Can You Keep A Secret?

'Marry Co

'Yes! Why not? He's tall, and he's handsome, and he's kind and he's very… he's…' I'm

floundering slightly. 'And anyway, this is my personal life. You're my boss, and you only met

me last week, and frankly, this is none of your business!'

Jack's laughter vanishes, and he looks as though I've slapped him. For a few moments he

stares at me, saying nothing. Then he takes a step back and releases the lift button.

'You're right,' he says in a completely different voice. 'Your personal life is none of my

business. I overstepped the mark, and I apologize.'

I feel a spasm of dismay.

'I… I didn't mean-'

'No. You're right.' He stares at the floor for a few moments, then looks up. 'So, I leave for the

States tomorrow. It's been a very pleasant stay, and I'd like to thank you for all your help. Will

I see you at the drinks party tonight?'

'I… I don't know,' I say.

The atmosphere has disintegrated.

This is awful. It's horrible. I want to say something, I want to put it back to the way it was

before, all easy and joking. But I can't find the words.

We reach the ninth floor, and the doors open.

'I think I can manage these from here,' Jack says. 'I really only asked you along for the

company.'

Awkwardly, I transfer the folders to his arms.

'Well, Emma,' he says in the same formal voice. 'In case I don't see you later on… it was nice

knowing you.' He meets my eyes and a glimmer of his old, warm expression returns. 'I really

mean that.'

'You too,' I say, my throat tight.

I don't want him to go. I don't want this to be the end. I feel like suggesting a quick drink. I

feel like clinging to his hand and saying: Don't leave.

God, what's wrong with me?

'Have a good journey,' I manage as he shakes my hand. Then he turns on his heel and walks

off down the corridor.

I open my mouth a couple of times to call after him — but what would I say? There's nothing

to say. By tomorrow morning he'll be on a plane back to his life. And I'll be left here in mine.

I feel leaden for the rest of the day. Everyone else is talking about Jack Harper's leaving party,

but I leave work half an hour early. I go straight home and make myself some hot chocolate,

and I'm sitting on the sofa, staring into space when Co

I look up as he walks into the room, and immediately I know something's different. Not with

him. He hasn't changed a bit.

But I have. I've changed.

'Hi,' he says, and kisses me lightly on the head. 'Shall we go?'

'Go?'

'To look at the flat on Edith Road. We'll have to hurry if we're going to make it to the party.

Oh, and my mother's given us a house-warming present. It was delivered to work.'

He hands me a cardboard box, I pull out a glass teapot and look at it blankly.

'You can keep the tea-leaves separate from the water. Mum says it really does make a better

cup of tea-'

'Co

'It's quite easy. You just have to lift the-'

'No.' I shut my eyes, trying to gather some courage, then open them again. 'I can't do this. I

can't move in with you.'

'What?' Co

'Yes. No.' I swallow. 'I've been having doubts for a while. About us. And recently they've…

they've been confirmed. If we carry on, I'll be a hypocrite. It's not fair to either of us.'

'What?' Co

'I want to break up,' I say, staring at the carpet.

'You're joking.'

'I'm not joking!' I say in sudden anguish. 'I'm not joking, OK?'

'But… this is ridiculous! It's ridiculous!' Co

Suddenly he looks at me.

'It's that plane journey.'

'What?' I jump as though I've been scalded. 'What do you mean?'

'You've been different ever since that plane ride down from Scotland.'

'No I haven't!'

'You have! You've been edgy, you've been tense…' Co

takes my hands. 'Emma, I think maybe you're still suffering some kind of trauma. You could

have counselling.'

'Co

plane ride did…' I swallow. 'Affect me. Maybe it brought my life into perspective and make

me realize a few things. And one of the things I've realized is, we aren't right for each other.'

Slowly Co

'But things have been great! We've been having lots of sex-'

'I know.'

'Is there someone else?'

'No!' I say sharply. 'Of course there's no-one else!' I rub my finger roughly up and down the

cover of the sofa.

'This isn't you talking,' says Co

hot bath, light some scented candles…'

'Co

believe me.' I look straight into his eyes. 'I want to break up.'

'I don't believe you!' he says, shaking his head. 'I know you, Emma! You're not that kind of

person. You wouldn't just throw away something like that. You wouldn't-'

He stops in shock as, with no warning, I hurl the glass teapot to the floor.

We both stare at it, stu

'It was supposed to break,' I explain after a pause. 'And that was going to signify that yes, I

would throw something away. If I knew it wasn't right for me.'

'I think it has broken,' says Co

crack.'

'There you go.'

'We could still use it-'

'No. We couldn't.'

'We could get some Sellotape.'

'But it would never work properly.' I clench my fists by my sides. 'It just… wouldn't work.'

'I see,' says Co

And I think, finally, he does.

'Well… I'll be off then,' he says at last. 'I'll phone the flat people and tell them that we're…'

He stops, and roughly wipes his nose.

'OK,' I say, in a voice which doesn't sound like mine. 'Can we keep it quiet from everyone at

work?' I add. 'Just for the moment.'

'Of course,' he says gruffly. 'I won't say anything.'

He's halfway out of the door when abruptly he turns back, reaching in his pocket. 'Emma, here

are the tickets for the jazz festival,' he says, his voice cracking a little. 'You have them.'

'What?' I stare at them in horror. 'No! Co

'You have them. I know how much you've been looking forward to hearing the De

Quartet.' He pushes the brightly coloured tickets roughly into my hand and closes my fingers

over them.

'I… I…' I swallow. 'Co

'We'll always have jazz,' says Co