Doris Lessing

Therefore, she did not say to Philip that these walls should be properly scraped and cleaned. She said that if Philip had spare overalls, she would start in now; it was only ten o'clock. He went to work on the plastering, and she painted. They worked all night. Twice a pair of policemen, neither of whom Alice knew, went past and looked in. Once the Greek sauntered by, thinking he was not noticed.

By morning Philip had done the plastering. Alice had put a first coat on the three walls and the ceiling.

She knew that the Greek would be in the moment they left and would find fault.

She and Philip went back to number 43; and there were Jasper and Bert, eating bacon and eggs. There was a look to both of them she did not like - this was the first impression, before all of them exploded into smiles and embraces. For, of course, the sight of Jasper melted away everything Alice had felt; she was happy, she was herself, she had been half a person without him. And he was as pleased; he even kissed her, his dry lips light on her cheek, his arms like a circle of bone, but meaning warmth, meaning love.

Philip did not stay, said he must get two hours of sleep. This was the amount he had allowed himself, after two nights and two days of sleeplessness. He imploringly looked at Alice, for she had said that was all she would need before starting in again.

But here was Jasper! Philip, from the door, glanced back at Jasper, and there on his face was the recognition of inevitability, Jasper as doom, for of course now Alice would not keep her word....

But Alice would keep her word, although she knew that this moment, now, when Jasper was just back and the pressures on him from her, which he had to resist, had not yet begun to build, was when she could hear about his adventures - and once the moment had passed, she would get nothing, only curt yeses and noes.

There was something about these two men - a feverishness in their eyes, some bad kind of excitement - what was it? Well, it wasn't to do with Jasper's sex life, for Bert did not share that; but Bert had the same look. Anger, was it? Restlessness, certainly. Only exhaustion? Perhaps. They said the crossing on the boat had been bad, and that they had not slept for some nights. They would go up to sleep now.

Alice explained what she was doing; the conventions of commune or squat life ensured that they would commend her for helping a fellow.

They said nothing about coming to help themselves.

Up the stairs they went together, a pair, a unit, welded by all their experiences, about which they had been prepared to say only that the tour wasn't bad, the Soviet Union's trouble was bureaucracy; if the comrades could sort that out, it might even be a pleasure to go there.

And after the Soviet Union? They had left the tour at Moscow, and gone to Holland. It hadn't stopped raining.

Bert went to his sleeping bag on the other side of the wall from Alice. Jasper found his room upstairs occupied by Jocelin's things. Great crashes and bangs from up there: Jasper was heaving out the furniture from the room next to Mary and Reggie's, onto the landing. Alice knew this was happening, could hear from the noise that Jasper was in one of his rages, when he could shift cupboards and packing cases as if he were ten men. She slept, with her internal alarm set for two hours' time.

And woke again, doleful, desperate; there was no way she could see out of helping Philip, yet she could not really help Philip. And she wanted to be with Jasper.

The Greek's premises were done by midnight. Two coats on everything. Even on the plaster, though it was too soon. Everything, too quick, rushed. Done adequately. Done, as far as Alice was concerned, with no pleasure.

At midnight, the three again stood together under the glaring working lights, this time surrounded by primrose-yellow walls, which the Greek stared at, one after another, despising them.

Everything happened as Alice had known it must.

The work was not up to standard; Alice was only an amateur and Philip a crook. He, the Greek, would have to pay someone else to come in and finish the job. (Of course, all three knew that this was a lie; customers would see only a fresh and charming yellow - which would soon, however, begin to flake.) Philip could go to the police if he liked, but not another pe

Alice came in with words, cold and hot. They fought. Philip, white as an egg, stutteringly intervened. The end of it was that Philip got two-thirds of what had been contracted.

At one in the morning, Alice and Philip shouldered ladders, trestles out of the shop, knowing that these would be confiscated if they were left. Alice stood guard while little Philip staggered the half mile up the road with a ladder three times his height, and came back with Bert and Jasper, who were helping him because they had to. Bert had been pulled out of his sleeping bag.

Philip's gear was got safely into the downstairs room, Jim's room, and Philip stayed there with it, in a state of angry despair.

Bert went back to bed. Smiling and gentle, like a bride, Alice said to Jasper that it would be nice if he would sit with her while she ate. She had scarcely eaten that day. He said, curtly, yes, there was something he wanted to discuss with her. But tomorrow would do. Off he went upstairs, to sleep.

Without eating, so did Alice; she felt as though she were being dragged over a waterfall, or into an abyss, but did not know why.

Awake early because she was hungry, she was in the kitchen eating when Philip came in. He was red-eyed and beside himself. Mad, Alice judged. Simply not himself.

He probably had not slept but had been awake with thoughts he had been marshalling, ready for presentation the moment he could get her alone.

He sat himself down, but so lightly that he could jump up again on the crest of any wave of the argument. His fists rested side by side before him.

He knew of another job, a shop just opening up. He could get it, but it would have to be within the next day or so. It was no use working by himself. He had to have a partner - Alice could see that for herself, surely? Alice ought to come in with him! They would make a fine team. She was such a good painter, so neat and quick. Between them there was no job they couldn't tackle. After all, Alice wasn't doing anything with her time!

He was shouting at her because he knew she was going to refuse him and the rage of rejection was already in him. He could have been threatening her, instead of suggesting a partnership.

"All you people," he yelled, "never lift a finger, never do any work, parasites, while people like me keep everything going...." It seemed he was going to weep, his voice was so heavy with betrayal. "They talk about all these unemployed everywhere, people wanting work, but where are they? I can't find anyone to work with me. So what about it, Alice?" he demanded, aggressive, accusing.

She, of course, said no.

He then shouted at her that she cared about no one but herself - "just like everybody else." She had got Jim thrown out of his job and had never given a thought to him since. Where was Jim? She didn't know or care. And Monica - oh yes, he knew all about that, he had heard, Monica had been sent off on a wild-goose chase to an empty house - he supposed that was Alice's idea of a joke. Faye could have died, for all the trouble she was prepared to take, wouldn't even call an ambulance. And she didn't care about him, Philip, once she had got all she could out of him, got him working day and night for peanuts, and now she'd got her house, he-Philip - could go to the wall for all she cared about him.