Remember Me?

“Hi, you guys!” I look around with the warmest, friendliest smile I can muster. “I’m back again!”

“Hi, Lexi.” There’s a general muted reply and Fi makes a kind of acknowledging shrug. Okay, it wasn’t a smile-but at least it was a reaction.

“You look really nice, Fi! That top’s great.” I gesture at her cream shirt and she follows my gaze in surprise. “And Debs, you look fab too. And Carolyn! Your hair looks so cool, all cropped like that and…and those boots are fantastic!”

“These?” Carolyn snorts with laughter and kicks one brown suede boot against the other. “I’ve had them for years.”

“Well, still…they’re really striking!”

I’m gabbling with nerves, talking a load of bollocks. No wonder they all seem unimpressed. Fi’s arms are folded and Debs looks like she wants to giggle.

“So, anyway…” I force myself to slow down a bit. “I got you all a little something. Fi, this is for you, and Debs…”

As I hand over the gift bags they suddenly look ridiculously shiny and conspicuous.

“What’s this for?” Debs says blankly.

“Well, you know! Just to…um…” I falter slightly. “You guys are my friends, and…Go on. Open them!”

Giving each other uncertain looks, all three start ripping at their wrapping paper.

“Gucci?” Fi says in disbelief as she pulls out a green jewelry box. “Lexi, I can’t accept-”

“Yes, you can! Please. Just open it, you’ll see…”

Silently, Fi snaps it open to reveal a gold bangle watch.

“D’you remember?” I say eagerly. “We always used to look at them in the shop windows. Every weekend. And now you’ve actually got one!”

“Actually…” Fi sighs, looking uncomfortable. “Lexi, I got it two years ago.”

She lifts up her sleeve and she’s wearing exactly the same watch, only a little duller and older-looking.

“Oh,” I say, my heart sinking. “Oh, right. Well, never mind. I can take it back, or exchange it, we can get something else…”

“Lexi, I can’t use this,” Carolyn chimes in, and hands back the perfume gift set I bought her, together with the leather tote it came in. “That smell makes me gag.”

“But it’s your favorite,” I say in bewilderment.

“Was,” she corrects me. “Before I fell pregnant.”

“You’re pregnant?” I stare at her, overwhelmed. “Oh my God! Carolyn, congratulations! That’s so wonderful! I’m so happy for you. Matt will be the best dad ever-”

“It’s not Matt’s baby.” She cut me off flat.

“It’s not?” I say stupidly. “But what…Did you two break up?”

They can’t have broken up. It’s impossible. Everyone assumed Carolyn and Matt would be together forever.

“I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” Carolyn says almost in a whisper. To my horror I see her eyes have turned pink behind her glasses and she’s breathing hard. “See you.” She thrusts all the wrapping paper and ribbon at me, then turns and strides off, back toward the office.

“Great, Lexi,” says Fi sarcastically. “Just when we thought she’d finally got over Matt.”

“I didn’t know!” I say, aghast. “I had no idea. I’m so sorry…” I rub my face, feeling hot and flustered. “Debs, open your present.”

I bought Debs a cross studded with tiny diamonds. She’s so crazy about jewelry, and you can’t go wrong with a cross. She has to love it.

In silence Debs pulls off the wrapping.

“I know it’s quite extravagant,” I say nervously. “But I wanted to get something really special-”

“This is a cross!” Debs thrusts the box back at me, her nose wrinkled as though it smells of something rancid. “I can’t wear this! I’m Jewish.”

“You’re Jewish?” My mouth hangs open. “Since when?”

“Since I’ve been engaged to Jacob,” she says as though it’s obvious. “I’ve converted.”

“Wow!” I say joyfully. “You’re engaged?” And of course now I can’t miss the platinum ring on her left hand, with a diamond lodged right in the center of the band. Debs wears so many rings, I hadn’t noticed it. “When’s the wedding?” My words spill out in excitement. “Where’s it happening?”

“Next month.” She looks away. “In Wiltshire.”

“Next month! Oh my God, Debs! But I haven’t got-”

I break off abruptly into a kind of hot, thudding silence. I was about to say “But I haven’t got an invitation.”

I haven’t got an invitation because I haven’t been invited.

“I mean…um…congratulations!” Somehow I keep a bright smile plastered on my face. “I hope it all goes brilliantly. And don’t worry, I can easily return the cross…and the watch…and the perfume…” With trembling fingers I start stuffing all the ripped wrapping paper into one of the gift bags.

“Yeah,” Fi says in an awkward voice. “Well, see you, Lexi.”

“Bye.” Debs still can’t look me in the eye. They both walk off and I watch them go, my chin stiff from wanting to cry.

Great work, Lexi. You didn’t win your friends back-you just fucked up everything even more.

“A present for me?” Byron’s sarcastic voice hits the back of my head and I turn to see him loping along the corridor, coffee in hand. “How sweet of you, Lexi!”

God, he gives me the creeps. He’s the snake.

“Hi, Byron,” I say as briskly as I can. “Good to see you.”

Summoning all my strength, I lift my chin high and sweep a stray hair back off my face. I can’t crumble.

“It’s very brave of you to come back, Lexi,” Byron says as we head down the corridor. “Very admirable.”

“Not really!” I say as confidently as I can. “I’m looking forward to it.”

“Well, any questions, you know where I am. Although today I’ll be with James Garrison most of the day. You remember James Garrison?”

Bloody bloody bloody. Why does he pick the people I’ve never heard of?

“Remind me,” I say reluctantly.

“He’s head of our distributor, Southeys? They distribute stock around the country? Like, carpet, flooring, the stuff we sell? They drive it around in lorries?” His tone is polite, but he’s smirking.

“Yes, I remember Southeys,” I say cuttingly. “Thanks. Why are you seeing them?”

“Well,” says Byron after a pause. “The truth is, they’ve lost their way. It’s crunch time. If they can’t improve their systems, we’re going to have to look elsewhere.”

“Right.” I nod in as bosslike a way as I can. “Well, keep me posted.” We’ve reached my office and I open the door. “See you later, Byron.”

I close the door, dump my gift bags on the sofa, open the filing cabinet, and take out an entire drawer’s worth of files. Trying not to feel daunted, I sit down at the desk and open the first one, which contains minutes of departmental meetings.

Three years. I can catch up on three years. It’s not that long.

Twenty minutes later, my brain is already aching. I haven’t read anything serious or heavy for what seems like months-and this stuff is as dense as treacle. Budget discussions. Contracts up for renewal. Performance evaluations. I feel like I’m back at college, doing about six degrees at once.

I’ve started a sheet of paper: Questions to ask, and already I’m onto the second side.

“How are you doing?” The door has opened silently and Byron is looking in. Doesn’t he knock?

“Fine,” I say defensively. “Really well. I just have a couple of tiny questions…”

“Fire away.” He leans against the doorjamb.

“Okay. First, what’s QAS?”

“That’s our new accounting system software. Everyone’s been trained in it.”

“Well, I can get trained too,” I say briskly, scribbling on my sheet. “And what’s Services.com?”

“Our online customer service provider.”

“What?” I wrinkle my brow, confused. “But what about the customer services department?”

“All made redundant years ago,” says Byron, sounding bored. “The company was restructured and a load of departments were contracted out.”

“Right.” I nod, trying to take all this in, and glance down at my sheet again. “So what about BD Brooks? What’s that?”