The Compleat Bolo

ii

I have no explanation to offer. This curious occurrence is quite outside my experience as Project Officer for the Bolo. Perhaps it represents some serendipitous ability which has arisen as a result of the concatenation of side-effects due to the close juxtaposition and interco

iii

This is ridiculous. I want the damned thing located by 0900 hours tomorrow at the latest. Somebody is going to suffer for this. The infernal Bolo is making us all look like a pack of fools. Find it! No excuse will be accepted.

iv

I never seen nothing nor heard nothing. I was off-duty, sleeping yonder in the barracks, and I never woke up. Had some good beer in me, and I sleep sound. How'd I know anything was going to happen?

v

Bunky,

When you find it, I'm going to hit it with our Zeus missile, provided, of course, it's not in a populated area-and how could it be, and not be spotted yet? Don't worry, all precautions will be taken, but this has gone far enough. -Tubby

vi

Over there, Flip! Beyond that line of trees across the river. Let's just take a look. We'll hold fifteen hundred feet, and take it slow. Use your cameras, but don't let it look like a strafing run, or that thing will open up on us. We have to assume it's on full war footing. Wait a minute, as you were. What do you say, Flip? Is that the Bolo-or just an old church or something? About the right size, can't be sure. Shall we photograph it and let HQ decide? I've got the location down to inches. Let's go!

vii

We must remain calm. The unfortunate bombing of the village of Lakeside, Mi

117

It becomes apparent to me that there are many vital matters of which my builders failed to inform me. I am reluctantly obliged to consider the possibility that these matters are not known to humanity-which is in itself a curious anomaly y since evidence of their existence permeates the cosmos. I shall devote further study to this, and shall at once allocate.01 seconds to a preliminary review of pertinent data.

118

(from the Chief, Imperial Communications Net, Military Sector, to Hexagon)

Yes, I acknowledge it is curious that we were unable to obtain a fix on the Bolo's transmission, but you must recall that it has blanketed the entire band, and preempted the transcontinental and transoceanic cables and satellites as well. The technology involved is well beyond the so-called "state of the art." I can offer no hypothesis as to how the circuitry of the machine could exceed its design parameters. But it has done so.

As to the nature of its substantive demands- no, let's be fair-requests, I see no objection on military grounds. If the damned thing thinks it needs access to the Orbiting Radioscope Facility, it probably does. Request approved. Full cooperation is to be given in accessing the ORF output.

119

(from General Lord Margrave to Lord Chief of the Imperial Budget Claypool)

How should I know what it's doing? It's just lying low and making plans, I suppose. Meanwhile, we've got to prepare for the worst. That's why I've asked for the additional funding. Yes, I'm aware no such item was included in my budget for Fiscal '92, but then nobody knew about this at the time the project was under preparation. I'm willing to do my job, but that costs money, and if you fellows aren't willing to ante up, you'll have to live with the consequences.

120

(media interview at Imperial Air Reco

Sure, it could be at the South Pole, except that we've overflown Antarctica and photographed every square inch of it-yes, and probed through the ice with radar. At least we improved our maps of the rocky surface under the ice. The Bolo isn't there. What's that? Space? I suppose so. If it could levitate out of a military reservation to God-knows-where, I suppose it could just as easily go into orbit.

121

(from the EMPIRE TODAY breakfast trideocast)

The former Queen's Park, an ongoing bone of contention between local residents-many of them high-level Imperial officials-and the Department of Public Works, due to an extraordinary overgrowth of vegetation, has now been razed, excavated to a depth of six feet, refilled with sterile soil, and is under observation to be certain that the curious phenomenon has been completely curtailed, a Departmental spokesman says. Weeds which sprouted during the refill process appear normal, it was reported unofficially. No decision has yet been a

122

(dictation taped from Georgius Imperator to his private secretary)

…and the next note: "for the personal attention of His Imperial Highness, General of the Army, Prince of the West, William, et cetera, et cetera."… Willy's a touchy devil, wouldn't do to skimp on his style… "Willy, I want some definite answers on the matter before the big shindig-"… no, don't say that. Better make it the Imperial Honors Ball… "-on Saturday next. I'd like to be able to hand you the Parliamentary Medal of Honor for at least finding the damned thing, if not neutralizing it. I still say it's acting in the best interest of the Empire, but I agree, we do need to know what's going on. George."… Clean that up and get it to him right away, whether he's at his Swiss retreat or asleep at Windsor, or whatever. Do it!

123

(field agent, southwest sector, to Imperial Intelligence)

It's only an idea, maybe no good. But if the Bolo Caesar has found out about the big lift-flat still in storage here at Mojave-sure, it's under tight security, but the Bolo could have deduced its existence through Information access- well, maybe it'll head for here.