Remember Me?

Fuck. He’s outmaneuvered me. There’s nothing I can say about Tony Dukes, and he knows it. I shuffle the papers on my desk, playing for time.

“Maybe…you could make a decision on that?” I say at last.

“I’d be happy to.” He gives me a patronizing smile. “I’ll take care of everything. You just look after yourself, Lexi. Get yourself better, take as much time as you need. Don’t worry about a thing!”

“Well…thank you.” I force a pleasant tone. “I appreciate it, Byron.”

“So!” Dana appears at the door. “Are you two having a nice chat? Catching up with things, Lexi?”

“Absolutely.” I smile, my teeth gritted. “Byron’s being very helpful.”

“Anything I can do to help…” He spreads his arms in a self-deprecating gesture. “I’m right here. Memory intact!”

“Super!” Dana glances at her watch. “Now, Lexi, I have to shoot off to lunch, but I can see you out if we leave now…”

“Don’t worry, Dana,” I say quickly. “I’ll stay on here a bit longer and read through some paperwork.”

I’m not leaving this building without talking to Fi. No way.

“Okey-doke.” She beams. “Well, lovely to see you, Lexi, and let’s talk on the phone about when you want to return properly.” She does the phone-under-chin gesture and I find myself copying it.

“Talk soon!”

The two of them walk away, and I hear Byron saying, “Dana, may I have a word? We need to discuss this situation. With the greatest respect to Lexi…”

My office door shuts and I tiptoe toward it. I open it a chink and poke my head out.

“…she’s clearly not fit to lead this department…” Byron’s voice is audible as he and Dana turn the corner toward the lifts.

Bastard. He didn’t even bother waiting until he was out of earshot. I head back into my office, slump down at the desk, and bury my head in my hands. All my euphoria has vanished. I have no idea how I ever got this job. I lift a paper at random from the heap in front of me and stare at it. It’s something about insurance premiums. How do I know all this stuff, anyway? When did I learn it? I feel like I’ve woken up clinging to the top of Mount Everest and I don’t even know what a crampon is.

Heaving a huge sigh, I put the sheet down. I need to talk to someone. Fi. I lift the phone receiver and dial 352, which is her extension, unless they’ve changed the system.

“Flooring department, Fiona Roper speaking.”

“Fi, it’s me!” I say. “Lexi. Listen, can we talk?”

“Of course,” Fi says in formal tones. “Do you want me to come in and see you now? Or should I make an appointment with Clare?”

My heart sinks. She sounds so…remote.

“I just meant we could have a chat! Unless you’re busy…”

“Actually, I was about to go to lunch.”

“Well, I’ll come too!” I say eagerly. “Like old times! I could die for a hot chocolate. And does Morellis still do those great paninis?”

“Lexi…”

“Fi, I really need to talk to you, okay?” I clutch the phone tighter. “I…I don’t remember anything. And it’s freaking me out a bit. The whole situation.” I try to laugh. “Just hang on, I’ll be out in a moment…”

I thrust down the receiver and grab a piece of paper. I hesitate, then scrawl, “Please action all these, Byron. Many thanks, Lexi.”

I know I’m playing right into his hands. But right now all I care about is seeing my friends. Seizing my bag and briefcase, I hurry out of my office, past Clare’s desk, and into the main Flooring department.

“Hi, Lexi,” says a nearby girl. “Did you want something?”

“No, it’s okay, thanks, I’m just meeting Fi for lunch…” I trail off. I can’t see Fi anywhere in the office. Or Carolyn. Or Debs.

The girl looks surprised. “I think they’ve already gone to lunch. You only just missed them, though…”

“Oh right.” I try to hide my discomfiture. “Thanks. I expect they meant to meet in the lobby.”

I swivel on my heel, then walk as fast as I can in my spiky shoes along the corridor-just in time to see Debs disappearing into a lift.

“Wait!” I cry out, breaking into a run. “I’m here! Debs!” But the lift doors are already closing.

She heard me. I know she did.

Thoughts are spi

Can’t you?

I arrive at the ground floor and almost tumble into the foyer. The first thing I see is Carolyn and Debs heading out the main glass doors, with Fi just in front of them.

“Hi!” I cry out almost desperately. “Wait!” I pelt toward the glass doors and at last catch up with them on the front steps of the building.

“Oh, hi, Lexi.” Fi gives a tiny snort that I know means she’s trying not to laugh.

I suppose I do look a bit incongruous, ru

“I thought we were going to have lunch together!” I say, panting. “I told you I was coming!”

There’s silence. No one is meeting my eyes. Debs is twiddling her long silver pendant; her blond hair is lifting in the breeze. Carolyn has taken off her glasses and is polishing them on her white shirt.

“What’s going on?” I try to sound relaxed, but I can hear a throb of hurt in my own voice. “Fi, why didn’t you return any of my messages? Is there some kind of…problem?”

None of them speaks. I can almost see the thought-bubbles traveling between them. But I can’t read the thought-bubbles anymore; I’m out of the loop.

“You guys.” I attempt a smile. “Please. You have to help me out. I have amnesia. I don’t remember. Did we have a…a row or something?”

“No.” Fi shrugs.

“Well, I don’t understand it.” I look around the faces entreatingly. “Last I remember, we were best mates! Going out on a Friday night. We had banana cocktails, Loser Dave stood me up, we did karaoke…remember?”

Fi exhales sharply and raises her eyebrows at Carolyn. “That was a long time ago.”

“So, what’s happened since?”

“Look.” Fi sighs. “Let’s just leave it. You’ve had this accident, you’re ill, we don’t want to upset you.”

“Yes, let’s just all go and get a sandwich together.” Debs glances at Fi as though to say “Humor her.”

“Don’t patronize me!” My voice is sharper than I meant. “Forget about the accident! I’m not an invalid. I’m fine. But I need you to tell me the truth.” I look around the group in desperation. “If we didn’t have a row, what’s wrong? What happened?”

“Lexi, nothing happened.” Fi sounds awkward. “It’s just…we don’t really hang out with you anymore. We’re not mates.”

“But why not?” My heart is thudding, but I’m trying to stay calm. “Is it because I’m the boss now?”

“It’s not because you’re the boss. That wouldn’t matter if you were-” Fi breaks off. She shoves her hands in her pockets, not meeting my eye. “If I’m honest, it’s because you’re a bit of a…”

“What?” I’m looking from face to face in bewilderment. “Tell me!”

Fi shrugs. “Snotty cow.”

“Total bitch-boss-from-hell, more like,” mutters Carolyn.

The air seems to freeze solid in my lungs. Bitch-boss-from-hell? Me?

“I…I don’t understand,” I stammer at last. “Aren’t I a good boss?”

“Oh, you’re great.” Carolyn’s voice drips with sarcasm. “You penalize us if we’re late. You time our lunch hours. You do spot checks on our expenses… Oh, it’s a bundle off un in Flooring!”

My cheeks are throbbing as though she’d hit me.

“But I would never…That’s not what I’m like-”

Carolyn cuts me off. “Yeah. It is.”

“Lexi, you asked.” Fi is rolling her eyes, like she always does when she’s uncomfortable. “That’s why we don’t hang out anymore. You do your thing and we do ours.”

“I can’t be a bitch,” I manage at last, my voice trembling. “I can’t be. I’m your friend! Lexi! We have fun together, we go out dancing together, we get pissed…” Tears are pricking my eyes. I look around the faces I know so well-yet kind of don’t-trying desperately to spark a chord of recognition. “I’m me! Lexi. Snaggletooth. Remember me?”