Knitting Under the Influence

“Does this mean you have to give the ring back?” Lucy said.

They slept together in the king-size bed that night, all three of them. They left the doors to the lanai open and ocean breezes sent them all spi

At one of her more-awake-than-asleep moments, Kathleen stumbled into the bathroom and slurped water greedily straight from the faucet. When she came back, Sari whispered hoarsely, “You okay?”

“Yeah.” She crawled into bed next to Sari. “Except I feel like whatever I do tomorrow, I’m going to be making a big mistake.”

“That means that whatever you do, you're saving yourself from a big mistake,” Sari said. “Look at it that way.”

“That helps,” Kathleen said. She snuggled close and eventually they fell back to sleep.

The girls were subdued in the morning, not talking much as they showered and got dressed-not in sarongs and bikinis this time, but in their regular jeans and tank tops.

“Oh, shit,” Lucy said, picking up the knitting she'd left on the chair the night before. “Oh, shit!” She held it up for the others to see. A bunch of stitches had fallen off the circular needles and one stitch had pulled out in a run that went hallway down the whole thing. “I can't believe it,” she said. “I’m going to have to start all over again.”

Sari exclaimed in sympathy, but when she went to pick up her own knitting, she realized she had her own problems. “Oh, man, look at this. I forgot to switch colors. Now the red part's twice as wide as it's supposed to be. I’m going to have to rip out everything I did last night.”

“And mine's all tangled,” Kathleen said, shoving it into her knitting bag. “I’ll deal with it later. But clearly it's a mistake to knit when you're drunk.”

“They should warn people about this,” Sari said. “Maybe even make it a law-don't drink and knit.” She looked at Kathleen.

“How are you doing this morning?”

“A little hungover.”

“Any change of heart?”

Kathleen shook her head. “No. You're right. I shouldn't get married.”

“Is there someone else?”

“Not really. Maybe. But it's not that. It's-” She fingered a shell on the desk; Lucy had brought it back from the beach the day before. It was bone-white and smooth. “I like Kevin. But I don't really want to spend the rest of my life with him. I get bored whenever we're alone together for more than an hour or two.” She looked up. “I was drunk when I said yes. And I thought if I pretty much stayed drunk from then until the wedding, I’d get through it and then it would just be done and once it was done, I’d just, you know… kind of go with it.”

“Someday you'll meet a guy you won't have to get drunk to marry,” Lucy said.

“Or not,” Kathleen said.

“Or not,” Sari said. “Either way, you're right not to do this.”

They all went into the kitchen together. Kevin was already sitting at the table, drinking coffee and leafing through a newspaper. He looked up with a pleasant smile. “There you are! I figured you all fell asleep in a great big heap last night, like a litter of puppies.”

“Yeah, basically,” Sari said with a quick sideways glance at Kathleen, who was hesitating, biting her lip. It was strange to see Kathleen look so unsure of herself.

Kevin didn't seem to notice, though. “I made coffee, if anyone wants some. From Kona beans-the best there is. Help yourselves.”

“Thanks,” said Lucy and went to pour herself a cup.

Sari stayed right at Kathleen's elbow.

Kevin turned the page, smoothed the paper out in front of him and said to Kathleen, “So, ready to go get married?”

“No,” Kathleen said.

“I know.” He was still smiling. “I’m nervous, too.”

“It's not that,” she said. She reached for Sari's hand and squeezed it painfully tight as she went on. “I’m not ready to get married, Kevin. I’m sorry. We talked a lot last night and I realized I’m just not ready for this.”

“Oh,” he said. He looked disappointed. “I know I was kind of rushing things. It just seemed so perfect doing it here.” He brightened. “But maybe it does make more sense to wait a little while.”

Kathleen was silent.

“Right?” he said. “We can go back home, enjoy being engaged, make some long-term plans… Actually, I was a little worried about my family's reaction-you know, not being included and all. Maybe it's better this way. We can do the whole big wedding thing in the spring and make my mother happy.”

Kathleen let go of Sari's hand and tugged the engagement ring off her finger. “That's not what I meant.” She stepped toward him and held the ring out. “I want you to take this back.”

“What are you talking about?” He stared at the ring like he didn't know what it was or what he was supposed to do with it.

“You're a nice guy,” Kathleen said. “The nicest. And this is a record for me. I don't last long with guys. You can ask the girls-” She gestured at Lucy and Sari with her free hand. “This has been one of the longest relationships I’ve ever had.”

“It has,” Lucy said, over the rim of her coffee cup. “Really.”

“See?” Kathleen said. “So that proves, you know, that you're special. And wonderful. But it's still… I mean… I can't-” She took a deep breath. “Time's up, I guess. That's all.”

“Ah,” he said. “Time's up.” He still hadn't moved.

Sari nudged Lucy on the arm and gestured with her head toward the door. “Excuse us,” she said and pulled Lucy out of the kitchen, leaving the other two frozen in position behind them, Kathleen holding the ring toward Kevin and Kevin sitting there, not taking it.

“She said she wanted us to stay with her,” Lucy said when they were out of earshot. She set her mug down on a side table they were passing. “Why are we leaving?”

“Because Kevin deserves some privacy right now. He doesn't need us rubbernecking while his hopes are being crushed.”

“Oh, sure,” Lucy said. “Now you're all concerned about him.

But last night, when I was the one defending him-”

“We did the right thing. But that doesn't mean we get to watch. Come on-” Sari led her toward the back of the house. “Let's go say goodbye to the beach.”

“If you hadn't talked her out of marrying him, all this could have been ours,” Lucy said as they stepped out onto the deck and looked around. It was a perfectly glorious morning. But then it was probably always a perfectly glorious morning there.

“You're assuming we'd have been invited.”

“Well, for sure we won't now,” Lucy said. “How much do you think he hates us?”

“Kevin?” Sari said. “I don't think he's the hating type.”

“I was right all along. I said he was too nice for Kathleen.”

“That's sort of true. But nice isn't everything, Luce. I mean, you don't want a guy to be mean, but you do want him to be-”

“What?”

“Something more than just nice,” Sari said and turned her back on the ocean.

They made a pretty sober group on the flight back. For once, no one felt much like talking. Sari had brought her laptop, so she worked. Lucy watched the movie and knit-her circular needles were plastic, so the airline allowed them onboard. Sari and Kathleen had brought metal needles, which they'd had to check.

Kathleen put her seat back as far as it would go and closed her eyes-either she was asleep or just thinking, and, either way, the others felt they should leave her in peace.

Lucy was the only one with a car at the airport, so she drove the other two home. They dropped off Kathleen first. Kathleen pulled her suitcase out of the trunk and turned to face her friends, who had gotten out of the car to say goodbye.

“You okay?” Lucy said.

“I’m fine.”

“You want us to come in for a while?” Sari asked.

“Nah,” Kathleen said. “I’m really okay. And-no offense, guys-but we've had a lot of togetherness lately.”