Can You Keep A Secret?

books which I would have quickly constructed, one leg crossed over the other and my skirt

hitched up seductively.

Oh well.

'Hi,' I say, in the same husky voice.

'Hi,' says Co

'I just wanted to see you. A lot of you.' I push the door shut with an abandoned gesture and

trail my finger down his chest, like an aftershave commercial. 'We never make love

spontaneously any more.'

'What?' Co

'Come on.' I start unbuttoning his shirt with a sultry expression. 'Let's do it. Right here, right

now.'

'Are you crazy?' says Co

shirt. 'Emma, we're in the office!'

'So what? We're young, we're supposed to be in love…' I trail a hand even further down, and

Co

'Stop!' he hisses. 'Stop right now! Emma, are you drunk or something?'

'I just want to have sex! Is that too much to ask?'

'Is it too much to ask that we do it in bed like normal people?'

'But we don't do it in bed! I mean, hardly ever!'

There's a sharp silence.

'Emma,' says Co

'It is! It could be! This is how we get the spark back! Lissy said-'

'You discussed our sex life with Lissy?' Co

'Obviously I didn't mention us,' I say, hastily backtracking. 'We were just talking about…

about couples in general, and she said doing it at work can be… sexy! Come on, Co

shimmy close to him and pull one of his hands inside my bra. 'Don't you find this exciting?

Just the thought that someone could be walking down the corridor right now…' I come to a

halt as I hear a sound.

I think someone is walking down the corridor right now.

Oh shit.

'I can hear footsteps!' Co

exactly where it is, inside my bra. He stares at it in horror. 'I'm stuck! My bloody watch. It's

snagged on your jumper!' He yanks at it. 'Fuck! I can't move my arm!'

'Pull it!'

'I am pulling it!' He looks frantically around. 'Where are some scissors?'

'You're not cutting my jumper,' I say in horror.

'Do you have any other suggestions?' He yanks sharply again, and I give a muffled shriek.

'Ow! Stop it! You'll ruin it!'

'Oh I'll ruin it. And that's our major concern, is it?'

'I've always hated that stupid watch! If you'd just worn the one I gave you-'

I break off. There are definitely footsteps approaching. They're nearly outside the door.

'Fuck!' Co

'Calm down! We'll just shuffle into the corner,' I hiss. 'Anyway, they might not even come in.'

'This was a great idea, Emma,' he mutters furiously, as we do a hasty, awkward shuffle across

the room together. 'Really great.'

'Don't blame me!' I retort. 'I just wanted to get a bit of passion back into our-' I freeze as the

door opens.

No. God, no.

I feel lightheaded with shock.

Jack Harper is standing in the doorway, holding a big bundle of old magazines.

Slowly, his eyes run over us, taking in Co

agonized face.

'Mr Harper,' Co

clears his throat. 'Can I just say how mortified I am… we both are…'

'I'm sure you are,' says Jack. His face is blank and unreadable; his voice as dry as ever.

'Perhaps the pair of you could adjust your dress before returning to your desks?'

The door closes behind him, and we stand motionless, like waxworks.

'Look, can you just get your bloody hand out of my top?' I say at last, suddenly feeling

irritated beyond belief with Co

livid with myself. And Co

TEN

Jack Harper leaves today.

Thank God. Thank God. Because I really couldn't cope with any more of… of him. If I can

just keep my head down and avoid him until five o'clock and then run out of the door, then

everything will be fine. Life will be back to normal and I will stop feeling as if my radar's

been skewed by some invisible magnetic force.

I don't know why I'm in such a jumpy, irritable mood. Because although I nearly died of

embarrassment yesterday, things are pretty good. First of all, it doesn't look like' Co

are going to get the sack for having sex at work, which was my immediate fear. And secondly,

my brilliant plan worked. As soon as we got back to our desks, Co

apologetic emails. And then last night we had sex. Twice. With scented candles.

I think Co

Cosmo. Because every time he brings them out, he gives me this 'aren't I considerate?' look,

and I have to say 'Oh! Scented candles! How lovely!'

I mean, don't get me wrong. I don't mind scented candles. But it's not as if they actually do

anything, is it? They just stand there and burn. And then at crucial moments I find myself

thinking 'I hope the scented candle doesn't fall over', which is a bit distracting.

Anyway. So we had sex.

And tonight we're going to look at a flat together. It doesn't have a wooden floor or shutters -

but it has a Jacuzzi in the bathroom, which is pretty cool. So my life is coming together nicely.

I don't know why I'm feeling so pissed off. I don't know what's-

I don't want to move in with Co

No. That can't be right. That ca

But I don't want to—

Shut up. We're the Perfect Couple. We have sex with scented candles. And we go for walks

by the river. And we read the papers on Sundays with cups of coffee in pyjamas. That's what

perfect couples do.

But—

Stop it!

I swallow hard. Co

have?

The phone rings on my desk, interrupting my thoughts, and I pick it up.

'Hello, Emma?' comes a familiar dry voice. 'This is Jack Harper.'

My heart gives an almighty leap of fright and I nearly spill my coffee. I haven't seen him

since the hand-in-bra incident. And I really don't want to.

I should never have answered my phone.

In fact, I should never have come into work today.

'Oh,' I say.'Er… hi!'

'Would you mind coming up to my office for a moment?'

'What… me?' I say nervously.

'Yes, you.'

I clear my throat.

'Should I… bring anything?'

'No, just yourself.'

He rings off, and I stare at my phone for a few moments, feeling a coldness in my spine. I

should have known it was too good to be true. He's going to fire me after all. Gross…

negligence… negligent grossness.

I mean, it is pretty gross, getting caught with your boyfriend's hand in your top at work.

OK. Well, there's nothing I can do.

I take a deep breath, stand up and make my way up to the eleventh floor. There's a desk

outside his door, but no secretary is sitting there, so I go straight up to the door and knock.

'Come in.'

Cautiously I push the door open. The room is huge and bright and panelled, and Jack is sitting

at a circular table with six people gathered round on chairs. Six people I've never seen before,

I suddenly realize. They're all holding pieces of paper and sipping water, and the atmosphere