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“It's not really your fault.” Kelly flipped the hair back over her shoulder. “If she can't see how disgusting he is, there's kind of nothing anyone can do, anyway. I mean, I’m her identical twin and I can't get her to see it, you know? And now she said they might even move in together. Can you believe it?”
“No,” Kathleen said. “I can't. But-and believe me, no one thinks the guy's more repulsive than I do-but I guess she does have a right to her own life. Everyone does.”
“Not us,” Kelly said. “Not Christa and me. We can't live our own lives. Not like other people.” She sighed so deeply you could see the exposed part of her stomach rise up and then relax back down. “People only want to see us together. If we separate-” She didn't bother to finish the sentence, just shrugged and waved her hand. Her fingernails were painted dark orange. “You know,” she said, “you're the lucky one. You only have to deal with, you, know what I mean?”
“Yeah,” Kathleen said. “There's only ever been me.”
VI
Eloise wouldn't let Sari have any more time alone with Charlie for the rest of the evening. Sari went back into the family room after di
The phone rang while they were still washing up, and Sari's father called to them from the bedroom to say it was Cassie. Sari's mother lit up. “I knew she'd call! She wouldn't let Thanksgiving come and go without calling. Not Thanksgiving.”
She pounced on the phone and said, “Cassie darling!” And then, “We're just fine! Wonderful! Sari came with her old chum Lucy and it's been just the loveliest time.”
“Just the loveliest,” Sari said to Lucy, who smothered a laugh.
Eloise held the phone out to Sari. “She wants to say hi to you.
Sari put it to her ear. “Hi,” she said warily.
“I can't believe you're there,” Cassie said. “You're even crazier than they are. Which I wouldn't have thought was possible.”
Sari couldn't really argue with any of that. “How's your Thanksgiving going?”
“Fine. Cold.”
“Where are you?”
“Vermont,” Cassie said. “Bet you're losing your mind there, huh?”
“You're not wrong,” Sari said.
“Still desperate to have children of your own?”
“I never said I was. I just said I couldn't promise not to.”
“Yeah, whatever. Tell Mom I had to go. I can't talk to her again. I don't even know why I called in the first place. There was some ad on TV that got to me and I felt guilty for a second. I’m already regretting it. Don't have kids, Sari. Just don't.”
“I’m not pla
“You're such a fucking coward. Happy Thanksgiving.”
“You, too,” Sari said, but Cassie had already hung up. Eloise held out her hand expectantly.
“She's gone,” Sari said, turning the phone off. Her mother pouted. “I hardly got to talk to her. Why did you hang up so fast?”
“I didn't,” Sari said. “She did.”
“Oh.” Eloise took the phone from her hand and popped it back into its base. “Well, she's probably busy. You know Cassie.”
“Not really,” Sari said. “Do you?”
“Don't be silly.” Her mother left the room to get a few more things off the dining room table.
Lucy and Sari looked at each other. “Car?” Lucy said. “Now? Please?”
“Yeah, all right,” Sari said. “I don't know what I’m waiting for, anyway. Let's just go.”
“Sweetest words I’ve ever heard.” They dried their hands on a dish towel and went to say goodbye.
In the family room, Sari knelt in front of Charlie, getting between him and the TV, so he had to look at her. He smiled and leaned sideways so he could see around her. “Goodbye, Sari,” he said.
“I love you,” she said.
“I love you,” he repeated.
“You see?” Sari's mother said. She had followed Sari in there. “You see? He loves like a child, pure and simple and with his whole heart. If everyone were like Charlie, there would be no wars, no cruelty, no fighting.”
“Just a whole lot of TV watching,” Sari said, rising back to her feet.
In the car, Lucy said, “When did she get so religious? I don't remember her going on and on about God when we were in high school.”
“It's been building up over the years,” Sari said. “It's not like she ever went to church when we were kids. Actually, I don't even think she goes to church now. She worships at the House of Denial.”
“She lives in the House of Denial,” Lucy said. “What's up with all that ‘God made him the way he is so we can't even try to help him’ shit?”
“I’ve been trying to figure that one out for years,” Sari said. “All I can guess is that if she let herself think for a second that Charlie could have been different, could have been better-maybe even have had a decent life-if she'd just done things differently, then she'd have to think that she messed up somehow.”
“But it was different back then, right?” Lucy said. “No one would blame her for not having known what to do when he was little. No one knew. But now I don't get why she doesn't let you-you, of all people, her own daughter who's an expert in the field-why she doesn't just let you help him.”
Sari stared out the windshield. “Believe me, I’ve asked myself the same question at least fourteen billion times. I’ve even asked her. All she ever says is that same shit about Charlie being what God made him. It's like she got her mind set into this place and she can't change it, because it's protected her too long from… I don't know. Guilt, I guess. Or maybe just reality.”
“Can't you make her do something? For Charlie's sake? I mean there's got to be some way to protect a kid from a mother like that.”
“She's not abusing him,” Sari said. “She's just not expanding his world. I asked Ellen once if there were any legal steps I could take as his sister, and she said that if my mother's healthy and Charlie isn't asking for help, then I was stuck. My mom's his legal guardian, not me.”
“What about your dad? Have you asked him about it?”
“All he does is shrug and say, ‘That's your mother's arena.’” She let her head fall back onto the headrest.
“There's got to be something we can do.”
“I wish.” Sari rolled her head to look at Lucy, whose brow was wrinkled in concentration. It made Sari love her friend- that she wanted to find a solution.
After a moment, Lucy said, “What if you offered to take Charlie out-just for a little while-like once a week? And we quickly did some work with him? Help him learn enough to know he wants to learn more?”
“She won't let us,” Sari said. “You don't understand.”
“She might.”
“She won't. She won't even let me be in the room alone with him for more than a minute.”
“We could say we're just taking him out for di
“Lucy,” Sari said and sat up straight in her seat. “Believe me when I say I’ve tried and believe me when I say that she won't let me help him. I’ve spent my entire life wanting to make things better for Charlie, and she won't let me.”
“That,” Lucy said, “sucks.”
“Beyond belief,” Sari said and slumped back down again.