"I didn't know anyone else was involved when I did it."

"No?" He shook his head. "Pi

"I hope my blood didn't rain the strings."

"I cleaned them easily. Such an instrument doesn't survive by being sensitive to moisture, remember?"

The memory of the waterfall in the small canyon rushed at her through the duad link. All the reasons he shouldn't come to care for her flooded into her mind. "Jindigar—"

"I hope you'll play for me, now that your fingers are healed. It could help you recall Prey's grieving and make it useful to you." They were at the portal, and he said, before she could answer, "Come, let's alert the Outriders, then go down by the river and watch the piols fish."

The Outriders were camped just within the walls that enclosed the entry to the Dushau compound. Clearly this outer area would contain small cabins to house the Outriders—who had better sense than to intrude on the i

Cyrus turned. "Jindigar! Come, sit down! Krinata—"

"Oh, no! I forgot, Cy! I was—"

"It's okay. They told me you were on another job."

Jindigar lowered himself to sit on a pack beside the fire, and Storm fussed over him, insisting they stay for di

"I'm fine now, really. Thank you," said Jindigar.

They served a haunch of meat, with eggs and fruit, saying, "We'll be laying in supplies for the winter as soon as the smoke pits are ready."

"Good," said Jindigar. "This community will survive." And he explained the needs of the new Oliat—how much more delicate their balance was than the groups who worked for the Allegiancy. "Ordinarily such an Oliat would work only on Dushaun, using Officers as Outriders. Here, we need you to relate them to the ephemeral community."

"We'll keep ephemerals away from them until they're ready," said Storm,

They talked of the community's plans for defense, then they all went with Jindigar for his first view of the river. While the others splashed about with people just getting off work and corning to bathe, the piols flashed about deviling the swimmers. Krinata and Jindigar found a spot under a tree and sat talking. After a while Jindigar questioned her about how she was getting along. "Does Viradel bother you?"

"She doesn't seem to be spreading rumors. I've met some friendly people, but there are also those who won't speak to me. On the whole, mis is an unusually harmonious group."